Omeganomicon

m/m/f Tales from the Omeganomicon: Weed has more protein than Eggs

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Omeganomicon

This story is a branch off of one of my previous works: Week of the Omeganomicon, which is the story of a mysterious tomb that can imbue supernatural strength into its users through a variety of odd rituals, more often than not at a terrible cost. Read up on that here! 

https://muscle-growth.org/topic/18845-week-of-the-omeganomicon-finished/page/2/?tab=comments#comment-255809

 

 

April 1st 2020: 

 

Sammy kicked his feet up onto the kush-covered table as he passed the freshly rolled cigar-thick blunt to his roommate Benny. Despite the pandemic, the three roommates managed to harvest three pounds of home-grown Mary Jane over the course of five years to save for this month. It was 4/20, every day, for a month. And come hell or high water, Benny, Sammy, and Matt were going to spend it blitzed. 

 

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Sammy was a 22 year old scrawny kid in his senior year of highschool (highschool extends an extra 4 years in this reality) who had a hidden talent of being able to grow weed out of anything with soil and water. Shoes, broken toasters, his bathtub, you name it. He was thin as a stick, only 110lbs of skin and bones. 

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Benny was a chunkier 20 year old 14th grader whom had an incredible passion into researching the various religions, cults, and supernatural rituals of the world. He's 233lbs of mostly fat on a fairly small frame. 

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Matt, the third roommate, was about to walk through the door into the apartment coming back in after a run. Matt was a good friend to Sammy and Benny, but he was massively more motivated to maintain a healthy outlook on life. At 21 years old he was a resounding 180lbs of evenly cut, toned muscle, large biceps, thick legs, his only visible flaw was his less-than-flat stomach which were on their way to developing washboard abs,. but not quite there yet. 

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"Yo! My man! How was the gym Matt?" Sammy asked him through a thick fog of smoke. 

"Perfect, I love that everyone went home! I pretty much get my own personal gym now!" Matt replied. 

"I'm amazed the complex didn't shut it down considering the outbreak north of here..."  Benny commented. 


Matt always felt bad about Benny's health. He had gone through some shit that led him to a low point in his life, causing him to go into a series of binges that put on the pounds that plagued Benny now. So, Matt always invited Benny to the gym at the start of the year, which he took him up on and was making great progress, until the covid-19 outbreak.... With public gyms closing down across the nation, and knowing Benny was at higher risk than Matt due to his asthma, Benny refused to continue their usual workouts, but still does push-up contests with Matt and Sammy in the apartment. 

 

Suddenly, as Matt took his first few puffs, there was a knock at the door. 

The three roommates froze. Was this it? Was this the day the police showed up and would drag the three of them off for all the weed grown for the three's personal use? 
There was a long pause. 

 

Eventually, like Johnny Depp in Fear and Loathing, Sammy approached the door with the stick, still cooking held between his teeth as he opened the door, flinging it open all at once, fully prepared to die at the hands of some random cop, rather than be sent to prison. 

 

No one was there. 

 

At his feet, were three boxes, with a note on top thanking the three for using contact-less delivery. 

The three started to bend over laughing at their own paranoia. 

 

"Of course this happens on April fools day! HA!" Matt laughs. 

"What is all this? Lets see...." Benny said as he picked up the final package Sammy couldn't from the hall, locking the door behind him. 

"I've got that experimental protein powder for Matt, annnnd some kind of textbook for you Benny. That must be my fertilizer then Benny." 

Matt perked up at this. 

"Oh shit, I've been waiting for this! Check it out." Matt said showing the label to Sammy. 

"Monstromium XXX Growth Hormone". I found this weird ad online a few weeks ago when I ordered this. It says it's derived from plants in the amazon and can offer 100 grams of protein in a single serving. That's insane! What I use now only gets me 25g. I'm going to start getting massive here pretty soon. 

Sammy was greatly concerned by this story. "Uhh... I'd be careful with that dude, you dont want to end up growing tits or something from that. Can't trust just some internet ad." 

Matt seemed to understand, but still wanted to utilize his purchase. "Ill just use a quarter serving with my next workout, can't do too much harm can it?" 

Sammy had received some fertilizer from amazon called "Megagrow" Maximum Growth Formula, which he immediately portioned out all of it to feed to his various strands. 

 

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Benny was running over his book at the time. It was an odd thick textbook with the words "Omeganomicon" written on the front in strange symbols. As he opened the book to a random page, he saw it depicted strange and very sexual images for many of the rituals, so to save face from his roommates, he hid the book and retired to his room to read it. 

 

Later that night, Benny read the 414th page of his book, which was filled with a mixture of strange symbols and odd handwritten descriptions of various rituals and artifacts that could bring blessings from various fertility gods, and conduct a strange power called "Alphabetrium" into the body that appeared to ascend one to a stronger form. He chuckled to himself, and put in a bookmark to continue to the read the next day. 

 

April 2nd 2020: 

 

Matt returned from the gym again the following day, to be greeted again by his roommates happy to share in their homegrown hemp. 

The three sat around enjoying  the first half of the blunt when the front door unlocks and opens. 

"WHAT UP BITCHES!" Roars the obnoxiously loud voice of the trio's fourth roommate, Fred. 

 

Fred was... not a pleasant sight to see. He was the biggest douchebag on the planet and all three of the guys hated his guts. Fred was only 19 years old, but he was spoiled rotten by his wealthy family. Not being too bright, Fred was a total meat head whom had become addicted to steroids, methamphetamine, cocaine, alcohol, and xanex. Nothing seemed to be able to kill this jackass, yet he still felt high and mighty about not smoking weed, claiming it's only used by "lazy ass mexicans". None the less, Fred was a gorgeous specimen. A massive hulk at 250lbs of raw muscle, perfect jaw, and as he often wore nothing but his under-highschool wrestling singlet (two sizes too small), was not shy about flopping his monster dong around either. 

henrycavbsc.tumblr.com - Tumbex

 

Fred had gone home for Covid, and expected to not come back, but apparently due to his parents being unwilling to buy him out of his current lease due to not believing the disease wasn't a hoax. Fred of course didn't believe in it either, and still went to various parties across the city every other night. This was about as unpleasant as events could possibly create for the boys. 

 

"Oh... Whats up Fred..." Sammy said sheepishly. 

"THE FUCK YOU SAY?!?!" Fred responded as he squared up in front of Sammy who refused to leave the comfort of the couch. 

"I asked what's up with you?" Sammy said again. 

"THEN SPEAK UP TWERP!" Fred said again, pulling the blunt out his mouth and flicking it off the balcony into a storm drain below. 

"STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT SALLY! IT'S BAD FOR YOU!" He said as forcefully as he could.  Sammy meanwhile biting his lip as he mourned the loss of 3 grams to the biggest douche on the planet. 

Fred quickly through what he was carrying into his room and went into the pantry where he found Matt's Growth Hormones. 
"Yo. Who's are these?" Fred asked. 

Matt perked up "They're mine, I got them yesterday, I was just about to..." 

"Damn. Fuck dude 100 Gs of Brotein? That's a lot bro! Yeah that's way too much for your tiny bod, I'll just take this off you..." He said as he tossed the protein powder into his room. 

"You can have the stuff my dad got for me. It's just as good for you." He said as he handed Matt a packet of 5 nature valley protein bars. 


Matt was angry. "Dude, no, give me my stuff back. I paid good money for that." 

Fred's face froze in anger. "You disrespecting me boy?" 

Matt was put off by this but didn't back down. With one fail swoop Fred smashed Matt into the floor and started choking him violently. 

Benny and Sammy rushed over to try and pull the roided asshole off their friend, and managed to get his hands off his neck, but took an absolute beating from Fred. 

"Alright bitchasses, here's how this is going to work. I'm gonna take Minny here into my backroom, and if I hear one word from either of you, I'll have the police here faster than you can say "I'm sorry Master Freddy!, then I'll kill him, and my dad will bail me out leaving you guys to take the fall". 


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Sammy and Benny were shocked and frozen. Matt looked at them and bit his lip. "It's ok guys. Just leave me to him... Don't ruin your lives too..." he said sheepishly with a black eye as he crawled into Fred's room.

What happened next was emotionally scarring for all three as Benny and Sammy listened to the anguish cries of their roommate being force fed a Fred-Sausage for a mere five minutes.(Thank god Fred had no stamina or self control) 

Fred then announced he'd be at his dad's personal club for the rest of the night and left with a monster boner trying its hardest to poke out of his singlet's pants leg. 

Battle of the Bulge...

 

When Matt emerged Sammy fixed him up with a nice big bong, which in no way atoned for the sexual horror Matt was just forced through, but Sammy couldn't think of anything else to do. 

"I say we call the police on him" Benny suggested. 

"We can't prosecute him, he'll still be out living his fucked up life well after we've blown our brains out going into debt just trying to fight his dad's lawyers." Matt  said. 

"I say we kill his ass. Fuck him. The world's better off without him, we can even make it look like a drug overdose." Sammy suggested darkly. 

 "I wouldn't be OK with that either Sammy, either me or Benny would crack, and don't say you wouldn't either." Matt replied. 

"Lets just kick his ass then! Or hire someone to kick his ass." Benny offered. 

"We can't take him, and there's no guarantee whatever we offer someone else, he won't match or even double." Matt cried as he buried his head in his arms. 

"Shit man... I fucking hate that guy..." Sammy said fighting back tears. 

"I mean there's got to be a social service or something we can call to get rid of this bastard!" Benny wailed. 

"WE CAN'T DO ANYTHING TO HIM BENNY! HE'LL ONLY FUCK OUR LIVES UP PERMANENTLY... We just gotta... Hope he gets bored with us" Matt shouted as he stormed off to his room to cry to himself. 

 

That night, Benny picked up the Omeganomicon and began turning through to his bookmarked spot to try and keep his mind off things. He thought about the events of that night and the protein Fred stole and silently thanked god that he didn't live in a world where these rituals were real, as Fred was the perfect candidate to grow to monstrous proportions and would likely use his newfound size to make their lives and likely the lives of many others even worse than he does now. This scared him more than anything else as the thoughts of that monster growing any larger filled his mind. 

Love Huge Muscles


Then Benny turned to page 420. 

The page marked the start of a new chapter, "Miracle Products and their Unintended uses". And right under the index? A mysterious product known as "MegaGrow Maximum Growth Formula". 

At first Benny recognized the name, but couldn't pin where he heard it before. Yet his familarity piqued his interest and he read on. 

 

"The mysterious MegaGrow Maximum Growth Formula is a rare muscle enhancer who's properties are not fully realized even through the extensive studies of our sources. The product appears to be able to flood a host organism with primal Alphoria, which when implemented into a host and exposed to energy, releases raw Alphabetrium into the surrounding area. Human trials with this substance allows the infected human to transfer their strength with a 100% conversion rate when consumed through cannibalism. It takes roughly three hours for any host to absorb the formula." 

 

From there on the book began to discuss something called a "Porcelain Porcupine" which seemed completely unrelated.  

 

Parched, Benny headed to the kitchen sink for a glass of water, when he catches a glance of the kitchen trash, spying the exact container illustrated in the book as Sammy's fertilizer. 

Benny is suddenly shell shocked, and drops his glass in realization. 

Sammy comes storming out of his room and asks Benny angrily: "Were you spying on me?" 

Benny was confused "What no? Why? I just dropped my glass because I think this fertilizer you got is the same one from my book..." 

Sammy stares at Benny with an amazed look before saying "Well... I suppose being a weird demon fertilizer would explain a lot... Come look at this man..." 

 

Sammy was always good at growing weed, but even the most skilled herbologist is limited by the genetics of the plant he's working with. Yet somehow, the normal strand of "Northern Gelato" was now almost completely purple, and glowing. 

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End of Part 1! 

Stay tuned for more! 

 

April 3rd 2020: 

 

 

"You find anything on that formula yet Benny?" Asked Sammy as he twirled a nugget of the purple plant in his hands. 

"Nothing. I can't find anything about this stuff. Where'd you even order this from dude?" 

"You remember Mike? That jacked dude with the bad bitch we smoked up a few weeks ago? He sent some to me because he couldn't match." 

"Well.... Fuck dude. Outside of my book, this product doesn't fucking exist. Google, Amazon, I've even dipped my toes into the darkweb and can't find anything." 

A text went off in Benny's pocket which caused Benny to retrieve his keys from the wall and throw them down to Matt outside. 

"What happened to your keys dude?" Sammy asked as Matt got up to the apartment. 

"Fucking Fred hooked my keyring onto his new cockring and started wearing it around. Said he'd give em back when I could remove them with my tongue." 

"The keyring actively fit alongside his dick in that?" 

"It was like stretchy plastic or some shit, still I don't know how it's not constantly agonizing him. I don't think he has any feeling left in his dick." Matt said defeated. 

"Fuck that dude man... Eh... Metaphorically I mean...." Sammy said with his fists balled in anger. 

"Look he said he'd be gone for the next few days so while I'm not able to use my car, we at least can get some peace and quiet without him..." Matt replied. 

"Yo dude, check this out though." Benny said holding the Omeganomicon open to the relevant page. 

"Whats this?" 

"It's that fertilizer Sammy got the other day. I found the exact depiction of it in my book, and afterwards, we looked online, and we can't find this shit anywhere. It's weird dude, it's like it doesn't exist." 

Matt looked puzzled and replied: "Wait a minute... That's what I ORDERED!?" 

"Huh?" the two roommates said in unison. 

"THAT'S the muscle formula I purchased, I told you it's super rare! I must have mixed up the names of the two packages because I ordered it while high... But I totally requested THAT logo." 

"So.... THIS is the super protein powder?" Sammy said. 

Matt nodded his head. "One hundred percent sure of that now." 

"Wait then that stuff Fred stole from you was...." 

 

.   .   . 

 

 

"The Fertilizer."

BUAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! The three burst into laughter. 
 

"EAT SHIT YOU ENTITLED BASTARD!" Matt yelled as he flipped off Fred's locked door. 

"Ahh.... Damn, sorry man. I guess I fed your protein shit to my babies." 

"No worries man, that was not lost for nothing! Not by a long shot!" 

"I guess the reason my strand decided to go super-Sayan was because of the protein powder." 

"Wait what?"  

"Yeah, today's harvest was straight purple. Like no green AT ALL. It's honestly insane. We're about to roll one up, you down?" 

"Hell yeah!" 

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After a quick rolling session, Sammy had constructed another fantastic 3-gram blunt, a third of which was from the super-plant. 

Now, as is tradition with any smoking session, he whom rolled it, gets the first hit. Once his hit is complete, a sort of mini-game will occur at the roller's leisure and specifications to decide whom would hit it next. Sammy, today, relied on the popular game of "Nose goes" to determine whom would claim the second hit. 

Without hesitation, Benny put his finger to his nose while Matt dropped his protein bar in the confusion. Sammy smiled, took a final drag from the herb, and passed it to Benny. 

However, as Benny finished toting the piece, the door unlocked again, and once again, Fred waltzed in carrying a cooler full of Natural Lights. 

Without saying a word after putting down the cooler, Fred walked over to the group, grabbed the blunt from Benny's fingers and chucked it outside. 

"WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SMOKING THAT SHIT?!" He bellowed as he swayed from side to side, clearly drunk. 

"You little bitches will thank me for that one day." 

He then sat down on the couch (taking up the whole thing himself) and turned on ESPN (no one else in the house liked sports). 

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The three then retreated to their rooms for the night and conversed over text message: 

 

"I thought u said he was going 2 be gone 4 the next few days?" 

"He was soposed 2 be! X( " 

"We need to start learning how to hide the blunt somehow." 

"Hey matt, I know you didn't get any of that, but if u want we can hotbox my b-room." 

"I don't want 2 risk meeting Fred drunk..." 

"Understandable, guess I'll see you in the morning" 

 

The three boys would then spend the rest of the night un-interrupted in their beds, as two of them began undergoing a change they wouldn't believe. 

April 4th 2020: 

 

Benny awoke incredibly sluggishly, as per usual, but soon after checking his phone for a few minutes, he got the uncontrollable urge to, ah, answer the call of the wild. Faster than he'd ever moved before he ran to his toilet. For the next hour and a half, poor Benny felt as if he were giving birth to a giant baby, requiring multiple flushes just to avoid clogging the toilet. 

It was hell for him. And as he finally finished, he vowed to do something about his weight, he'd never had this much of an issue with bowel movements before but....

He paused mid-thought as he spotted himself in his mirror. 

 

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"What the fuck?" He said to himself. 

He got onto his bathroom scale and looked down at it. 

175. 

Benny looked around the room in shock. 

"I lost nearly 60lbs overnight? How the.... What the..." 

But then he noticed a smile creep over his face as his fingers began running themselves over his now much sexier body before he jacked it to his own reflection... A few times... 

At about 10:00, he heard someone in the main room loading up a cooler. Must have been Fred. Then heard the door slam. 

Benny poked his head out and looked down the hall, and at the same time was met with a similar look from Sammy poking his head out his window. 

"Dude... Is Fred gone?" Benny mouthed. 

"Yeah I think that was him." Sammy said loudly, awaking Matt whom would join them after a few minutes. 

"Dude... I have got to tell you about what's happening to me this morning." Benny stated as he pulled his gym shorts up. 

"Uh... Me too man." Sammy responded. 

As the two stepped out into the hall together, they each looked at each other in awe. 
 

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"DUDE." Sammy replied. 

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"DUDE." Benny replied. 

 

Sammy had also undergone a similar change as Benny had. He was no longer a twerpy scrawny guy, he was lean muscle with well defined pectorals, weighing in at 170 lbs. 

 

The two look at each other in silence and start to poke each other and themselves to see if this was real. Eventually, Matt walked in from his room and stopped dead in his tracks on sight of them. 

 

"What the fuck happened to you two?!?" He said both impressed and enviously. 

"We... We don't know. All I know is that when I woke up this morning I had munchies so bad I ate every last scrap of food from my fridge and I'm STILL hungry." Sammy answered. 

"Not me, I was so full I spent the last hour and a half almost continuously shitting." Benny said. 

Matt looked at the both of them. "You both look fucking great! I don't even see any stretch marks from that fat Benny had yesterday! And you look like a fucking G Sammy! I've never even seen you do a push up, but now it looks like you can take on MMA fighters!" 

"Its... A supernatural improvement..." Sammy said slowly, turning towards Benny. 

"You don't think it was the weed that did this to us do you?" Benny asked. 

Sammy raised an eyebrow. 

"Hmmm.... A mysterious protein powder that we can only find record of in your occult book was used to fertilize my plants, causing them to develop into super-weed almost overnight, which only me and you, the two whom have turned pretty much superhuman, consumed. Yes Benny. I think it's safe to say it was the weed that did this." 

Matt stood in awe for a few more minutes before turning to Sammy. 

"Do... Do you have any more of this shit?"  

Sammy's eyes perked up. "As a matter of fact. I do. This new strand seems to grow by itself practically overnight." 

As his two roommates waited, eyes wide in anticipation, Sammy packed a 4 Gram blunt full of what he was now calling: "Fatha Nature", took a puff, and passed it to Matt. 

Alright boys... Lets get high. 

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End of Part 2! Part 3 coming soon!

Edited by Omeganomicon
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