Popular Post AceOfSpade Posted May 21, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted May 21, 2020 . 29 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goremeridian Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 This is solid writing, mate! (I have to admit, I'm a sucker for a daddy muscle growth story.) As for feedback, my main advice would be to use speech marks to indicate speech, and start a new paragraph for each new speaker. I think that would just sharpen up the flow of your writing. Hope that helps! 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
divis24 Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 Hot! Looking forward to more. It looks like you were torn about who the narrator was. Sometimes the narrator says "my", sometimes "you", and sometimes "he/his", all of which refer to Justin. A quick and easy fix if you go through it one more time. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lsosuke Posted May 22, 2020 Share Posted May 22, 2020 *¬* I love growth, and incest dad x son. ufffffff your story was hoooot! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asianman2410 Posted May 30, 2020 Share Posted May 30, 2020 Really nice story. Would be fun to see a continuation. Definitely got me boned up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michaeldavid Posted June 1, 2020 Share Posted June 1, 2020 For sure - go for another chapter! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asianman2410 Posted September 12, 2023 Share Posted September 12, 2023 May I ask why you deleted the story? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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