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I really enjoyed this. The perspective was great, the switch of tense was perfect, the tension built up nicely and the unexpected switch at the end was awesome.

Thanks MonsterMash... It is an honor actually having you comment on my work (and liking it too!). I have loved everything you have done since your very first story, Double Wish, so I really appreciate this a lot!

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"and we both agreed that one of us was definitely going to be captain and the only way for our rivalry to stop was to end this charade for good by draining the other one completely."

 

Lol really? Apart from that, good story.

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  • 4 weeks later...

no new part or continue?

 

Was meant to be a one time story. Currently writing A Muscle Dad Built to Order. When I finish I MAY revisit this... from the other perspective.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 1 year later...

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