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Thanks guys for your comments and support words. I have a sequel, more like a parallel story, over on the main stories forum if you are interested. Let me know what you think if you get a minute.

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  • 5 months later...
On March 28, 2016 at 5:08 PM, js44 said:

If Danny gets it, does he corrupt Curtis and his team?

 

Or, maybe if Curtis gets it, he transforms his nerdier buddies, and they become corrupted by the amulet?

Yes please.  Alternate versions :)

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On June 22, 2015 at 3:52 PM, js44 said:

“Where do you think you're going?” you say with a chuckle and, using your mind, you lift his feet off the ground and pull him magically back. He continues to try running but cannot as you drag him back to between your friends, them still inspecting the naked beast before them. “Stay,” you say, and you bend the locker metal to form handcuffs and lock his hands into the metal. “Don't move,” you order, forcing his limbs to become too weak to do anything as he helplessly struggles to undo himself.

This is so hot.

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On June 22, 2015 at 3:52 PM, js44 said:

You know you can transform them into whatever you wish, and you're tempted to feed your power of strength to them. Or you could posses them, or drain them of their own mortal strength.

And this.  

 

I would try all of it.  Possess them / direct them for my entertainment.  Make them fuck while playing with making them stronger and weaker for fun.  Give them power to see what they do, and drain them when I get bored. ?

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I just wrote a third part still need to edit it. I'll add it to the main story area probably in the next week or two. Thanks for your feedback, I changed the narration each time, and each story is told from different perspectives. The problem with this story is that I've only been able to write different TF sequences for groups of guys, I don't develop them. I just hop to the next jock that the amulet, or other amulets, seems to "find." Then show how the next dude gains those powers, and usually becomes corrupted them.

 

Do you guys have a direction you'd like to see this go in? These stories have been pretty dark, I don't know if it'd be a good idea to turn this story into a good vs evil kind of thing because the guys are always pretty much evil in these stories. But maybe a different group of dudes could not be corrupted by the powers and use them for good. The fun part of these stories, to me, is that it's usually worst kind of person in these stories (just shithead jocks) who end up, well, ruling in the stories. It'd probably be fun to take it in a newer direction, but I'm not sure how to do it.

 

Thanks for the feedback skumbum, and jurai. Always great to hear from people who appreciate this stuff, helps motivate me to write more.

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I'd like to pick your brain dude if you use Skype. Your stories are great but part 2 hado a flaw to me that bugged me a bit and I've rped the scene out with an alternate ending if you'd care to hear it 

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Thanks Jurai, that's awesome that you made part of the story your own, would definitely like to hear what you did with it. I felt a little uneasy about the ending of part II, it felt unfinished and like the characters didn't take it anywhere satisfying, an abrupt ending that was also kind of weak. Part III is much more like I, but I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not, just to have a similar situation but with different characters.

I don't have skype, but I'm happy to hear your comments if you want to PM them or post them to the Jocks Rule II forum. I'll try to get III up shortly, too, look forward to your feedback there too.

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I like these but they all feel like cliffhanger endings.  Would love to see Part I continued, or the other parts developed more.  e.g. I've just gained these half dozen powers, let's see what I do with each of them in various situations.  Let's go to the rival team's gym, the ones that slighted us last time, and be petty. ? 

Thanks for sharing your work!  

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