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Parent's Weekend with Dad


erinbbby

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Awesome work! You have a really terrific knack for interesting, unexpected detail that makes your characters shine (e.g. the father's big, dorky, retro glasses). I can't wait for the next part.

 

Unlike most of those who have commented, however, I have little sympathy for the narrator and I fail to see what the father has done that is so terrible. On the contrary, he's taken an interest in his son, despite his son's attempts to keep him at a distance. He hasn't been abusive, nor has he berated or insulted his son. Rather than be upset or insulted at his son's obvious lack of interest in spending time with him, he's remained upbeat, been socialble and had fun. He even shows genuine affection, repeatedly hugging his son warmly. 

 

True, asking his son to lend him his room for the night so that he can have sex is a bit crass, but that's about it. If he was cheating on his wife, that would be one thing, but the narrator doesn't hint at infidelity; either his parents are no longer together or he's so self-absorbed he hasn't even considered his mother. For all of his whining about his unlucky genetic fate, he admits that his father has worked hard to build his body, whereas he has chosen to be sedentary and isolated. He doesn't even seem to practice good hygeine.

 

I'm reminded of a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." This kid's not just consenting, he seems determined to wallow in misery.

 

I look forward to seeing where the story goes, and I'm sure that whatever direction you take will be compelling. My hope is that you choose not to travel the well-trodden paths of revenge trope (outgrowing/dominating/humiliating his dad) or submission fantasy (becoming his father's slave/worshipper/plaything—perpetually humiliated and loving it). It would be a refreshing change if the narrator were to find happiness living his life on his own terms, as he chooses (though perhaps with a little less slovenliness and little more shampoo) and if he afforded his father the same consideration. Whether or not he grows into a musclegod, I hope he grows as person. 

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  • 4 weeks later...

I'm right there with you in my appreciation for those kinds of stories, muscledrain, and I aggree it's a fantastic story (and I would love to read more!).

 

My comment was more a response to the many preceding opinions that the father is a horrible person who deserves some comeuppance, and the son is somehow virtuous in his self-imposed victimhood. I also found the dad's appropriation of and recreation in his son's room hot, but I still maintain that based on the story as presented, the father isn't a bully nor did he intentionally humiliate his son. If it had been that kind of story and the dad was a dominating bully who took his son's room (and his girlfriend too, if the self-described "shrimp" had one!), that would also have made for an incredibly hot story. At least then the son might have been deserving of the sympathy expressed in some previous comments. As it is, he comes off as petty, self-pitying, and entirely responsible for his own misery.

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  • 1 year later...

I can't believe it's been well over a year since this story was posted! I would also desperately like to see it continued. Here's hoping inspiration strikes.

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  • 2 years later...

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