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Colin's Determination, Part 1


cropsey23

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This isn't a story about superheros capable of inhuman feats or growth. It is, very simply, a story about a determined young man. Colin used that single-minded determination to put mind over matter, and in the process, he willed his dreams to come true. 

 

Colin is my younger stepbrother. I met him when his widowed mom married my dad, about 7 years ago. I don't think Colin ever knew his dad, but he carried his dark Mediterrenean looks. At the time, he was still in grade school, and I was in high school. I still lived with my mom at that point, so Colin and I really only spent time together during holidays and summers.

 

I was your typical high school baseball jock. By 16, I had leveled out at an even six feet tall, and carried a fairly solid 180lbs on my frame. The coaches liked my speed and agility, and they moved me to third base. I was lifting three or four times a week, but I was careful not to add too much muscle. The last thing the coaches wanted was a slow, muscle bound third baseman. I was strong, with solid arms and fairly strong shoulders. My build, overall, could be characterized as your typical beefy baseball jock.

 

Colin was enamored of me right from the start, and I really liked having a kid brother too. He was so devoted, and would come to everyone of my baseball games when our schedules aligned. I would see him in the bleachers, watching and cheering my every play. Holidays and vacations would be filled with baseball games, or a pickup basketball game in the driveway. Colin would exhaust me with questions about my baseball prowess, or how I so easily dunked a basketball. It was tiring, but always fun to share my sports knowledge with him. And every time he met me after one of my baseball games, he would say "I'm going to play third base someday, just like you Greg."

 

In high school, Colin got drafted for the swim team. He was, quite literally, a fish in water. Fast as hell, even though he didn't have the height typical of most swimmers. And he loved it, being on the team. The coaches had him practicing two to three hours a day, sometimes more if a critical meet was coming up, but he never complained.

 

I came home one spring, my first visit home in over four months. I think that was the longest time we had been apart. I was now 23, finishing college, and a fantastic collegiate baseball career. The trainers had me on a disciplined diet, so I was now a leaner 175, still at six feet tall.

 

When I saw Colin, I was a bit startled. He was now about 5 10, but achingly lean from so many hours in the pool. He had the broad shoulders of a swimmer, but his shirts just hung on his frame. He came over to hug me and he felt like a sack of bones. Colin had always been lean, and was sensitive about it, so I didn't say anything. I figured he must have weighed about 130lbs.

 

He had very exciting news to tell me. He had been accepted into the college I just graduated from, and now that he was free of the swim team, he was anxious to try out for the baseball team. "I'm going to try for third base....just like you Greg!" I was skeptical, there was no way he would make the team. I just didn't have the heart to tell him. 

 

To make things worse, he had lined up a try out with my old coaches for the following week, and he wanted me to go along with him. He was so excited, so I agreed, keeping my reluctance to myself.

 

My coaches were happy to see me back so soon, and they recognized Colin right away. He was sent to the locker room to suit up, as the other players gathered on the field for try outs. When he walked out onto the field, I was crestfallen for him. The uniform just swallowed up his narrow frame, and he looked like a kid in his dad's clothes. There was no way he could compete with the beefy jocks on the field. I heard one of the coaches chuckle, but I just kept quiet, and cheered for Colin, like he cheered for me so many times.

 

Colin was surprisingly agile and fast on the field. He never missed a fly ball, and ran like a gazelle across the outfield to catch them. The grounders, he always managed to stop, and he made some fast double plays as well. But when he had to throw the ball in from the outfield, I could tell his arm just was not strong enough. Even when he was at bat, he did connect with the ball a few times, but I noticed his frame just could not absorb the power of the ball enough to drive it back out. He seemed to get knocked back a few inches every time. 

 

After all the other kids cleared out, the coach called me and Colin into his office. I could tell the coach was about to deliver some bad news.

 

"Colin" he began, "you are a good athlete, and you have the instincts of a good baseball player. And I don't think I have seen anyone as fast as you in a few seasons."

 

Colin looked at me and beamed. I smiled, gamely. Here comes the windup, I thought.

 

The coach said "I can't offer you a spot on the team right now Colin. You are just too lean, and I can't risk you getting injured by one of the bigger players."

 

I looked over at Colin and was surprised that he did not look so disappointed. Maybe it just wasn't registering?

 

"But here's what I can do for you, since your big brother was such a good player. Go get on the scale Colin," and the coach pointed to the doctor's scale in the corner. Colin stripped to his briefs, and got on the scale. Seeing him like that, I could not believe how lean he looked, even though he was fit from the swimming.

 

The scale settled at... 124. Five feet ten inches, 124lbs. I could not wrap my mind around those staggering statistics. Even the coach look surprised, I'm sure he estimated Colin at 130 like I did. 

 

"Come back in three months Colin. If you weigh in at 140, I will give you another tryout." I could tell even the coach didn't think growth like that was possible.

 

Colin, expressionless, silently picked up his clothes and went to the locker room to get dressed. He must be devastated, I thought. I looked out to check up on him, and all I saw was his gaunt frame getting swallowed up in a room full of bursting sinew.

 

The ride back home was made in silence. I gamely told Colin that the swim team would love to have him, but he didn't even acknowledge me.

 

Later that night, at home, I was in my room, chatting online with a buddy. My door was pushed open, I looked up and saw Colin standing there, his frame in marked contrast to the wide doorway. I ended the chat and said "hey buddy...cmon in. How are you doing?"

 

Colin walked over to me, and there was a purpose in his stride. "I have three months Greg," he said, with determination.

 

"Three months. Colin, 16 pounds is a lot, even for more athletic guys. I don't want you to be disappointed again. Maybe you should re-think the swim team?"

 

Colin leaned down to me, and looked me right in the eye. He took my chin in his thin, bony hand, and with a stark determination, he said, "I have three months Greg. You can help me, or you can watch me. But I will make that team."

 

I grabbed his thin wrist and with tremendous ease, moved his hand off my chin, in a subtle way, showing him that I was the older brother, and I did not take orders. But I looked in his eyes, and saw the determination, and I was compelled.

 

"Okay Colin, I can help you." 

 

Unblinking, he looked at me, and said "that's the right decision brother." I felt a chill. I could have cracked him in half without even trying, but then it dawned on me: he was right. I did make the right decision.

 

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