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Guilt/Shame/Embarrassment in Bodybuilding/Muscle Growth?

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To be whole we must overcome our shame -- for being gay, for loving muscle (even extreme muscle). We must begin to love ourselves for who we are, not what someone wants us to be. Learning self-acceptance and self-love is the key to becoming the kind of man who others find attractive (sexually or not). Repeat the mantra: "I love myself" many times a day. Turn it into a meditation. Look at yourself in the mirror and say it. I - LOVE - MYSELF. The result is magical. Try it for a few days.

 

Jake

 

This is such healthy advice and truly is a component of coming out and loving ones self.

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It's comforting to know that I'm not the only one in that metaphorical boat. I'm still not sure about my sexuality at 33 years old for... personal reasons. When I see a guy with impressive muscles, I'm not sure if I want to be *with* a guy like that, or if I just want to *be* a guy like that. A good example is my current job (one of them) as a 1-to-1 para-educator (similar to a teacher's assistant) in an elementary school. The teacher is a guy who, despite being about 2 inches shorter than me, (I'm 5'7") is far more muscular than I am. On one hand, I want to ask him about workout tips and the best routines for putting on muscle, but on the other I'm kind of ashamed about liking the look of big muscles.

 

Long story short, I'm the one obstacle that stands between me and having the kind of body that I would be proud of showing off.

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I know what you mean.  It is hard to have the ideals in your mind, but still be smart enough to buck the social and cultural norms.  Sometimes I wish I just conformed and worked out myself... Lord knows I need to.  It's hard though.  Guilt and shame are feelings I never got along with.

 

It's comforting to know that I'm not the only one in that metaphorical boat. I'm still not sure about my sexuality at 33 years old for... personal reasons. When I see a guy with impressive muscles, I'm not sure if I want to be *with* a guy like that, or if I just want to *be* a guy like that. A good example is my current job (one of them) a a 1-to-1 para-educator (similar to a teacher's assistant) in an elementary school. The teacher is a guy who, despite being about 2 inches shorter than me, (I'm 5'7") is far more muscular than I am. On one hand, I want to ask him about workout tips and the best routines for putting on muscle, but on the other I'm kind of ashamed about liking the look of big muscles.

 

Long story short, I'm the one obstacle that stands between me and having the kind of body that I would be proud of showing off.

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I'd also like to point out that not everyone here is a big guy. No sense being ashamed of that either, so don't make a big deal of it.

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For a while in my teens years into my early twenties, I felt this way. The slightest notice if my attraction to bigger more muscular guys seemed horrible atop mybiwn desire to be that big and to also be gay. 

For some, over time we can fond ourselves in the sense that we become comfortable with ourselves. We build on that then eventually go out and get what we want.

After a while I noticed that the people around me matured and became somewhat comfortable with who I was and what I was doing despite me never really talking about. I expressed my interestes in my actions. I feel if those around love you, then they will love you exploring what you desire. 

I know its difficult sometimes to get beyond other people's opinions or expectations. I found that once I let that go it was so incredibly freeing. I guess I developed not a hard shell but enough respect for myself that I allowed myself to acknowledge my own feelings. Then especting others for their but not allowing it to stop me. In the end others can't control us, it p yo us to make ourselves happy. I think its about finding the comfort that we are making ourselves happy as we deserve to be happy and everyone is doing it to some extent. 

 

You have come along way and I hope you feel a lot better.

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