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The Adventures of Grobelix the Gaul (with thanks to newthirty)


CardiMuscleman

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Of course I had some dialogue in mind when I was drawing, but I found it a nice idea, if someone would put(his) words into the speech. most of the scenes are quite self-explanatory.

And so, with permission from newthirty, the words

In the first century BC, the Roman Empire dominated the majority of the European continent including the modern day nation of France and as Caesar made his way to conquer Britain, he would famously state to his generals "Alea Jacta Est". However, what he did not let on was that in the northwestern part of the country, two villages still held out against the Romans. One of them was a very famous village and would become known throughout the world to both Gauls and Romans alike as "that village full of indomitable Gauls", the other village however was less well known but for the Romans that were laying seige to it they knew that it would only take a single word from their chief and they would be facing the wrong end of Pluto's judgement.

Legionary Minimus, one of the newer recruits to the Roman army, was therefore bored stiff. Ever since he had arrived from Rome he'd been told to just sit tight and wait for their relief, which was no good at all. He was raised by his father, a former member of the glorious tenth legion, the legion that delivered Hispania into the Roman yoke, to "ensure that the glory of Rome was resisted by nothing" and having to spend all day doing nothing got his wick up. So when he was able to slip out of the camp and do some scouting, he took the chance. However, he hadn't reckoned with how big the forest around the village was and soon had no option but to answer the call of nature and so finding something that resembled a collection of stones, he relived himself.

"OI!" shouted a voice behind him, just as he finished and the legionary came face to face with one of the villagers who was clearly in bad mood.

"What do you think you're doing?" he bellowed, "Would you let me relieve myself on the steps of the Senate?"

The legionary quaked in his sandals. He had never met the villagers before and yet knew precisely who had grabbed him. It was Grobelix, the biggest, strongest and most muscular villager. As the Gaul held the soldier at arm's length, Minimus remembered something one of the soldiers had told him. "Watch out for that Grobelix bloke, he's so strong that he once managed to throw an oak tree as far as you could throw a silver birch!"

"WELL" said Grobelix, "I'm waiting!"

Minimius was too scared to answer and so Grobelix decided to explain. "This is a dolemn" he said, "it is a place of reverance to us Gauls, legend has it that under these dolemns the gods are buried. This one is dedicated to the god of our tribe, Toutatis, god of thunder and you come along and...and..." and with that Grobelix bent his free arm and as it bulged, Minimus started to plead for mercy. As he did, the Gaul noted the legionary was still showing down below and as he examined it, he couldn't help but burst out laughing. Just to make sure he wasn't imagining, he pinched it and the legionary screamed in pain. Placing the legionary on the ground, the Gaul chuckled as he pulled his own from his breeches and said "That's what we have" and then had an idea. Taking off his breeches, he slammed the legionary against the dolemn and said "Now, let me show you how it really works"

Minimus screamed in agony but it was no good and soon Grobelix was having his merry way with him. After several moments, the legionary couldn't stand any more and with a scream of "Mercy" he blacked out. As Grobelix removed himself from the legionary, he tutted, "I've a good mind to write to Caesar and ask for some more" and with that he tossed the legionary away and he landed on top of the dolemn as Grobelix turned around adding, "What I wouldn't give for some of those gladiators I hear about, then I'd have some real fun, by Toutatis!"

As soon as he had invoked the god of thunder, there was a rumble in the sky and without warning, a thunderbolt crashed down striking the Roman. Grobelix turned and witnessed the granting of his wish as Minimus screamed in agony as his body started to grow. First, the metal around his chest started to break, then the tunic he wore ripped, and slowly but surely he started to smile. He felt powerful, stronger than Ursus, more muscular than Hercules and as his body broke free of the last vestiges of Roman civilisation he roared. Grobelix, still stunned by the legionary's transformation, gasped "By Toutatis" and almost in answer, the Roman roared "NO, BY JUPITER" as the transformation completed and the legionary, now gladiator jumped to the ground.

"So" he said, in a voice now several octaves deeper, "you think you can tackle a gladiator then? Even one with this!" and pointed to his, which was now at least three times as long and twice as thick as it was, "I think not!" and with that punched Grobelix with such force that the now naked giant had no problem placing the fallen Gaul onto his shoulders and chuckling said "Now, what can I do with the strongest Gaul in the world and this monster?"

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Just curious:

 

Why are you spelling it "dolemn" instead of "dolmen?" Do your fingers, like mine, have a mind of their own or are you suggesting these "dolemn" are different in some fashion?

 

Otherwise, great work and here's hoping there will be more-more-more!

 

xoxo

 

Richard

 

PS:

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dolmen

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Why are you spelling it "dolemn" instead of "dolmen?" Do your fingers, like mine, have a mind of their own or are you suggesting these "dolemn" are different in some fashion?

Simple misspelling (as I am using Notepad to avoid problems with formatting as stated in the past with Word)

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Part Two

Paxsterix, Grobelix's friend, was making his way through the forest looking for his friend. As the strongest Gaul in the village, the chief never liked it when he wandered too far away and so he had offered to go and find him reassuring the chief, "Oh, you know him, he's probably hunting boar, uprooting a tree, bashing Romans over the head, nothing to worry about". However, if Paxsterix knew the straits that Grobelix was in at the moment, his gentle amble would have become a sprint.

"By Jupiter" declared Minimus, "I've never felt such power", a statement that Grobelix would have agreed with if he wasn't unconcious and being used by the legionary as a plaything. He then remembered one of his heroes, the legendary Gluteus Maximus, the Roman legionary who won a laurel wreath at the Games held in Olympia the previous year and chuckling, picked up Grobelix by the neck and said "That Gluteus, throwing a weight on the end of a chain fifty stadia, ha, I'll show him!" and with that started to spin Grobelix around and around with the intention of throwing him as far as he could. Sadly, just as he was about to throw him, the Gaul slipped from his hands and landed with a thump on top of the dolmen. As he did, he started to come around and because Minimus could react, Grobelix took advantage. "Now" he bellowed, "see what true power is like" and with that he roared "TOUTATIS, I give myself to you!"

Just as before, a lighting bolt struck and this time Grobelix was the target. As he felt the power surge through him he screamed "I HAVE THE POWER OF TOUTATIS" and with that started to grow. Minimus watched on in awe as the already strong Gaul changed. First his pigtails disappeared as did his full head of hair, next his body strong as it was, started to become even stronger with his muscles becoming more and more defined, and he grew taller as well, in fact he grew so much that his breeches couldn't stand the strain and ripped to reveal a weapon that put Minimus in the shade. As the bolt faded, Grobelix gasped and looking down chuckled saying "Now, what did you say?" and with that jumped down and approached the legionary, "Think you can tackle a gladiator? How can you tackle a Gaulish god?" and with that punched the legionary in his stomach with his weapon which got harder and was soon level with the legionary's face.

About half an hour later, Paxsterix could start to hear a noise. It was a strange noise that sounded like a bear, similar to those he had encountered in Germania when rescuing their druid from the Goths, and someone panting after a long run. As he got closer, he could hear grunting as well and he nodded. "That Grobelix" he chuckled as he headed towards the sound, adding "All right, you, leave that tree...". He stopped in mid sentence as he came across a scene of sheer disbelief. His friend, already strong anyway, now towered over him by several feet and he was making love to another man, perhaps a little smaller. As he took in the scene, he gasped "By Belisama. Grobelix, is that you?". His answer came in the form of a giant hand grabbing him by his shirt and being raised level with the giant's face who bellowed, "BEHOLD, the glory of TOUTATIS" and threw him towards the dolmen where as soon as he impacted, the god delivered his gift and then returned to his victim and thrust his weapon into his mouth. As he did, he turned to see his friend become as big and as strong as he was and as he did he smiled. "I've always wondered what you'd look like with a body like mine" he said, remembering the slender form that was now being destroyed to create a second Gaulish god, "and now you have!"

As Paxsterix roared he flexed his new body and was amazed. "I'm powerful?" he asked, "I'm strong?" he added as he walked towards his friend. "And you're mine!" replied Grobelix as the two friends clasped hands and measured each other's strength. As they did, Grobelix put the legionary to one side and flexed his weapon. Paxsterix looked at it in awe and gingerly touching it he asked "May I, my friend?". Grobelix smiled and said "I have been waiting you to ask for the last twenty years!" and with that he thrust it into his friend's mouth and as his friend sucked, he rubbed his friend's weapon placing both men into a state of absolute bliss.

Minimus took advantage of the distraction and tiptoed to the dolmen. Placing his arms around it he whispered, "Toutatis, Gaulish god of thunder, I beesech thee..." and then screamed "GIVE ME YOUR POWER" and sure enough another lighting bolt hit the dolmen and as the legionary grew yet again, his laughter became more and more manical. "BEHOLD" he screamed, "THE GLORY OF THE ROMAN EMPIRE!"

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I wonder why Toutatis would give his power to Minimus seeing as minimus doesn't worship him and is an enemy to his followers. <=/ *thinks* The ending seems a bit strange to me in that regard. ^^; Sorry.

But the rest of the part is awesome. 83 <3

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Part Three

Paxsterix screamed as he climaxed as did Grobelix and as the two men recovered from their exertions, Paxseterix asked, "Where's he gone?". The ominius roars coming from behind the dolmen and the crackle of lighting soon gave the answer as did the sight of the legionary now towering over both giants, himself at least twice as tall as them and to all intents and purposes eight times as stronger demonstrated as he picked up the menhir at the top of the dolmen and threw it away as it were a pebble. "BEHOLD" he roared, "THE POWER OF THE MIGHT OF ROME" and with that grabbed the two men by their necks, his laughs resembling manical thunder.

"Now" he asked, as he held the two men at arms length from each other, the feat of almost god like strength making his own weapon react, "how about I explain what I'm going to do eh? First, I'm going to let you watch as I destroy your village, then I am going to throw you over the edge of the world and then, then, then ROME IS MY OYSTER!" and as he laughed he flexed every muscle in his body. However, Paxsterix and Grobelix had began to notice something. The legionary was not as big as he had been just moments earlier. Without saying a word, they just nodded and pleaded for their lives. "Me? Spare you?" bellowed the legionary, "Why should I? You Gauls have caused us Romans so many troubles since we invaded..." and then he stopped. He stared at his hand, now no bigger than when he had started. "What's happening?" he gasped as his strength failed and the two Gauls dropped the ground. As he realised that he was shrinking, it was now his turn to beg for mercy and as he reverted to the form that he had when he first encountered the Gauls, he slumped to his knees.

"Now" said Paxsterix, grabbing his weapon, "what was that about throwing us off the edge of the world?"

"Yes" added Grobelix, doing the same, "and conquering the world?" and with that they both looked at each other and said in unison, "We can think of a much better punishment" and with that Paxsterix picked up the Roman in his hand as Grobelix said, "What was that game we encountered in Hispania? You know, the one where you hit things with sticks?" and gestured to his weapon. Paxsterix smiled and standing a few feet apart he threw the legionary at Grobelix, who hit the legionary so hard with his weapon that he sailed into the air and disappeared from sight.

***

Centurion Summerbonus was having his favourite dream. He had singlehandedly conquered the Gauls and was being promoted to Tribune of the newly Romanised Gaul and was just reciving his laurel wreath of office when he heard a scream. He was woken by the sound of something landing heavily and as he opened his eyes, he stared in disbelief at the sight of an unconcious man at the bottom of his seat. He stood up and sighed and grabbing the man by the neck he bellowed, "Legionary Minimus, you know the punishment for going absent without leave" and with that snapped his fingers. In stepped two of the biggest legionaries on the camp, Pectoralis and Brachius, the twin older brothers of Gluteus who saluted the centurion with a mighty "AVE!".

"Get this man out of here" said Summerbonus, pointing to Minimus, "and when we wakes up I want to know firstly, where he has been for the last three hours and secondly, why he's naked!"

"Oh, we'll find out" smirked Pectoralis, thumping his hand with the other.

"Yeah" replied Brachius, "or our name isn't Maximus" and with that started to make for the legionary who started to come around.

***

"There, good as new" said Paxsterix as he and Grobelix replaced the menhir on top of the dolmen and as they stood back to admire their work, a tiny YAP caught their attention. There on the ground, wagging his tail, was little Canix. Grobelix had adopted him when he followed them on a tour of Gaul to prove to a Roman tax collector that Gaul was not part of the Roman Empire and that none of it's foods could be deemed subject to Roman taxes and he had served them well ever since, helping them escape from an Egyptian pyramid using only his nose and preventing Paxsterix from being swept overboard during a storm on a fishing trip. As the dog bounded up across Grobelix's muscular body and started licking his masters face, Paxsterix suddenly realised something. "You know" he said, "now that we are mighty Gaulish warriors, we can hardly have a dog who couldn't even lift a bone can we?"

Grobelix turned to his friend and growled. "No one is taking little Canix from me" he said, and flexed his arms to prove the point.

"I never said that we would get rid of him" said Paxsterix, smiling, "I just said that he could do with a little growing!" and looked towards the dolmen. Grobelix's weapon twitched as the bronze coin dropped and gently holding Canix in his hands he said "Canix, if you're a brave dog, you'll get a bone!" Canix barked happily as Grobelix stood up, "If you're very brave" he added "you'll get a very big bone". Canix barked again, wagging his tail. "If you're an incredibly brave dog, you'll get ten big bones" said Grobelix, as he placed Canix on top of the dolmen. By now Canix was yapping with joy. "And if you're the dog that I know you're going to be" smiled Grobelix, "then you'll get a hundred big bones" and as he hailed the thunder god, a bolt of lighting hit Canix. As it did, the dog's barks become louder and deeper, a and then suddenly, three more lighting bolts emerged, two headed straight for Paxsterix's and Grobelix's weapons and as they slumped to the ground, screaming in agony, the third one headed away from the forest finding it's target.

***

"No, No" begged Minimus as Brachius made a grab for him, "I...." and then he screamed as a lighting bolt hit him. As he grew again he soon towered over the Maximus brothers and Summerbonus who was the first to feel his ire. "SURRENDER" he roared, "TO THE MIGHT OF THE TRUE ROMAN ARMY" and with that he grabbed the helmet from Summerbonus and punched him so hard he flew out of the tent. Minimus now turned his attention to the brothers who were now quaking in their sandals. He placed the helmet on his head and roared "HAIL YOUR NEW COMMANDER" and with that he grabbed the two men under his arms and started to squeeze. "ACKNOWLEDGE ME AS YOUR LEADER AND I'LL MAKE YOU MY OPTIO AND DECURION!". As he squeezed his weapon hardened again and faced with the envietable, both men yielded. "Your first order of command" bellowed Minimus, as he began to leak from his weapon, "is to bring everyone here and let them feed from the god of power!"

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God Minimus really has a problem. XD lol A little too much of thebpower going to his head in the bad way. xD lol

I do wonder how this will all end. XD lol Will Minimus be swayed to go to the Gaulic ways and all. xD lol

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Part Four

The Roman historian, Tacitus, had often mentioned that the Roman armies especially when seeking volunteers expressed "little enthusiam and a lot of Latin" so as the Maximus brothers rounded up the whole camp and Minimus walked from the centurion's tent bellowing "I HAVE BEEN ENDOWED WITH THE POWER OF JUPITER. WHO WILL BE THE FIRST TO EXPERIENCE MY POWER?" Tacitus's description came true as a large amount of Latin was heard and no one came forward. Minimus was not impressed and grabbed Pectoralis and dragged him back inside the tent. Brachius was about to go in when his brother's screams of agony were heard, followed by a silence and then the brother staggered out and collapsed into Brachius's arms.

"He..." he gasped, before his eyes opened wide and he started to grow. Within moments he stood over his brother by as much again and roared "THE ROMAN GOD SPEAKS THE TRUTH" and with that flung Brachius in and a few moments later he emerged and underwent the same transformation. Every legionary present gasped as the two men now bigger and stronger than anyone in the world roared "WHO'S NEXT?" and with that the camp advanced, one at a time, into the tent. By the time the sun was high in the sky, every legionary was now naked, as powerful as Jupiter himself and being addressed by their new leader.

"For years" Minimus roared, standing on top of a plinth, "those Gauls have made fun of us. Now, the gods have turned in our favour. Let us go and raze that village to the ground, then all of Gaul will be conquered". As the garrison cheered, Minimus chortled. "But, my followers, we are not going to stop there. We shall conquer all of Gaul, Hispania even Germania and then, then, we shall march on Rome and I shall become leader of the WORLD! WHO IS WITH ME?"

Everyone in the camp hailed their new leader shouting "Hail! We, the future rulers of Rome, salute you!"

***

As Pasterix and Grobelix moaned, their weapons spilling the contents of their engorged sacs over the ground, both men held the other by the shoulder and stared at themselves. If they had been supermen before, now they were beyond even that. They were even beyond the gods who had turned them into what Paxsterix could only describe as "Living Muscle!" but as they began to realise what they had now become, they swore that neither would abandon the other, neither would ever let down the other and that neither of them would ever forget what had happened to them. As they continued to drink in their new size, strength and sheer power, Paxsterix said "Grobelix, I..." and then paused. "Yes?" came the reply and Paxsterix continued saying "We have been friends for the best part of forty years. I can remember to this day when you fell into the potion brewed by our druid that made you become so big and strong and muscular. Ever since that day, I have dreamed of being as strong and now I am I feel I can be honest with you".

"Honest?" said Grobelix and chuckled, "My friend you can be honest with me anytime!" and with that he pondered what his friend was on about. His thoughts disturbed by a loud RUFF and as he looked down his face beamed. There next to him, was his pet dog Canix, although the dog no longer resembled the small puppy that he adopted. Canix was now a hulking beast of a dog who stood there with an expression that resembled constant anger but as Paxsterix tickled the dog under his chin, his tail started to wag and a toothy smile spread across his face followed by a very large lick followed by a growl that was so loud it sounded like the combined roar of a whole mass of men about to unload themselves.

"Who's a good dog, eh?" smiled Paxsterix as he stroked the dog but Grobelix wasn't sure as he too could hear the sound, but almost as if it was some way away. As he strained to listen, Paxsterix said "I'll take a look" and with that bent down and then jumped, Grobelix watched as his friend soared into the highest branches of the forest and then disappeared from sight. A few moments later he heard a voice.

"Romans!" Paxsterix declared, "hundreds of big, strong, muscular Romans, heading towards our village!"

This is the end of the comic strip that was originally posted and therefore would like to know should I wait until the strip continues or carry on in a similar vein?

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