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Catfishing

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Has anyone here ever been catfished? 

I recently was catfished for close to two months by another member of this site. It's been the biggest mindfuck of my life. He literally told me everything that I wanted to hear; that he wanted to sponsor me, that he was a bodybuilder, that he wanted to be with me...after talking every day for weeks he said he was in love with me. Of course, I shared everything about my life and he got every intimate detail of my thoughts from me before telling me that he was lying and he couldn't do any of the things he was telling me he could do. He couldn't move me out to be with him and then revealed he wasn't an actual bodybuilder. I'm condensing a LOT here. He always had an excuse for not doing Skype with me (he told me he didn't have Skype, that he didn't know how it worked, that he was going to and then when I pressed him he disappeared for a few weeks. Didn't return calls, texts, emails. This after claiming he loved me and wanted to spend his life with me, all of this leading up to me confronting him big time and getting the truth finally. 

So, yeah. I'm never trusting anyone from the Internet ever again. My paranoia of everyone and everything is sky high (to the point where I'm far too suspicious of everything everyone tells me), and my desperation to finally be with someone blew up in my face and my ability to trust is dead. Don't have any idea if I'll write my muscle fiction further. I just don't know. I'm taking a break from posting on this site. I don't know when I'll post again. Basically it is my worst fear, and I do mean my worst fear, for someone to fool me and make me feel stupid. And now that happened. Yay. 

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1 hour ago, muscledrain said:

Has anyone here ever been catfished? 

I recently was catfished for close to two months by another member of this site. It's been the biggest mindfuck of my life. He literally told me everything that I wanted to hear; that he wanted to sponsor me, that he was a bodybuilder, that he wanted to be with me...after talking every day for weeks he said he was in love with me. Of course, I shared everything about my life and he got every intimate detail of my thoughts from me before telling me that he was lying and he couldn't do any of the things he was telling me he could do. He couldn't move me out to be with him and then revealed he wasn't an actual bodybuilder. I'm condensing a LOT here. He always had an excuse for not doing Skype with me (he told me he didn't have Skype, that he didn't know how it worked, that he was going to and then when I pressed him he disappeared for a few weeks. Didn't return calls, texts, emails. This after claiming he loved me and wanted to spend his life with me, all of this leading up to me confronting him big time and getting the truth finally. 

So, yeah. I'm never trusting anyone from the Internet ever again. My paranoia of everyone and everything is sky high (to the point where I'm far too suspicious of everything everyone tells me), and my desperation to finally be with someone blew up in my face and my ability to trust is dead. Don't have any idea if I'll write my muscle fiction further. I just don't know. I'm taking a break from posting on this site. I don't know when I'll post again. Basically it is my worst fear, and I do mean my worst fear, for someone to fool me and make me feel stupid. And now that happened. Yay. 

I am not sure if what happened to me could be classed as "catfished" as I did not enter into any kind of relationship with him, but someone who told me that he was a Civil War re-enactor from PA and an am bodybuilder / powerlifter / wrestler claimed to be the biggest, strongest and most powerful man in the whole state and was regularly boasting about how he was always in the reconstructions of the battles as a Colonel or General but never posted any pictures of them but was always posting pictures of his physique. One day he posted a picture and I thought "That looks familiar" the reason? It was a picture of a pro bodybuilder that he had sent me stating he was one of his heroes. I promptly reported the posting and twenty four hours later he had deleted his account.

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I fell in love with him and I have no idea how anyone could do this. How could anyone lie this much? Get this close to me emotionally and have no intention of ever being with me? It's unfathomable. I've been alone all my life. I was orphaned. He used that to his advantage. He told me he would be my family. 

If you're reading this, I think you're pure evil. And posting a bunch of pics on this site which are not what you look like (which he also did) is also pathetic. He did this and he got people praising him for his progress. It's mind blowing. He looked legit. He told me he knew the ins and outs of the professional bodybuilding world and he could take me all the way. 

Of course, I did this because deep down, I knew I had failed in life. I have never had a job in America that provided me with a living wage greater than around 1K a month. I made money overseas because I couldn't make it here. No one ever gave me a chance. Now I'm 40. I'm going back overseas. I will never have a chance at true love, of getting married and having a family. Those things will never happen for me. 

I don't want to hear a lecture about how I didn't try. I did try, but there's only so far I was able to get. I ran into a lot of walls (especially after I was nearly murdered several years ago. That was fun). I didn't make the right decisions but of course...I have been completely alone all my life with literally no one to guide me. 

My life is totally devoid of any meaning. My fantasies of feeling important, which I wrote about through this site and others, are a total sham meant to give me some kind of feeling of self worth to make up for a lifetime of failure after being homeless, abandoned and working twelve years in minimum wage hell. I honestly thought, and I know it's also pathetic, that if I pursued bodybuilding, someone, somewhere, might fall in love with me. Men only want three things: for you to have money so you can be their sugar daddy, or for you to be an alpha male who has a decent career (I don't) or for you to be at least marginally good looking and have a good body. I thought, stupidly, if I improved my body, someone might finally want me and/or love me. 

I was wrong. I will never have that. Bodybuilding is pointless. My life is pointless. I have no hope left of ever having the life that I dreamed of.

 

 

 

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I'm sorry you went through this ordeal. You are lovable. You are deserving of love.  If you need to talk I'm open. I can't do much but listen but I'll try. Let us know you are ok, please?

 

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5 hours ago, muscledrain said:

Has anyone here ever been catfished? 

I recently was catfished for close to two months by another member of this site. It's been the biggest mindfuck of my life. He literally told me everything that I wanted to hear; that he wanted to sponsor me, that he was a bodybuilder, that he wanted to be with me...after talking every day for weeks he said he was in love with me. Of course, I shared everything about my life and he got every intimate detail of my thoughts from me before telling me that he was lying and he couldn't do any of the things he was telling me he could do. He couldn't move me out to be with him and then revealed he wasn't an actual bodybuilder. I'm condensing a LOT here. He always had an excuse for not doing Skype with me (he told me he didn't have Skype, that he didn't know how it worked, that he was going to and then when I pressed him he disappeared for a few weeks. Didn't return calls, texts, emails. This after claiming he loved me and wanted to spend his life with me, all of this leading up to me confronting him big time and getting the truth finally. 

So, yeah. I'm never trusting anyone from the Internet ever again. My paranoia of everyone and everything is sky high (to the point where I'm far too suspicious of everything everyone tells me), and my desperation to finally be with someone blew up in my face and my ability to trust is dead. Don't have any idea if I'll write my muscle fiction further. I just don't know. I'm taking a break from posting on this site. I don't know when I'll post again. Basically it is my worst fear, and I do mean my worst fear, for someone to fool me and make me feel stupid. And now that happened. Yay. 

Heh, everything you typed here sounds VERY familiar.

I myself was catfished back in 2013 by someone that was a member on the OLD forum. He was a master manipulator and was highly predatory. He tried to destroy not only my mind, but also my family. It turned out he did this to dozens of other men at the same time. The man frankly should be in prison. Because of him, I don't trust people hardly at all anymore. There are people that I have known for years online and it frustrates them that I don't believe everything they tell me. 

Face it, we are victims of mental abuse and this crap should be stopped.

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 I have been catfished a few times on another site. 3 different guys all in the military on a mission so they can't tell me where they are but they profess their love and desire to be with me.  If you think a guy in the military is actually a catfish ask for the military email. The military has a site where people can get and send secure emails.  According to an article i read if he can't or won't give you the email address he's probably a catfish. The first guy almost got me to believe him but the second two were easier to recognize as fakes.

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9 minutes ago, cutlerfan said:

 I have been catfished a few times on another site. 3 different guys all in the military on a mission so they can't tell me where they are but they profess their love and desire to be with me.  If you think a guy in the military is actually a catfish ask for the military email. The military has a site where people can get and send secure emails.  According to an article i read if he can't or won't give you the email address he's probably a catfish. The first guy almost got me to believe him but the second two were easier to recognize as fakes.

#1: Military men would likely not try that crap because they would be discharged for wasting time like that. If they do, they are truly lowlifes.

Yep, after experiencing it once, you start to recognize the signs.

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46 minutes ago, cutlerfan said:

I'm sorry you went through this ordeal. You are lovable. You are deserving of love.  If you need to talk I'm open. I can't do much but listen but I'll try. Let us know you are ok, please?

 

I appreciate that. I've gotten a few emails from other men who have been catfished. 

I am having a slight breakdown and am sending emails and leaving voicemails to everyone that hurt me that I never confronted from the past ten years. That's probably not normal but that is how I'm handling this. I feel unbelievable amounts of rage and I feel like shit about myself. I told him everything about my extremely shitty life, and he told me how he wanted to be mine, be the man of my dreams who would finally be my other half. To know that he never intended on making any of that happen is quite frankly devastating. This wasn't an internet crush. I fell in love with him. I thought we were soulmates. I feel so stupid now. 

All my life I have tried to deal with my extreme loneliness through stories in a way to make my life livable. I even said Dane's Ghost came out of a desire to rewrite my life so that my past isn't as shitty and lonely. So I can imagine the way my life could have been and I guess I do that to try to give myself the feelings of strength, encouragement, and confidence I never had back then. The fact that this just happened is a huge blow to my ego and I feel like my confidence has all been totally stripped away. I hate this. I hate how awful I feel. Falling in love with him was like a rush, a total high. I was going to have someone! The raw and pure emotion that went into our phone calls was overwhelming. He says he never actually intended on hurting me. I guess he just got carried away with lying to me and getting in over his head with lies?? But I can't believe anything he says now, so who knows what's real and what isn't. I doubt everything now. 

I'm not exactly "okay" but I'm not going to kill myself. I just feel totally emptied. I'm beyond depressed. I feel like he took everything from me. It's devastating. I don't have any hope of finding true love now. I mean, just a few weeks ago I had all this hope that I was going to get a great job and that I was going to have a husband/partner and now I know I'm never going to get that job. I'm never going to make the amount of money I imagined. He said at first he could afford to bring me to live with him, to be my bodybuilding sponsor and went into such detail on all of the things he was going to do for me. Then he changed it and said he was trying to get a job so he could move to another state and he wanted me to wait a few months...he was going to be making so much money. I believe he might get that job. It's possible. Who knows! He's not going to use that job to help me like he said he was going to. He was going to give me this whole new life and both of us were finally going to end a lifetime of loneliness. He's not going to give me his love, and he even admitted in his email that he knew he abused me. 

Great. At least my catfisher is self aware. 

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3 minutes ago, muscledrain said:

I'm not exactly "okay" but I'm not going to kill myself. I just feel totally emptied. I'm beyond depressed.  

i understand the difference between the two things: suicidal and being depressed. I always clarify to my friends that I am not suicidal when I admit just how bad I feel. I am glad you replied. I hope you feel better one day.  I say this not as a trite brushoff but because I know it takes time to recover;  time that cannot be estimated in days or months. Take care of yourself and forgive yourself when you can.  Good journey my friend.

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So sorry man.  That royally sucks.  One of the crappy parts about the internet anymore.  :( 

I don't think I'm jaded, but anymore you have to have skepticism about who you meet.   I don't believe anybody 100% on this site and others until I actually get proof.  It sucks it has to be that way but that's how I approach it.  I see profiles on Scruff all the time of people using pictures of bodybuilders that I know and I just shake my head.    

 

Some advice for anybody out there who are meeting new people:  Ask for a simple picture with a simple gesture.  Ask the person to do something like take a picture of them flipping you the bird or giving two thumbs up.  Or have them write something down on a piece of paper and hold it in front of them.  With smart phones these days this is as easy of a request as it gets.  They don't even have to show their face if they are really shy.  And if they make excuses or don't comply, then move on to someone who will.    

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