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My Celtic Cross Tarot Reading (Part 5a added 5/17)


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My Celtic Cross Tarot Reading

 

I was walking around a Renaissance Faire one Sunday. I barely get any time off, and it seemed like a fun way to spend a day off. At least it would get my mind off of life. I reached a little tent as I walked down a trail, seemingly away from all of the festivities. It didn't even seem like it was part of the faire. Maybe one of the actors lived on site. 

I called hello a couple of times as I approached, with no response. I just wanted a quick peak inside before heading back. I got close and gently lifted the tent flap. You could hear a pin drop, I was being so quiet and not even breathing. Inside seemed dark, so I got closer. I could barely make out that a table was in there, but not much else. Still holding my breath, I got my head all of the way in, and then I heard the flap close behind me.

In shock, I spun around. I was fully inside of the tent and it was lit by many candles. Turning back around, I saw a round table in the center of the room with various cabinets and supplies placed around the exterior. There was an incense stick giving off little wafts of smoke in the middle of the table. There was movement from the back room. Wait, there was a second part to the tent? Wait, wasn't this tent a lot smaller on the outside? Wait, how did I actually enter the tent?

"How can Madame Tempest help you today?" A lady in a gypsy looking costume entered the room from the back. I must have looked completely dumbfounded. "Yes, yes. You are in my home, but nobody enters Madame Tempest's home without reason. I can sense that you are confused. But your confusion is not about why you are here. You are confused about your place in life. You are confused about your direction. Come, come. Sit at my table with me." She approached the round table and sat down, gesturing for me to do the same. I did so.

"Let me see your hands." I placed my hands on the table. She took the left one and turned it over on to her own. She closed her eyes for a few seconds. Then, she went to my right hand and started tracing the lines in the palm. "Ah, I see now. Your life is not how it should be. You have great strength inside of you, but it does not come through. Others see you as weak and you have begun to agree. Madame Tempest thinks otherwise. Here, let me show you."

She clapped her hands together and a deck of cards was in her left palm. None of this made sense, but I was just going with it.

"Now, I will take reading. You must shuffle the cards and let your will infuse into them." She spread them out on to the table. "Now really make sure that the cards are mixed. They do not have a correct orientation. Right side up and up side down and both just as necessary to the reading." I mixed them up like I had seen poker dealers do before a game.  I then pushed the cards together back into a deck. "Do you want to cut the cards?" I shock my head no. She nodded in approval and grabbed the deck.

"This is called a Celtic Cross." She deal one face down and another perpendicular on top of it. She then dealt down, left, up and to the right of the original two cards. "These all represent your past, present and future. This will reveal a challenge you are facing with some reason drawn from your past." She then dealt four more cards in a line to the right side. "These cards will give you some insight into the challenge and what might affect it. Finally we will see what the outcome will be."

I gestured at the cards for her to continue.

She slid the first face down card out and placed it in front of me. "Present - Temperance in reverse... Not the best start to a reading. It indicates that you are currently being pulled in the extremes. Your life has lost its balance. Things may seem turbulent right now, but it may not be that way forever." She grins devilishly. "Obviously it will not stay turbulent into your future cards since we already drew temperance here."

I nodded. She wasn't wrong. It is kind of strange though. I really do feel like my life is all over the place. Am I focusing on the right thing? Am I living my life the way I should be?

The perpendicular card was then turned. "Immediate Challenge - The Magician... Since this card was on its side, there is no reverse. Your main goal will be yours for the taking. Make sure to take initiative and you will accomplish it. This is a very nice card to have as your challenge. Things seems messed up right now. But your challenge is to grab life by the horns and do what is best for you. If you accomplish that, you will have what you desire."

That was weird. What is my main goal?

"Distant Past - Justice in reverse. Your distant past has been plagued with other people affecting your life. You feel like your own decisions and actions have no meaning because you are constantly faced with other peoples consequences. This is probably what lead to you feeling the turbulence surrounding your life. It would certainly lead to temperance in reverse as your present card. Do not fret, as your own goals are now opening to you." She tapped on the Magician card.

I really never have had control over my life. Why do I lend myself to others' whims all of the time. Being easy going is a curse. I watched as she flipped the next card. The devil??? Man, this keeps getting worse.

"Recent Past, the cause for getting to this point - The Devil sounds like it is a bad card. However, it does not mean that Satan has been controlling you or some evil presence is here. All this means is that your main goal is being driven by you base desires, your animal instincts. You are not controlled by these instincts, instead you desire to follow them where they will lead you."

I actually responded for the first time, "I do desire to have freedom. So my desire to be free and my past of having no control over my life is causing great conflict. That makes sense. But what is this goal that is supposed to bring my life into balance? Wouldn't getting balance be a goal?"

She nodded thoughtfully. "I cannot claim to know what your base desires are. However, this next card may help you figure that out. This location on the Celtic Cross is the best outcome to the challenge. You got The Tower, reversed... The tower itself represents catastrophe and rebuilding, which would make sense for your situation. As in, everything falls apart from the turmoil but you can rebuild from that. Though, in reverse is has a different meaning. Through your challenge in obtaining your goal, you will be built up instead of falling apart. The best outcome will be that you come out stronger than you were before."

I shrugged in acceptance. It still did not answer the question about my goal. But at least it does indicate that things will get better.

"In your immediate future, we have The Wheel of Fortune in reverse... In general, the wheel means that sometimes things will go well and sometimes badly. In the end, karma will balance out. In reverse, karma will not balance out and you will be faced with good and bad changes. I am sorry, I know that is not what you wanted to hear. But let's move on to the next card because it should explain things a little bit better. Factors affecting situation..."

I nodded. This one would start to get into the nitty gritty.

"The Emperor is what will be affecting the challenge. The Emperor is a symbol of masculinity, authority and power. This means that someone in authority will have a big influence on your challenge. Perhaps a boss or a parent will help your reach your goals. Pay close attention to what those around you are saying. There may be an opening where they will no longer control your life and instead give you the reins."

"Ah ok. Since the goal is unclear, I need to 'keep my enemies closer' as it were. They may be the ones causing turmoil, but they may also save me in the end."

"Oh, there is a second card underneath. Strength in reverse. How odd. I never deal two cards in the same spot. But we mystics believe that when two cards are dealt, both have equal part in the story of your life. We are still on the factors affecting the situation. In reverse, strength refers to a weakened resolve. Your own inner strength will be low. This might be why you need to rely on the authority figure to help."

I scoffed a little. These cards are basically telling me that I suck. Everyone else controls me. My own desires are squashed away. I am not even strong enough to accomplish my heart's desire - I need someone else to do it for me.

"External influences - Wait, what? There are two cards here again. I believe these extra cards may have more meaning that we think. It is no coincidence that you have gotten two cards on both the factors affecting the outcome and the external influences outside of your control. This leads me to think there will be a duality to the situation. Outside authority versus your own will. Or in this case," she flipped both cards.

"The Sun and The Moon. This is a very mixed message. This is a mixture of your fears and positivity, your dark impulses and upbeat attitude. It could also be a literal card definition - the factors influencing the situation would be the sun and the moon... Perhaps you need to focus on your sleep schedule. It might take some trial and error to find a better schedule than what you have right now."

That actually made sense in a way. I have been wanting to go out to clubs more at night. Maybe I need to find a job with a later start time so that I could party late and sleep in afterwards.

"Hopes and fears - Death in reverse. At least there is only one card this time." She noticed my eyes widen - I fear death? "Just like with the Devil card, this is not literal. In reverse it is more difficult to interpret, though. So your hopes would be that your journey will have convergence. You will not want things to keep changing. Your fear will be that you are at the end. Again, not at the end of your life. It would be that you are afraid you will not get a new beginning."

I relaxed a little bit. That was somewhat comforting. Again, not liking the turmoil and change and want something more balanced. So my goal is to find balance in my life and someone above me will help.

"Culmination/Final outcome - The World... This is literally the end of a journey. The journey will end in accomplishment and closure. Even though you face good and bad things," she indicated The Wheel of Fortune again, "the outcome will be the completion of the challenge."

I smiled, "And all of it indicates that my challenge is to find balance in my life. That goal seems reachable."

"Yes, I have full faith in you. Be weary of your surroundings. Start to move away from people that are controlling you and get closer to those (especially bosses) who want your life and work and anything else to be in harmony. Madame Tempest wishes you all the best in your journey. It seems like it will be exciting."

I stood and gave her a little wave goodbye and turned around to leave the tent. I tripped on a stick, but managed to keep my balance. I wondered why there was a stick inside of the tent. I looked up towards Tempest to say something, but I was outside on the trail. When...? I stopped myself from asking any more questions and just quickly made my way back  to the faire on the trail.

The following day at work, I was not incredibly productive. That whole thing with the tent and the strange gypsy lady never left my mind. "My goal is to achieve balance. I need to distance myself from stress but keep some authority figured around for guidance." I was daydreaming and mumbling to myself. I glanced at the time and it was almost lunch. I shook myself out of it and groaned. I had nothing to show for my time so far. I needed to skip lunch and just focus on work. 

As the clock turned over to 12 noon, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I tried to cry out for help, but the agony prevented anything from escaping my lips. Tears were filling up in my eyes, and then it stopped. It felt like hours had passed, but the clock read 12:01. I just needed a quick walk and a drink of water to clear my head. The daydreaming must have been getting to me. The pain was completely gone, but I still had a lot of work to do.

============================

So do you think Madame Tempest was correct with her reading?

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Just a quickie. I'm still not sure if I want to slow play this story or go for a "a few weeks/months from now" sort of thing.

Part 2

 

The rest of the day went great. I felt so energetic and focused. I was able to make up for the morning daydreaming and then some. It wasn't so productive that anybody even noticed - not like they would notice even if I got twice the amount of work done. But I still felt a great sense of accomplishment. Like for the first time in my life, I was not just a cog.

The great feeling continued into the evening. Normally I would be crashing and falling asleep on the couch around 8 o'clock and still feeling like crap in the morning. That night I was watching some comedy shows and really finding the jokes funny. I was genuinely laughing and still feeling on top of the world. I was getting up to make myself a literal midnight snack since I was still wide awake. As the popcorn was microwaving, the clock struck 12 and my ornate grandfather clock began to chime. I doubled over in pain, this time falling to the fall. The pain earlier in the day felt like something was being jabbed into me. This new pain felt like a black hole in my gut and everything was being sucked in. 

The grandfather clock hit its 12th chime and the pain ended. The clock read 12:01 am. After all of that, I did not feel so energized any more. I actually just walked to my room and crawled into bed. The tv was still on and the finished popcorn sat alone in the microwave.

==============

The following day, a Tuesday, I woke up feeling absolutely awful. I immediately regretted staying up late the previous night. After hitting snooze more times that I usually allow myself, I dragged myself into the bathroom. I looked so sickly and drained. I skipped a shower (for lack of time) and just threw on some clothes and grabbed the 7 hour old popcorn from the microwave to eat for breakfast. I turned off the tv on my way out the door. 

Things didn't get any better at work. I still felt like I was run over by a truck. Not that anybody cared. I was lucky enough to arrive 10 minutes late and slip through the cubicles without a second glance. I looked like I had just rolled out of bed, mostly because it was pretty much true. 

A little over three hours into the day, and my immediate supervisor came by my desk to scold me for being 10 minutes late. Shoot... I thought I got in clean. That was just what I needed to make my crappy day even worse. I couldn't even look him in the eyes from the shame and embarrassment of being scolded by another adult. He continued on and on about how lazy I was and how he was putting a note into my file, blabbity blah blah blah. And then the clock struck 12 noon. I immediately remembered the previous day as I clutched my chest and stomach. My face was turning red from the strain.

My supervisor sighed, "Yeah sure, like I haven't seen people faking a heart attack before when they are being written up. Just pathetic."

12:01... I took a breath and looked up at him for the first time during the tongue lashing. "I completely agree. Listen, I will work through lunch again to make up the time." I felt like I was sitting up straighter in my chair. I was more confident and even smiled at him.

Suddenly his demeanor shifted, "We understand the grind some times. You know, let's skip the write up. I am sure you will be able to finish your work. We want everyone here on time for solidarity. If people start coming in late, even if they finish their work, it starts fostering jealously among other workers. You get it, right?"

I nodded enthusiastically. "Absolutely. That last thing I want to do is cause trouble for the company leadership. I am totally on board. Let's get back to work and crush it."

He chuckled and patted me on the shoulder. "That's the spirit. Keep up the good work!" He walked away looking a little happier than I had ever seen him. He even greeted a few of the workers on the way back to him office - much to everyone's surprise.

I did not even take the time to think about things. I dove head first into my work and before I knew it, the end of the day came around. I even stayed an extra ten minutes even though I had finished the day's work hours ago.

I left work and headed to the mall. I wasn't really in the mood to buy anything. I was mostly window shopping and people watching. Out of no where, I started saying hi and good evening to everyone I passed by. They all immediately got smiles on their faces. This one younger lady looked so sad and just about in tears. I walked up to her and said, "You look lovely today. Whatever is making you sad is not worth the tears." She sniffled and took a deep inhale and exhale. The tears had already dried from her eyes. She picked herself up and nodded to me. She then walked off with determination in her step. My happiness and enthusiasm was infectious. 

I stayed at the mall until it closed at 9. I then went home and pulled a book off of my shelf. Was I actually going to read a book? When do I ever have time, energy or focus to read a book? But it happened. It had been years since the last time I just enjoyed reading a book. I got through 3/4 of it and the clock struck 12. You know what happened. At 12:01, I was already asleep in the chair with the book in my lap.

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Part 3

 

My week continued pretty much the same. I was even starting to get accustomed to the pain. Or as much as one can get used to 2 minutes of absolute agony each day. I even started noticing that I acted and felt different. In the afternoon into the evening, I would always feel on top of the world. In the mornings, I felt like I had zero sleep and was completely drained of all motivation and happiness.

It was Sunday morning, around 11 am. I had only made it to the chair in the living room (the same I had fallen asleep in three days this week). I was trying to think about this weird cycle each day. My mind was hazy and it was somewhat difficult to keep track of my thoughts. But I did finally recognize that it was Sunday. But that was even more depressing because there I was wasting away my only day off sitting there doing nothing.

Before I knew it, an hour had passed and all I had to show for it was realizing that it was Sunday. Then it happened, just like the 6 times before. The clock struck 12 noon and by the time the chimes had finished, so had the pain past. It was only noon. There was so much time left in the day. "I should go back to the Ren Faire and see if I can find Madame Tempest again," I said to myself.

I pulled up the Ren Faire information on my phone and looked for the times and shows. Maybe Tempest would be listed. A tinge of disappointment hit me when I saw that the Faire was only in town last weekend for the end of spring. It would not be back until the start of fall. The disappointment was quickly replaced with excitement. I decided to go to the park. I could take a walk and maybe meet some new friends. I didn't actually have anybody that I would call a real friend and that needed to change.

==================

I arrived home after dark. There were more people at the park than I had expected. But they were just as friendly as I had imagined. I played frisbee with some young guys, chatted with some nice ladies walking their dogs together (and played with the dogs), and even got invited to join a yoga club doing their thing out on the grass. There were so many other things going on and people to talk to. I did all of it and even went out to dinner with the frisbee guys. I checked the time when I walked in the door, it was 10:30. Good, still some time to have fun before "going to bed", more like being forced to sleep.

I got changed and decided to take a shower. If the other days of the week were any indication, I would not be in the mood tomorrow morning. As I walked in front of the bathroom mirror, I had to double take at my reflection. There was something odd. I was definitely standing up straighter, giving off the appearance of being taller. I also looked healthier. My skin looked good and somewhat tighter than I remembered. Since I was already naked, I hopped on to my scale. It was around 6 pounds up from the last time I remembered weighing myself. I went back and checked myself out in the mirror one more time before the shower. I then grabbed my a book and hopped into bed. It was already after 11 and I figured why risk falling asleep on the couch or in the chair when I could just read in bed.

Sure enough, soon later the pain came and went. I fell asleep without even turning off the light.

==================

After I dragged myself out of bed the next morning, I took a piss and then shucked my clothes to look at myself in the mirror. I must have been high on endorphins the previous night. My skin had almost a grayish color to it. Nothing healthy or glowing about it. Even in my normal slouched posture, I looked shorter in the mirror. It was like the weight of the world was just crushing me. I stepped on to the scale and I had lost 3 pounds from the previous night. "Huh... that must have been some piss."

I stood there staring at the scale for many minutes. It had even shut itself off from inactivity. Finally, I got myself moving. I was going to be late again. Here we go.

That entire week was much of the same. Crappy mornings and great afternoons and evenings. My supervisor threatened to write me up a couple of times and then seemed to change his mood. It was odd, he only threatened me in the morning. Any time I saw him in the afternoon, he was happy to see me. Maybe there was something going around that started to let up after lunch each day. Or maybe I wasn't crazy thinking that everything looked better after after getting some sunlight.

Sunlight, like the sun and the moon that Madame Tempest had talked about. Was my life really changing based on the sun and the moon? She said that it had to do with something like fears and positivity or my sleep schedule. Is the moon actually initiating fears and darkness inside of me? Does the sun then bring back positive thoughts? 

When Sunday night rolled around again. After spending my time in the park with all of the friends I had met the previous time, I weighed myself when I got home. I was up by almost 12 pounds from a few weeks ago, and another 6 pounds tacked on to my weight from last week. In the mirror, I was positive this time that I was taller and healthier looking. I actually stood with my back to the wall and marked it with a pencil. "Hmm, 5'8" and three quarters. I think the last time I had a physical, the doctor said I was 5'8" and one quarter." I was talking to myself, no biggie. "Meh, that was probably just me slouching like usual at the doctor's. Plus, measuring yourself is always hit or miss." I flexed a little in the mirror. There was definitely something up (or I should say more than one thing up).

So the sun and the moon. What else had she said...? Something about my ultimate goal, which we figured was to gain balance. Those things about my past and present leading me here. And then my goal being related to primal instincts. Was that right? Is balance in your life a primal instinct? Or was it freedom? Or maybe something else, eh whatever. 

Oh right, the good and the bad. Maybe the sun and moon and these changes are all related to the good and bad and whatever karma stuff she was saying. 

Then there was a bunch of things about my boss and inner something or others and my hopes and fears. And there was a card with some building in it, the castle maybe? What did she say about that... Something about turmoil and the outcome. "Ah whatever. It is getting close to midnight and I am pretty confident that I won't care about any of this in the morning.

Evening became night. Night became dawn. Dawn brought my alarm clock. "Ugh....."

I basically slid out of bed and crawled into the bathroom. I silently cheered in my head that I only hit snooze three times. That was a record since all of this started. With great effort, I pulled myself up on to the countertop. I looked at myself in the mirror. Bloodshot eyes, unkempt hair - even some grays showing up, and pale-sickly looking skin. "Why me..." was all that I muttered. I tried to flex in the mirror like last night but could not even muster the strength to do so.

I hopped on to the scale and it read 5 pounds less than last night. Even in my haze, that struck me as quite odd. I stood up as straight as I could and marked my head on the same wall as last night. I turned around and could immediately see that the new mark was over two inches shorter without even having to measure it. I turned around again and forced myself to stretch and straighten to the max. I wasn't even trying to stretch last night and I was still at least an inch shorter today.

With a slightly wild look in my eyes, I got dressed for work. I knew that nothing was going to get done in the morning half of my day because I would be daydreaming about all of this craziness. But at least I could avoid getting chewed out for lateness.

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Now we start to unravel the mystery :) 

 

Part 4

I learned very quickly that I needed to buy baggier shirts to wear to work. It really was a funny story...

Weeks 3 and 4 went just like the previous weeks. Sluggish - pain - excitement and energy - pain - complete exhaustion. I started planning my schedule around the noon and midnight changes. I made sure to get everything prepared for the following day just before midnight. When I would wake up, things were all ready to go and I could leave for work without even thinking about it. Getting chewed out by my supervisor was a thing of the past. Now I only saw him during the infectious enthusiasm times. Work became so much nicer. 

At my job, I knew that I would get practically zero actual work done in the mornings. So I spent what drive I could muster on setting up and organizing my work space, emails and agendas for my "afternoon shift". I even would eat at my desk (a lunch packed before midnight the night before) at 11:30 am. Right when noon hit, I was ready to dive head first into my work and usually finished within a couple hours and then got myself into outside projects. I started becoming  known as the "go getter" at work. Because of the infectious nature of my attitude, everybody else's productivity sky rocketed in the afternoon. We even started getting to work only five days a week since productivity was up by 30%. That was cause for an extra 5% boost in productivity. Funny how we were working less (me only half days) and we were getting more accomplished.

Anyway, we were into week 5 - a Tuesday. Around 5 pm, I noticed that my shirt was tight. That had happened in the previous few days and I did not pay any attention to it. Around 5:50 pm, I was packing up my stuff to head home. The button on my shirt around mid-pec (yeah I could finally say that I had pecs) popped off when I stood. On the next day, I was typing a few end-of-day emails on my computer around 5:30 and my mid-pec button popped off just like the previous day. 

When I got home some time after 6 pm, I looked up how to measure your chest. I took off my shirt, lifted my arms and put a tailor's tape around my chest and then lowered them in a relaxed stance. I did not really know what I was expecting. I had never measured my chest before so the information was useless. Needless to say, I still wrote it down since measuring myself (height and scale) was becoming a common activity.

On Friday, my shirt was uncomfortably tight. When I got home, the first thing I wanted to do was take it off. When I reached up, the mid-pec button and button around my lower pecs both popped off. I crunched down and flexed - the two buttons just above and below both fled the scene. I chuckled as I undid the rest of the buttons and did the tailor's tape thing again. I mumbled to myself, "That is odd, up by a quarter inch from Wednesday."

I went to the mirror and flexed. I could see striations in the muscle form - rolling up from the bottom. I did it a few more times, mesmerized by the twitching fibers dancing under the skin. I turned to the side and my waist looked so much smaller. I wrapped the tape around it, again not knowing what I expected. But wait, I had my physical paperwork somewhere. I took a few minutes sifting through some old paperwork, "Aha!" 

The doctor had height, weight and bunch of bloodwork things that I did not understand. He had taken my chest, neck and waist measurement for something having to do with heart disease. My waist was the same, but my chest was up by 3 inches. I turned to the side again in the mirror and jutted it out. "Woah... so thick and ruddy." Oh crap, are my body proportions changing in addition to height?

I really needed to think about things. I grabbed a white board and started writing. "What were those things Madame Tempest had?" I drew a quick little diagram. A card and four cards around it. I remembered the plus sign on the table. "One two... Three... One two three..." Three cards on the side? "...Four..." Yeah, I think a fourth.

Next to the diagram I wrote 1-9.
'1. The devil
2. The grim reaper
3. The castle burning
4. Wheel of fortune'

I tapped the marker to my chin, producing a little smudge. 

'5. The king
6. The women
7. The man
8. Sun
9. Moon'

Ok, so those were all of them. I did not even know what any of them meant. I started looking up tarot card readings. "9 of wands?" I did not remember them having numbers on them. Did they have numbers? I moved on and saw all sorts of variations. V shapes, 3 cards at a time, just dealing them, and then the Celtic Cross. It flashed in my mind that she had said those words. At the top of the white board, I wrote 'Celtic Cross'. Time was slipping away from me, though. I needed to get some dinner and walk around a bit outside before it got too late. So I left the white board on my table.

========================

The following morning I got up and the first thing I did was draw a horizontal card on the middle of the plus sign. I was so proud of myself, you have no idea. Thinking of that had been the crowning achievement of my mornings for the past five weeks. I saw the shirt with the missing buttons tossed on to a chair. I put it on over top of my sleep shirt. It was loose. How in the bloody hell could it be loose? I went into the bathroom and measured my chest. My eyes bugged out when I saw the measurement was down by almost 2.5 inches. I grabbed the measurements from the physical, my chest measurement was still up by a half inch from the physical but how could it be down from the previous night?

That was all too much for me to handle. I climbed back into bed and fell asleep. You can guess was woke me.

Once the pain had stopped, I shook my head. I was silently chiding my morning self for sleeping in. My shirt was still off from earlier when I walked into the bathroom. I checked myself out in the mirror. My skin had a healthy and vibrant look to it, but everything else was off. This was not the same man from the previous night. I measured my chest and it was still the 2.5 inch decrease. I quickly hopped on the scale and I was down a good 15 pounds from last Sunday's reading. 

All of that had to wait. I had to take a piss so bad and my stomach was aching from not eating earlier. Once all of that was taken care of, I threw on an undershirt and went back to researching the tarot cards.

"Devil... reaper... hmm... sun and moon." Those two were in the same spot. Actually, I remembered her saying that two of them had doubles. "With the sideways one, that means 12. I'm missing three. Wait, death was my fear." I started a second list, trying to place them in the correct order of the reading. 

'11. hopes and fears = grim reaper = death'

"The sun and moon was the one double and the other was my boss and... my willpower..." It occurred to me that Tempest said that I needed other people to help me since I couldn't help myself. Or something to that affect. But whatever my boss's card was and my willpower card was the other double on the table.

I spent quite a bit of time working on the reading. It was very late afternoon by the time my concentration was broken. The slim fit undershirt that I was wearing was groaning every time I reached forward. "Huh...?" I walked into the bathroom and looked at it in the mirror. The armpits looked like they were ready to bust out. I poked around and squeezed. It was definitely me under there. I made a note in my head to research that flared out flesh later on. This was all new to me. I had an ok, maybe slightly above average build before. All of this muscle and body measurement stuff had never been a priority before.

I stripped the shirt off and I could pretty much see the guy from last night again. I measured my chest (jeez, from never measuring to four times in less than a 24 hours). It wasn't quite there, but around 3/4 inch off from last night. All of that could wait, I needed to use the rest of the daylight to do something fun instead of being cooped up inside.

Everything was still weighting on me when I got home after dark. I started forming a picture in my head. I jotted a note on to the white board.

'Light and Dark. Growth and Reduction.'

I had an idea of what the tape measure would say, but wanted to confirm it. Yep, chest was right around where it was last night. So that means I need to figure out what is happening. It was going to be a long night. I got changed and hopped into bed to take a nap. I knew I wouldn't need an alarm clock to wake me.

At 12:01 am, I got up out of bed (reluctantly) and hopped on the scale. I figured the scale would be the easiest way to test. It was around 30 pounds increase from when all of this started. I then proceeded to force myself to stay awake watching tv. I drank some coffee to help. By 12:14 am, it was the latest I had stayed up since before the changes. At 1 am, I was down a pound. At 2 am, I was down close to 2 pounds.

3 am - down 3 pounds
4 am - down 5 pounds
5 am - down 9 pounds
6 am - down 15 pounds
7 am - down 15 pounds

I couldn't make it to 8 am and just finally crashed. After my noon "alarm clock" went off, I jumped on the scale. It still read over a 15 pounds decrease. I decided to work on the tarot research for a bit before heading to the park for my weekly Sunday constitutional. But I still jumped on the scale.

12:02 pm - still down 15 pounds
1 pm - down 14 pounds
2 pm - down 13 pounds
3 pm - down 11 pounds 

I could see where this was going. That explains why the shirt fit tight in the late afternoon and the buttons were popping after 5 pm. The sizes change over a period of time and then it evens out until the next shift.

I really needed to clear my head, so I went to the park. It worked to some degree, but my friends could tell that something was on my mind. I let them know that everything was fine, even though I gained another 12 pounds while playing frisbee. My shirt was becoming tight by the time we were done. After our weekly dinner, I went out shopping. I knew I would need some bigger clothes. It costs a few buttons, but I learned very quickly that I needed to buy baggier shirts to wear to work.

When I arrived home, I did my Sunday evening height and weight measurements. "Up another quarter inch and 6 and a half pounds since last week..." I stared at the measurements on the wall for a while.

As I started packing lunch for work, the pieces began to fall into place. The marks on the wall were increasing very slightly in distance from each other. "Oh my god, no. It's not going to stop." Maybe it was the lack of sleep or too much time researching, but this was my first "afternoon shift" where I started to panic.

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11 hours ago, Ro20316 said:

This si so freaking cool and inetresting. Im loving this

I actually started writing part 5 before this and realized there would need to be something inbetween lol. Part 4 was just going to be something small. As I wrote it, more and more things starting popping into my head.

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Just a quickie to get myself motivated on this story again :)

Part 5a

What do you do when you know the future? What if that future says that you are going to die? Well, in my case, the future doesn't specifically say that I will die from my condition, but I certainly cannot see how I could possibly live. Let me explain...

The revelation that I was growing and shrinking without end gave me quite a shock to my system. I immediately ran into my bathroom and checked the pencil markings on the wall again. Each mark was on the same day each week and around the same time. Sunday evenings for growth and Monday mornings for shrinking. I had started on the second week, I remembered it clearly. It had read a half inch gain in height. "So this one, 5'8" and three quarters, well even less than that, but closer to 3/4 than 1/2... Just a hair under 5'9"... a hair over 5'9" and one quarter... If this continues, I bet I will be around 5'9" and a half tonight."

I grabbed my laptop and plugged in those values into a spreadsheet. I just did a quick chart to check the line. With only four points, it wasn't the best trend line but it would do for now. My heart sank. The trend line was curving upwards. So not only would I keep growing, but it would be ever so slowly accelerating. I did the same for the shrinking measurements and the very few data points I had for my chest. I projected the points out based on the trend line equations and filled the cells as far as it would go. I added a date field for a reference and began to look at the weeks to come.

I continued looking at the values, absolutely horrified at what I was seeing. I just went for it all and scrolled down to the numbers 10 years out. "Under 2 inches tall... And what is that number?" I had to stretch out the column on the spreadsheet because the number didn't fit. "One... One..." I was losing my breath reading it. "One point five million pounds... At less than two inches tall. Oh wonderful, and I would be over 35 feet tall and 13 billion pounds a few hours later. And my chest would be 1.3 billion inches in diameter. Of course, that makes sense," I said sarcastically to myself. I tapped a few buttons on my keyboard and did a quick internet search. "The Earth is 42 million feet in circumference. My chest would be 107 million feet. Great, so I would be 35 feet tall with a chest that is over twice the circumference of the Earth." I forced a nervous chuckle out to try to give myself some form of comfort.

I skimmed back to the 2 year area. Even that was looking pretty dire. I skimmed up a little bit more to where things made a little more sense. I got to most of the way through next year. I would be somewhere in the 3 feet tall to 7 feet tall range. At 3 feet tall, I might be around 600 pounds. Not great, but possibly manageable. The tall side was 7-8 feet tall and over 2,000 pounds. Again, not very good news, but I might be able to still move. I set that as my cutoff. Anything past that point and I most likely would be immobile or worse.

"So I have less than a year and a half to live... What do you do when you know the future? What if that future says that you are going die?"

The question resonated in my head.

"I have to fight it."

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