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bulkybud

Comments On Your Physique

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I got my first real comment the other day from a friend I haven't seen in ages. He said I was looking massive (I disagree, but I was wearing a t-shirt with a flattering fit lol) and I just did not know how to react. I liked it, don't get me wrong, but I just said "Aw.....thanks," and, since we were in a bar, stared intently at the drinks menu....think I need to work on that for the next comment I get!

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When one receives a compliment on any subject, the best habit to get into is to simply smile and say thank you. That's all that's necessary. As bodybuilders, we are so finely attuned to our physiques that our perception of ourselves varies wildly from what the average joe on the street sees. They may see a huge muscular dude when they look at us, but we see all the "flaws" that we're trying to improve. For me, I want a bigger chest, so when I get a compliment, my impulse is to say, yes, but my chest sucks. I have to stop myself and remember to just say thanks!

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Swole, you're absolutely right. I also view any compliment as a representation of many unspoken compliments that other strangers may have thought but were too shy to say. My guess is it's a ratio of 20:1 unspoken to spoken compliments. (Clearly I've thought about this too much).  So when you do receive a compliment, it really means a lot!

The same goes for haters though. I'm sure people have thought some nasty things but never said it to my face. Good thing we can't read minds!

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I can definitely say that I've done a 180 with this department.  I was overly self-conscious growing up and had a terrible self esteem.  My older brothers were relentless turds in helping keep that cloud of insecurity over my head, and I think I had few people that helped reinforce good, positive outlooks.  The height made things awkward in school and I was always afraid of how I would appear to do something.  It made playing basketball a nightmare at times, where I'd be playing well and one bad mistake would have me come unhinged.  The tall and lanky thing was tough, because I'd always feel awkward having comments come my way which was often.

 

I'd always been a closet-muscle fan for many reasons, and after getting on my own and thanks to the age of the internet it opened things up for me.  After a long delay, and multiple on and off workout plans, I finally kicked my own ass into gear and gave it a serious effort.  I've been making gains and progress and I would still have those moments.  I kinda had to reboot my thinking process more and embrace a lot.  Come to find out, I loved the changes physically, psychologically, emotionally.  it changed me a lot.

 

Now, I enjoy the comments.  I still try to have a modest approach of thanks, still trying for more and I try not to be negative and reply with something about what I'm not happy with.  The encouragement I've gotten helps push a bit further and I know that I'm still pushing in the right direction.  I am dating a guy who is really into my height and size and it's been awesome to realize that what I spent a majority of my life growing up with is not so bad ;) and the progress helps make it even better.  

 

I will try to avoid the cliche pop-psyche encouragement thing, but something that helped me is realizing that appreciating yourself is more important and once you can figure that out, it helps make others comments a lot more comfortable and put in a better context.  Just my two cents.

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I can definitely say that I've done a 180 with this department.  I was overly self-conscious growing up and had a terrible self esteem.  My older brothers were relentless turds in helping keep that cloud of insecurity over my head, and I think I had few people that helped reinforce good, positive outlooks.  The height made things awkward in school and I was always afraid of how I would appear to do something.  It made playing basketball a nightmare at times, where I'd be playing well and one bad mistake would have me come unhinged.  The tall and lanky thing was tough, because I'd always feel awkward having comments come my way which was often.

 

I'd always been a closet-muscle fan for many reasons, and after getting on my own and thanks to the age of the internet it opened things up for me.  After a long delay, and multiple on and off workout plans, I finally kicked my own ass into gear and gave it a serious effort.  I've been making gains and progress and I would still have those moments.  I kinda had to reboot my thinking process more and embrace a lot.  Come to find out, I loved the changes physically, psychologically, emotionally.  it changed me a lot.

 

Now, I enjoy the comments.  I still try to have a modest approach of thanks, still trying for more and I try not to be negative and reply with something about what I'm not happy with.  The encouragement I've gotten helps push a bit further and I know that I'm still pushing in the right direction.  I am dating a guy who is really into my height and size and it's been awesome to realize that what I spent a majority of my life growing up with is not so bad ;) and the progress helps make it even better.  

 

I will try to avoid the cliche pop-psyche encouragement thing, but something that helped me is realizing that appreciating yourself is more important and once you can figure that out, it helps make others comments a lot more comfortable and put in a better context.  Just my two cents.

 

I can relate to this so well man.  The awkward tallness and lankiness (not as tall as you by far though), the brother who crushed my self esteem growing up, and finally deciding I had enough and getting myself to the gym.  One of the best parts of going to college was getting away from all that.  Any time I get a compliment, though it's still rare, I still never know how to respond.  My modesty makes me flustered

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I love it. It keeps me motivated to keep on pushing through my workouts/dieting. When I'm wearing a cutoff or a sleeveless shirt, I'd better get some darn compliments  :D 
But that's just my cockiness I suppose.

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if someone takes the time to pay a compliment then only respectful to acknowledge and appreciate. same if someone asks for your opinion or help I always give but explain everyone is different and have different theories, thought, approach etc so don't take my word as law.

same if a "big boy" is being a douche bag in the gym especially in their manner and approach to others I put them in their place

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