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time-historical The Adventures of Grobelix the Gaul (with thanks to newthirty)


CardiMuscleman

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newthirty

I thank you for finding these very fitting roman and gaulish names. never found fitting ones for the persons in the comic, buit you did it marvellously.

I will continue this story soon, just some pages more and it will find its end in an epic battle between roman and gaulish muscles.

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CardiMuscleman

I thank you for finding these very fitting roman and gaulish names. never found fitting ones for the persons in the comic, buit you did it marvellously. I will continue this story soon, just some pages more and it will find its end in an epic battle between roman and gaulish muscles.

Well, it does help having a moderate knowledge of the Roman Empire (plus the Asterix universe)

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Hanugumo

Well, if you want to be true to the comic strip than you should wait till the next part of the comic stip. But if you want to get this over with quickly then you shouldn't. It's all your decision really. ^^

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CardiMuscleman

Well, if you want to be true to the comic strip than you should wait till the next part of the comic stip. But if you want to get this over with quickly then you shouldn't. It's all your decision really. ^^

I fully intend to wait, after all I am just putting in the words. It's newthirty who is coming up with the story

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  • 1 month later...
CardiMuscleman

Part Five

As Paxsterix jumped down Grobelix listened to his detailed report of hundreds of Roman soldiers, as big, if not bigger than the both of them, heading towards their village. For a moment, despite the fact that the power of Toutatis flowed through them both, he doubted if the two of them could stop such an advance and perhaps sensing his friend's concerns, Paxsterix bent his arm.

"You see this?" he asked his friend, "this is the arm that built my house, the arm that carried all those stones from your quarry to my home, lifted every one over the course of six months. Of course, it wasn't that big then, but I endured the pain knowing that once built that house would be my home for life. A home that we now share as friends. If those Romans get to our village you know what they will do, raze it to the ground!"

"NEVER" roared Grobelix, his doubts erased by his friend, "THEY HAVE ME TO ANSWER" and with that he started to pound his chest, with deep resonating booms echoing through the forest. As he did he roared "FOR THE GLORY OF GAUL!" and with that the two friends marched to meet their foes.

As the Romans came face to face with the Gauls, a tense stand off developed. The Romans flexing their new muscles in defiance with the Gauls just standing there like an immovable wall. For several moments both groups stood stock still sizing each other up and then, it happened as Paxsterix, Grobelix and Cannix charged into the Romans grabbing hold of their necks, delivering uppercuts of such power that even in their powerful forms some Romans lost a tooth and in the case of Cannix a bite of their naked glutes. And as they did, Grobelix and Paxsterix employed their usual tactics of making ribald comments at the Romans expense. It wasn't long before Grobelix and Minimus were fighting hand to hand and both being as big and as strong as each other they were evenly matched, but with a mighty PAF Grobelix managed to knock Minimus cold and holding him above his head he roared his triumph yelling "Your leader has fallen by the power of Toutatis!"

No sooner had he invoked the god than his forearm started to glow, then his upper arm and eventually his hand as well and as it glowed it started to spark and as Grobelix paraded his victim through the Romans, Paxsterix noticed that the Romans were shrinking back to their usual size whilst Grobelix's arm was getting bigger and bigger. And it was clear that Grobelix was feeling something as well as he couldn't help himself leaving a trail of white liquid on the forest floor. A few moments later, the Romans lay defeated at their feet and as Minimus came around he pleaded for his life. Grobelix looked at his friend and then at the defeated Roman and said "We will, but only for you to bear witness to what you have seen" and with that he nodded to his friend who started to bend every extremity of his body.

"Tell your Caesar" moaned Paxsterix, every flex filling him with power, "what you have seen. How the gods of our nation protect us and that if any nation dares to attack us, we shall rise up against them" and with that both men aimed their fists at the Roman and knocked him unconsious and let him drop onto the pile of defeated Romans at their feet.

"So" asked Grobelix, "some new Romans then next month?"

"There will be" smiled Paxsterix, "but I don't think we need worry about them for some time" and with that he put his arm around his friend's neck and said "Onward, my friend, onward and between the two of us perhaps we can free Gaul from the Roman yoke!" and as they walked towards the setting sun, Grobelix added "So long as I get to experience that power as well!" and as the two Gauls walked away, Cannix gave a knowing wink before following them

***

"Yeah, right! Like that ever happened!"

The rest of the crowd gathered at the dig of the oldest Gaulish village ever to have been discovered in Normandy turned to face the dissenter.

"Two men become huge hulking muscle monsters thanks to a dolmen, see off a Roman garrison and then free Gaul from the Romans. Yeah, pull the other one!"

The storyteller replied, "Do not mock the legends of Gaul. These are the legends that our nation is built on. You would not mock Captain America, why mock the Gauls?"

"Because it sounds like something you'd find online from people who had nothing better to do than wish to become Hulks themselves!" and with that the dissenter left the village and stormed off back to the tour bus all the time grumbling to himself about "superhuman musclemen" and "sexual orgies that would make your hair curl". However, in his temper, he made a wrong turn and soon found himself completely lost and found himself in a clearing next to an ancient burial site.

"Stupid country!" he said and with that gave the dolmen he had found himself next to an almighty kick. No sooner had he done so then he felt two presences next to him and turned. If he had been able to he would have screamed in horror and there before him were two ghosts, both of hugely muscular naked men.

"Why do you dismiss us?" asked one of them with a bald head and a thick moustache

"Perhaps he needs some proof?" chuckled the other one with a thick head of hair and with that advanced towards the dissenter who walked backwards eventually colliding with the dolmen and with his hands over his head screamed "Please, don't hurt me!"

"Hurt you?" asked the bald headed man

"We want to show you the truth!" replied the thick haired man and with that they grabbed the man and held him fast against the dolmen and screamed "BY THE POWER OF TOUTATIS" and as a lighting bolt struck the dolmen the man screamed in both sexual and physical agony as he was transformed into the Gaulish Hero!

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  • 5 years later...
hans902

OMG! It's soooo naughty, but at the same time full of Asterix comic and movie quotes.

"I'M GONNA THROW YOU OVER THE EDGE OF THE WORLD AND ROME'S GONNA BE MY OYSTER!" LOL!

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