m/m Deano's Summer: A Muscle University Story

[BrzNLA]

3 minutes ago, muscleaddict said:

Agreed - they're amazing aren't they, mate?  Glad you're liking the Twitter profile!  I'm definitely having fun with that. Kinda wish I'd done it for Woody when I shared Muscle University. 

Yeah, that would have been fun!

[DennisFLL]

On 6/14/2020 at 9:17 AM, muscleaddict said:

I'll write an AJ & Noah sequel for 20 grand and nothing less. 

With my huge pool of very wealthy AJ & Noah fans I'm having a small problem raising the fair amount you request.  So, how much for AJ and Noah having one conversation with Deano when they meet at the London bodybuilding expo? 

[muscleaddict]

1 hour ago, DennisFLL said:

With my huge pool of very wealthy AJ & Noah fans I'm having a small problem raising the fair amount you request.  So, how much for AJ and Noah having one conversation with Deano when they meet at the London bodybuilding expo? 

Haha - well I've mentioned here before about the idea of writing something for fun where the characters from AJ & Noah and MU would meet. Even if they're just fantasy scenarios. Maybe when this story is finished I'll knock something up. 

[muscleaddict]

Eight

I can’t stop thinking about checking Instagram. I keep looking at the app icon on my phone. Hovering my finger over it. Ever since Ryan called me by my pocket rocket nickname and told me he’d looked at my profile the other day on the drive to Portsmouth. 

I keep wondering if he’s replied to the, “Looking pretty mint, mate!” comment I left on that one post of his. The one with the crab most muscular shot. Or if he’s maybe commented on any of my pics. Or even just liked any of them. And I also keep wondering whether he’s posted anything new. Plus, well, I wouldn’t mind checking out his stage shots again. His bulging biceps. His erupting triceps. That cheeky, handsome grin. Those thick, shredded glutes. Fucking hell those glutes.

I almost can’t believe he’s competing at that expo in London next weekend. That explains why he’s so fucking jacked and tanned. I keep thinking about when he invited me to watch him compete. It’s on in the evening though and I’m not really sure whether Big Steve was planning to stay that long. I should find out I guess.

I looked up at that Goonies film he was going on about. I watched a video of that Truffle Shuffle thing on YouTube, which is basically a fat kid shaking and wobbling his belly fat while pulling a funny face. I’m not exactly sure how Ryan would do that with those big blocky abs of his. I almost went to look for the film on Netflix too, then suddenly thought, 'What the fuck am I doing?' and stopped. 

I look at the Instagram app on my phone again. Hover my finger over it (again). For fuck’s sake. All of this because I’m scared to see Woody and Henderson again. In case it does the same thing to me as it did last week. In case I end up getting hammered on a work night and snogging some guy I don’t even really fancy in a gay club again. 

God - I’d bet they’d fucking love it if they knew I’d ended up in that club when I was drunk. I bet they’d fucking gloat. Okay - maybe not Henderson. But Woody definitely would.

I’ve thought about just unfollowing them before, but I don’t want them to feel like they’ve got one over on me. To think of me as being pathetic and immature for unfollowing them. Even though we’re not friends. Even though we never really were friends. I sometimes think we could have been. If Woody didn’t look the way he did. And I didn’t have all these feelings. And the other thing is - if I unfollow them, then regret it and follow them again they’ll know straight away. The notification will come up. Deano The Pocket Rocket followed you. And then I’ll just look like an absolute fucking twat.

My brother pops his head round my bedroom door. “Yo, lil’ broski. You ready?”

My chest tightens. I’m not ready, but I sigh and stand up from my bed. “Suppose!”

Josh smirks at me as I stand up from my bed and grab my wallet. Today’s the day I’m seeing mum with Josh. We’re going for a pub lunch. Jesus. I just know what she's gonna be like. All chatty and extra nice. Like everything’s normal. Like she hasn’t done anything wrong.

And, as predicted, that’s exactly what she’s like. Right from the moment we see her outside the bar. Joshua walks up and hugs her, her arms squeezed around his back. My stomach twists sharply at the image. I can’t remember the last time my mum hugged me.

And now she’s smiling at me. This part nervous, part happy smile. “You okay, Dean?”

I don’t know what to say. I just give her a half-arsed smile and pretend to be nice. Josh rolls his eyes at me behind mum’s back and then gives me a warning look. I’m not really sure why though. I agreed to go to lunch with my mum. But I don’t remember agreeing to be civil to her.

Not long after and the three of us are sitting at a table. Mum and Josh are opposite me. Which feels kinda fitting. Them together on one side. Me on the other by myself. The waitress comes with my beer. I might as well get a couple of free drinks out of my mum while I have the chance.

“So you’re working at your dad’s gym over the summer?”

“Mmm-hmm,” I say, not looking at my mum and taking a swig of beer.

“You still looking for a job somewhere else?” Josh asks me. “D said he was gonna apply to Tesco’s.”

“No, I didn’t!” I scoff. “Dad was the one who mentioned Tesco’s!”

“Sounds like a plan,” my mum says, way too eagerly.

I screw my face up. “Working at Tesco’s?”

I pick up my pint glass. “Why the fuck would I wanna do that?” I scoff, before taking another sip.

Josh is glaring at me and shaking his head slowly behind my mum. She can’t say anything to me though. About swearing. About anything. She lost that right years ago. I can pretty much act however I want.

And now she’s asking Joshua about his building job. Nice diversion tactics, mum. I guess she’s good at that. Diverting. Avoiding. Running out on her family.

She pretty much leaves me alone when we’re eating. She mentions Gary’s daughter, Chloe a few times which pisses me off. Josh is all over her. Acting like she’s a fucking saint. Acting like she didn’t let us down at Christmas like she did when we were younger. 

“How was your burger, Dean?” she asks as the waitress takes my plate away.

I shrug without looking at her. “Was alright!” I say getting my phone out of my pocket.

Joshua lets out a loud, pointed sigh. I look up and glare at him. Cheeky fucking bastard. He shakes his head and asks mum to move so he can go to the toilet.

And now it’s just me and her. God. More awkwardness.

She looks at me and sighs. “Dean - I know you’re still mad at me for not coming round at Christmas!”

I don’t know what to say. I look out of the window of the bar.

“I was so behind on everything. It was just manic. With work. And shopping for Chloe.”

ARGH! Bloody Chloe. Gary’s daughter. Who isn’t even hers!

“We had to go and see Gary’s mum on Christmas Eve!” she sighs. “She’s not well, Deano. She’s got dementia. His dad’s put her in her home.”

I feel a stab of guilt at hearing that. I look up at her and see an expression in her face which makes my stomach twist. “Why didn’t you just text us?”

She sighs. “Because … I was nervous about letting you down. Again! I remembered how you were that one Christmas I didn’t come round!” She scratches her forehead a little too hard. Like she’s beating herself up. “I had a feeling you’d be angry at me. I guess I just … wanted to delay the inevitable. You being upset with me. I didn’t wanna ruin Christmas.”

YOUR Christmas, I think. But I don’t say it.

She sighs. “You are … SO bloody headstrong. And stubborn. Just like your dad!”

I don’t say anything. I look at the table, playing with the inside of my mouth with my tongue. Just like my dad.

She clears her throat. “So, how have things been at university?”

My stomach tightens. I look at her and shrug. “Fine?”

She nods, looking a little unsure all of a sudden. “Just … I know you had a bit of trouble. Just before Easter.”

I don’t believe this. My chest tightens.

“Are you fucking SERIOUS?”

My mum looks taken aback. And hurt. Joshua comes back to the table. “What’s going on?!” he asks accusingly, clearly noticing mum’s expression. Then he gives me this stern look. Like I’M THE FUCKING BAD GUY.

“It’s okay, Josh!” my mum says, putting her hand on his forearm. UGH!

“What have you said, D?” 

ARGH!! My stomach’s twisting. I can not fucking believe this. I feel like standing up and storming out of the bar. Instead, I just turn to Josh and put on a sarcastic tone. “Mum was just asking me about getting suspended from uni. Although I don’t know how she’d even know, been as I haven’t seen her for ages!”

Josh pulls a face. “Yeah because YOU’VE been ignoring her. Anyway, why wouldn’t she know? She’s your mum!”

I scoff. “When it suits her!”

“D!” Josh says, his voice rising.

“It’s okay, Josh!”

“No, it’s not. For God’s sake, Deano - just GROW UP!”

I feel an anger rising up in my chest. I can’t believe my brother’s being like this.

“Mum didn’t come round on Christmas Eve ‘cause she was busy. So what? She has a life. And we’re not kids any more! Jesus!”

Surely he knows that’s not just it? Surely he knows there’s more to it?

“And it was MONTHS ago. And you DID get suspended from uni. I don’t know why you keep getting so worked up every time someone mentions it!”

“Josh!” my mum says, in a warning tone. And then she gives me this concerned look. The way she’s looked at me so many times. When she knows something’s wrong. Which she always does. Because she’s my mum. I turn and look out of the window again. Fucking hell. I can’t do this.

“I’m sorry I asked about uni, Dean,” my mum says. “Let’s talk about something else!”

I pick up my pint glass and chug. I feel so fucking angry. At mum. And Josh. Why isn’t anyone ever on MY side? Why can’t anyone ever see things from my point of view? Why does it always feel like people are determined to fight against me?

Josh is talking about a job he’s working on. I put my pint glass down and without looking at either him or mum, I stand up and walk away from the table and towards the door of the bar.

“Fuckin’ hell! D!” Josh shouts after me. But I just keep walking. I just want to get away. Anywhere from fucking here. To any place that doesn't include my shit mum and my brother who should be on my side but never is.

I end up on the beach. I’m just sat here with my forearms resting on my knees looking at the wreckage of the burnt West Pier. I used to see this pier all the time when I was a kid, and I never questioned what happened to it. I just saw it for what it was. Never thinking about the reason why it looked the way it did. 

I’m feeling a bit calmer. Maybe I shouldn’t have walked out. But I was SO pissed off. I can’t believe my mum tried to talk to me about getting suspended from uni. Like I’d open up to her after hardly seeing or speaking to her for fucking months. 

And I can’t believe Josh. Doesn’t he get that I don’t wanna talk about being suspended? About what I did? And now my dad’s gonna be pissed at me for walking out. He’ll probably make me work five days a week instead of three. Probably make me work in the Juice Bar all day. Ban me from the gym floor. I’ll barely see Ryan North. Or any of the other lads who work there.

I take my phone out of my pocket. I don’t know why, but I feel ready to check Instagram again. To take the plunge. My chest tightens as I open up the app. No Woody in the first post. No Henderson either. I’ve got tons of notifications. From lads at uni. From Tony. From a bunch of random users, I don’t know. And from Ryan North PT. Fuck. I feel an odd jolt of excitement. Because Ryan has followed me. He’s liked the comment I left on his profile. And he’s replied. “Cheers big/little fella!” with the winky face tongue out emoji. Cheeky fucker! But I’m smiling. I can’t seem to stop. 

And now I’m on Ryan’s page again. Looking at a recent picture of him flexing a most muscular in a pair of (ugh!) shiny light blue posers in what I presume is his house. A basket full of washing next to him. Jesus. He’s so conditioned! Lines in his quads. Awesome sweeps. White socks pulled up to his calves. (Why is even THAT kind of hot?) Big blocky abs popping through his stomach. Those huge bulging biceps like croquet balls, flexed. Those triceps sticking out. The thick pecs which are popping and balloon-like. And (of course) that face. That stupidly good looking face which weirdly gets even more stupidly good looking every time I see it. That big cheeky grin. And the hair which is like mine (only better). It’s crazy to think that I was sat next to this dude the other day in the passenger seat of his car. And all of THAT was going on under his clothes. 

I like the post. And type a comment.

That is one jacked secret nerd! #heyyouguuuys

But I stop myself from hitting send. Is that just a really dumb thing to write? Would he find it even remotely funny? I’m not good with the Instagram stuff like Woody is. Fuck it. I hit send and the comment has been posted. 

I close down the app before I see something I don’t want to, stand up and head home. I suppose I’d better go and face my dad and his bulging forehead vein. I hope we didn’t get any post today.

My stomach clenches as I walk through the door. Things are pretty quiet. Maybe my dad doesn’t know. Maybe Josh hasn’t come home yet. But as soon as I walk into the kitchen and see my dad looking at me, I know he knows. But it’s not the reaction I was expecting. It’s not an angry look. It’s more of a tired ‘what are we gonna do with you’ look. 

“Nice lunch?” he says sarcastically, his eyes widening.

I roll my eyes and sit down opposite him.

“Where’s Josh?”

“Upstairs!” He breathes a deep sigh. “‘Kin ‘ell, Deano!” he says, calmly and shaking his head. 

“You didn’t say I had to stay till the end of lunch,” I say.

He gives me a stern look in response, but he doesn’t seem that pissed off. I swear I can even see a hint of a smirk.

“What happened?”

I shrug and look at the table instead of my dad. “She was asking me about uni! Getting suspended!”

“AND?”

I scoff. “Just … pissed me off! Like she cares!”

“Of course she bloody cares! She’s your mum.”

“And she’s always going on about Gary’s daughter!”

“Oh, Deano. Come on!” my dad says, like I’m being stupid.

“What?”

“You’re her bloody son! You think if I shacked up with a new woman who had kids they’d … Jesus … even be able to COMPARE to you and your brother?”

I don’t say anything.

He lets out a deep sigh. “You never forgave her did you?”

I look up at my dad, my stomach twisting.

“For walking out?” he adds.

“Did YOU?”

“Yes. Eventually! But she was my wife. Not my mother.”

I look out of the window at the back of the kitchen and into the garden. I suddenly have a memory of me and Josh bouncing on a trampoline we used to have. Mum standing next to it and holding both of my hands as I bounced up and down, because I was nervous of falling over. Whereas Josh was completely fearless. But I knew I’d be safe because my mum was gripping me tight. And she was smiling at me. This big happy smile.

And I know my dad is right. That I never really have forgiven her for leaving. The thing is, I was always my mum’s favourite when we were kids. I was mum’s. Josh’s was dad’s. That’s just the way it was. I was her “little Deanosaurus” as she used to call me. I loved my mum. Like all kids do I guess. And she always knew when I was upset. Always knew when something was wrong. She always gave me that look. The same look she gave me today when I was sat opposite her in the bar and she was asking me about getting suspended from uni. But then, one day, she fucking left. She just left! How am I supposed to forgive her for that?

“Your mum’s trying, Deano,” my dad says. “And I don’t think she’s gonna stop.”

I don’t know what to say. I keep looking down at the table. Rolling my tongue around the inside of my mouth. And then I finally speak. 

“Have you ever seen that film ... The Goonies?”

I look up at my dad. His face is screwed up in confusion. “What the bloody hell kind of question is THAT?”

I smile and shake my head. “Doesn’t matter!”

I go up to my room, hoping my brother doesn’t come out of his. I’m really not in the mood to deal with him right now.

I jump on my bed with my phone and load up the Instagram app, feeling that familiar dread I always do, though it seems to be lessening a little each time. I have new notifications. And now I’m smiling. Because one is from Ryan. He’s responded to my secret nerd comment. Fuck. I feel ridiculously excited as I read it.

HAHAHA!! Cheeky little/big shit. Fully admit to being a nerd. Now it’s YOUR turn to make a confession! (Thinking face emoji and smirking face emoji) #ConfessionOfAJackedMidget

And now I’m laughing as I stare into my phone. Jacked Midget? Cheeky bastard!

Hmmm. So Ryan wants a confession? Okay, how about … I went to a gay club when I was drunk last week and ended up kissing a bloke. Or I can’t stop thinking about my classmate Woody and his Harry Potter boxer wearing boyfriend and the time I was on top of him on his bed and my tongue was in his mouth. Or the fact that I got suspended from Muscle University because I did something really fucking shitty to them which they definitely didn’t deserve.

Or how about … I can’t forgive my mum for walking out on me when I was a kid, even though I secretly maybe want to. Or that I walked out on my mum today because her giving me that look of concern just fucking killed me and reminded me of when I was a kid and she was living with us and we were one big happy family. A normal fucking family.

Or how about the fact that I don’t think my dad would ever look at me the same way again if he knew I sometimes wanted to kiss lads. Just like I want to kiss you, Ryan North PT. You stupidly good looking bastard. And to feel your biceps. And touch your blocky abs. And maybe do some things to your massive fucking arse which I’ve never done before because I’ve only ever kissed two guys and nothing more. 

I close down the Instagram app, throw my phone down the bed, roll on my side and close my eyes. I'll think of something I can actually confess to Ryan later.

[Pecman9]

Wow. This gets better every chapter. 

[DennisFLL]

1 hour ago, muscleaddict said:

Haha - well I've mentioned here before about the idea of writing something for fun where the characters from AJ & Noah and MU would meet. Even if they're just fantasy scenarios. Maybe when this story is finished I'll knock something up. 

Bless you!

[WashburnDaddy]

Poor Deano isn't having an easy time of it is he? Such uncertainty and anguish. You really do get such a strong feeling of his turmoil and emotions - you're really carrying your audience along with you, and with the character - really well done!

[silverfox]

I love that we get to know what formed Deano -  the way you depict his  strong feelings, leaves me craving for more on him as a character. 

Also his relationship with his mum intrigues me  enormously  - i think coming to terms with one parents is always a big step towards maturity, my fingers are crossed that Deano finds a way to forgive her and maybe reconnect with her. He being her favorite as a child would make her the perfect confidant. I also ship the fact that she uses Dean and not Deano - showing that he has a special meaning for her. In case i haven‘t said it : your story continues to give me Life

[DennisFLL]

Amazing job, MA.  Deano's tough exterior is slowly being pealed open as his sensitive side is exposed.  And just like a lot of your readers, this rough and tumble bodybuilder loves to kiss other guys and feel their big bulging biceps!     

[WrestlejockCT]

This does really get better and better everytime a new chapter is posted--that's saying a lot since it started off pretty damn strong.  I kind of love the fact I'm rooting for the twat-faced pocket rocket to find some happiness in his life, something I never expected to do when reading Muscle University.  Awesome writing MA!