ploder4 Posted March 3, 2019 Share Posted March 3, 2019 === SCRAPPED - 4TH ATTEMPT COMING === I really need to get a hold on how I want this story to go... 6 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aronymous Posted March 3, 2019 Share Posted March 3, 2019 Since you asked for comments and suggestions, here's one: the story really needs an intro. There's no introduction of the characters, location or situation. It leaves the readers with too many questions. You can even do that by adding in a flash back, but now it feels random and rushed. It reads like it should be the 3rd chapter instead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ploder4 Posted March 3, 2019 Author Share Posted March 3, 2019 Flashback was planned. Still half baked in my head. I might break the 4th wall like in Deadpool. I am leaning this to be more of a comedy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goremeridian Posted March 3, 2019 Share Posted March 3, 2019 I like the fact it starts in media res, pulling you in straight away. Looking forward to more Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ploder4 Posted March 24, 2019 Author Share Posted March 24, 2019 I really need to get a hold on this story... it's running away from me. Everytime I start this story I think of an idea that's even better and doesn't fit with the original timeline of events. ARGH!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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