AJ & Noah

[mikamik]

MY GOD!!! You almost got me in tears!!.......i didn't even realize first, that i was shouting "ASSHOLE!!" at my screen, at AJ!!!  He has to deal with me if he dares to break Noah's heart!

With that off of my chest.....WOW man, you really moved my feelings, i still try to calm myself. I don't want to hurry you, BUT hurry up, i need the next chapter 

[muscleaddict]

On 12/4/2018 at 5:26 PM, mikamik said:

MY GOD!!! You almost got me in tears!!.......i didn't even realize first, that i was shouting "ASSHOLE!!" at my screen, at AJ!!!  He has to deal with me if he dares to break Noah's heart!

With that off of my chest.....WOW man, you really moved my feelings, i still try to calm myself. I don't want to hurry you, BUT hurry up, i need the next chapter 

Only almost? DAMN IT! Right...my next story will have you full on sobbing and that's a promise! No, mate - this such a sweet comment. Thank you!! Obviously I *hoped* that people would be moved by this chapter and others but I wasn't sure if I had that capability so to get this kind of feedback from you and others in some of the previous comments is just awesome!  

I need to go over the next chapter and also add a bit to it but you know I don't like to keep you guys waiting too long! Oh and if you do have to track AJ down he probably won't be too hard to find. Just check Scorpio's Gym or Tesco's in Little Denton...he'll be the one waddling around with a cheeky smirk on his face as his muscles bulge out of his work uniform (psssst...try and get a photo too! )

[Shawn1978]

On 12/3/2018 at 2:08 PM, muscleaddict said:

Haha! Hmmm. Or…the whole thing has one been one elaborate fantasy that Noah made up after he bumped into AJ on the walk back from Tesco to his house. He gets home, jumps on Facebook, searches for AJ and find dozens of pictures of AJ and his gorgeous fitness model girlfriend. Noah smiles to himself, thinking, "Yeah…that's about right. As if a gorgeous, huge, shirt straining bodybuilder would *ever* be interested in *me*!" before going on his first date with Eddie. THE END.

Hmmmm. I think you guys really *would* turn into a lynch mob! 

Was that supposed to be a Dallas reference? Where Bobby wakes up to realize it's all been a dream?

[Guest]

Hehe. You have to be a certain age to remember that storyline @Shawn1978

[Shawn1978]

2 minutes ago, Eadwig said:

Hehe. You have to be a certain age to remember that storyline @Shawn1978

Estoy Cuenta Anos, Eadwig. And I'm proud of it.

For those who don't know what that means in Spanish, I said:

I am 40 years old, Eadwig. And I'm proud of it. I just celebrated my 40th Birthday on December 3rd.

[Guest]

Happy belated birthday  @Shawn1978.  Being 45 I remember that scene too, when Pam found Bobby in the shower. 

I digress. Back to AJ & Noah.

[muscleaddict]

Shawn, mate - happy belated birthday from me too!

[muscleaddict]

OK, here goes. I know quite a few of you are eager for this one!

Thirty Six

I put the key in my front door, praying that my mum wouldn’t catch me coming back home. Because I’m pretty sure she’d be able to tell that I’d been crying. And she’d definitely know that something was wrong. The coast was clear. But as I rushed up the stairs to my room, my mum came out of the kitchen and started saying something to me. I ignored her, shut my bedroom door, threw my switched off phone on the bed settee in the corner of my room that me and AJ used to sleep on during our sleepovers when we were younger and collapsed onto my bed.

I was no longer angry. All I could feel was like this incredible sadness. It was like a huge black veil had been draped over my world. Curled up facing my wall, I could barely move my head, let alone lift it from the pillow. I felt like I was lying at the bottom of this huge pit, and I had no desire or energy to try and claw my way out. I just wanted to stay there lying in the darkness.

Not long after lying down I fell asleep. It was the sound of Little Cat crying at my door that eventually woke me up. I let her in and she pounced on my bed, meowing and rubbing up against my legs and eventually curling into me. I had no idea what the time was or how long I’d been asleep for. I didn’t really care.

I wondered if AJ had tried to call me again. Or had left me any messages. I was almost scared at the prospect of switching my phone back on to see. I just wanted to block everything out. Put everything on pause for a while. But I knew that was impossible, because all of these thoughts were running through my head, and they wouldn’t stop.

I kept thinking about AJ with Dale, the beautiful, olive skinned muscle guy he’d been with the night before. How Dale had tracked AJ down on Facebook and arranged to come up and go out with him in town while I’d been on my work experience placement in London.

What had they talked about on Facebook? Had they spoken about me? And what exactly had they done on that night out? Had AJ been comparing Dale to me? Comparing what our bodies looked liked naked? Had Dale done things to AJ that I hadn’t? Made AJ feel a way I couldn’t?

Even though I hated Dale for what he’d done, on some twisted, fucked up level, I couldn’t really blame him for wanting to track AJ down. It wasn’t every day that a ridiculously gorgeous, junior competitive bodybuilder strolled into a gay pub, bronzed up and bulging out of his tight, white t-shirt.

Dale, and the two other muscle guys he was with had probably almost fainted when they’d first spotted him. The other two had even tried to entice us back to theirs. Mr Olive Skin had probably had a flash of inspiration when he’d gotten home, jumped on his laptop and found AJ on Facebook. The profile picture of him flexing out a most muscular with his mouth open, shredded and bronzed on stage, sticking out from all of the other AJ’s that had popped up in the search results.

And as much as I hated Dale, for being rude to me in the pub, for tracking AJ down online, for presumably lying about visiting friends in town, just so he could see AJ again, and telling him that shagging him behind his boyfriend’s back was “no big deal” because, apparently, that’s what gay guys do, like a sneaky fucking cunt, I knew that if it hadn’t been him, it would have been someone else.

Some other hot muscle guy eager to snap AJ up and steal him away from me, just like I’d predicted would happen the night we were out in London. I just never imagined it would happen this soon. And this easily. While AJ was still very much living in Little Denton. One fucking trip to one gay pub in London and our relationship was fucked.

I kept thinking about what AJ had said about whatever had happened between the two of them. That he was drunk. That it was “barely anything“. That it hadn’t changed the way he felt about me. I kept thinking about how scared and sorry he’d looked. And maybe he regretted what he’d done with Dale? Maybe it was just nothing more than sex? From the way AJ spoke, I got the feeling that that was the case.

But if Dale hadn’t made him feel anything, what about the next beautiful muscle guy who pursued and enticed AJ? Or the next guy after that? How long would it take for AJ to fall for someone else the way he’d fallen for me? Someone who was more suited to AJ than I was? A beautiful, A-List gay with a perfect muscle body, and an amazing personality to match. Maybe AJ and I were just never going to last that long? Maybe someone like me could never really be with someone like AJ Jones? Maybe the universe just wouldn’t allow it?

But above all else, what hurt the most, was not what would happen, but what AJ had already done with Dale. I still wasn’t sure whether AJ was in love with me. I knew his feelings went way beyond anything he’d known. He’d told me that. I remembered his text to Naomi.  He makes me feel things I’ve never felt before. And yet, he’d still gone behind my back and met Dale. Even if he hadn't planned to do anything, which I’m not sure I entirely believe, he’d still lied to me about who he was going out with. He clearly knew on some level that what he was doing wasn’t right.

Maybe there was a deeper reason why AJ had done it? Maybe he was scared of his feelings for me? Maybe I’d been too full on the weekend before, worrying about what was going to happen in the future and when I’d gone back to university? Maybe AJ had subconsciously wanted to fuck things up because it was just easier that way? Or maybe he also knew that, deep down, someone like him wasn’t supposed to be with someone like me?

A gentle knock on the door pulled me out of my thoughts. “Noah?” Fuck. My mum cautiously opened the door. “What are you doing?” she asked, gently.

“I just fell asleep!” I said, irritably.

“Is everything alright?”

“YES!” I snapped.

My mum wasn’t stupid. I was lying on my bed with the light switched off. Of course everything wasn’t alright. I expected her to leave the room, but she wasn’t moving. She was just hovering over the bed looking at me.

“What?!” I said, lifting my head off the pillow again and looking at her.

“Do you think I don’t know my own son?” she said, calmly.

And then she did something I didn’t expect. She put her hand on my leg and for some reason, my eyes watered instantly. I covered my face straight away and did everything I could to hold it in. I couldn’t stand the thought of my mum seeing me cry. I didn’t know why. I think that I wanted my mum to think I was this super strong person. Maybe then she wouldn’t worry about me so much when I wasn’t safe in my bedroom in Little Denton? Because as much as parents want to protect you, they can’t protect you from everything. It’s impossible. They can’t prevent you from meeting people who will hurt you, whether intentionally or not. And they definitely can’t stop you from having your heart broken.

“I don’t know why you always keep things from me, Noah!” she said, sitting down on the bed next to my legs.

I groaned, and took my hands away. I knew my face was a bit blotchy, but at least I’d managed to keep most of the tears in. “Because … your my mum! It’s weird talking to you about certain stuff!”

“Well you don’t have to tell me all the gory details!”

I rolled my eyes. “What do you wanna know?”

She still look concerned, but her face had softened. I could tell she was excited about what was unfolding. “Have you got a boyfriend?” she asked, with a little smile.

“Ugh!” I rolled my eyes. “Sort of!” I honestly didn’t know whether I still had a boyfriend or not.

Her next question surprised me. “Has he done something to upset you?”

“Yep!” I said, a little frostily.

“Is it worth arguing over?”

“YES!” I said, defiantly.

“Hmmm!” she said, narrowing her eyes at me.

“What?!” I asked.

“Well, I don’t know what’s happened or what he's done but I do know that you can be really stubborn sometimes, Noah!”

Ugh! Suddenly I was pissed off. I shook my head, annoyed. A part of me was tempted to tell her exactly what AJ had done.

“Fancy spag bol for tea?” she said. Apparently she’d found out everything she’d wanted.

“Go on then!” I said.

She stood up from the bed, and Little Cat lifted her head up and jumped off to follow her. “Try not to wallow too much!” she said, in a light tone.

My mum clearly didn’t understand the scale of what had happened, but that comment still made me smile a little. In fact, I was feeling considerably better than I had done after the chat with my mum.

Before she walked out of the room, she paused to ask me one more question. “This boyfriend. It’s AJ isn’t it?”

I lay my head back on the pillow. I was suddenly too embarrassed to look at her. I didn’t say anything. “I’m gonna take that as a yes!” she said. And just before she walked out, I glanced over and caught her face, which was suddenly wearing this pleased grin. I could barely believe it. I was convinced that my mum hadn’t suspected that something was going on between me and AJ. Clearly I’d been wrong.

I decided I couldn’t ignore reality for much longer. My stomach clenched tightly as I switched on my phone. It was funny though. I’d been okay with ignoring AJ, but as my phone loaded up, I was suddenly really anxious to find out whether he’d tried to get in touch. As suspected, he had. In fact, he’d sent a series of texts, dating back to two hours before. Right around the time I’d left his house.

“Noah come back.”

“I’m sorry! Please talk to me!”

“Just let me know you’re OK.”

UGH! I threw my phone on the bed in anger. Of fucking course I’m not OK, I thought. I decided that I wasn’t going to let him know anything. He could just sit there and fucking squirm.

Ignoring AJ was surprisingly easy, even when he text me the next day to ask if we could talk. I even took a little comfort in knowing that I hadn’t done anything wrong. Knowing it was all him. AJ was the one in the wrong. He was the one who’d fucked up. Even though it hurt like hell. Even though I felt like I’d never be happy again.

There were moments over the next few days when I questioned what I was doing. Brief occasions where doubt set in and I wondered if there was just the slightest possibility that I was overreacting. I mean, I got it. A lot of gay couples do mess about with other guys. And it’s no big deal as far as they’re concerned.

And if they’ve chosen to do that, and both parties are happy with the arrangement, then that’s great for them. But for me, I wasn’t sure such a thing would work. I was in love with AJ, so why would I want to be with anyone else? How could the rush of any quick blow job with a random guy in the toilets of a club compare to having sex with the man I knew and loved and worshipped?

“Oooh, he’s finally come out of his room!” my mum said one afternoon as I was getting a drink from the kitchen. I rolled my eyes and said nothing. I really wasn’t in the mood.

“Can I just ask you a question?” she asked, cautiously.

UGH!

“What?” I replied.

“Whatever AJ has done, is it worse than what that Reece Miller did to you at school?”

I scoffed. “YES!”

She narrowed her eyes. “Hmmm. Well did AJ say he was sorry?”

I looked at her in confusion. “Yeah?!” I replied, like that would make any difference.

“Well, that’s something!” she said.

What a stupid comment to make. Whether he was sorry or not was completely beside the point. An apology didn’t excuse what he’d done.

“I’m just saying,” my mum began. “That Reece Miller never apologised for telling everyone at school that you were gay, did he?”

I could sort of see her point. Reece, who was supposed to be my best friend, fucked me over and felt no remorse. But I’d always kind of known that he was a prick anyway. AJ on the other hand. He was sweet and good hearted and genuinely cared about me. He’d done one bad thing and was sorry for it. To be honest, though, I wasn’t really sure what was worse.

Over the following days I continued to ignore AJ. I was still so hurt by what he’d done, but as more time passed, I began to miss him. I kept thinking about everything that had happened over the previous few months. Even right up to a week and a half earlier when we’d been in London together. That amazing weekend in London.

I started to miss being cuddled up to him on his bed. I started to miss our cute, funny Facebook messages. Joking with him about me being a future shredded muscle freak. I started to miss being sat next to him in his car. I started to miss kissing him, the way he made me feel and the person I was when I was with him. Possibly the best version of myself there’s ever been.

I started wondering how he’d been doing. Imagining his mates at Scorpio’s and his concerned work colleagues at Tesco asking him if he was okay, because he didn’t seem like his usual self. I pictured him lying on his bed feeling down about what had happened. Regretting what he’d done and feeling awful that he’d hurt me. Wondering if and when I was going to reply to his texts.

And what if all this was just pushing him away? Surely there would be a point where AJ would give up? Where his pride would get the better of him and he’d stop trying to get in contact with me. God, maybe he’d even start texting Dale? Maybe he was doing that already?

I thought about the conversation I’d had with him in the hotel room in London about giving up on him too easily when we’d stopped being friends all those years ago. Was that what I was doing now?

There was one thing that I knew I could do to try and attempt to make myself feel better. One thing that had happened over the summer that I could try and put right. So one afternoon, while still ignoring AJ, I sat on my bed, picked up my phone and scrolled to a contact I hadn’t used for a while. Someone who I’d actively, and wrongly, been ignoring for weeks, and composed a text.

“Hey Eddie. I hope you’re okay. I know I haven’t been in touch for a while and I just wanted to say that I’m really sorry for that. You are such a great guy and we had some really fun nights together but if I’m being completely honest, I met someone else. I didn’t expect it to happen. And it took me by complete surprise. I guess it was just easier to ignore you, which I know was really wrong and (again) I really am sorry for that. I understand if you don’t want to talk to me again, but I thought you deserved an explanation. x”

As soon I pressed send, this huge wave of relief washed over me. I knew I’d done Eddie wrong, but maybe this would help to make up for it? Or at least make him think that I was a little less of a dick than he probably already did. I kind of had a feeling that Eddie would reply to my text. I wasn’t wrong. Not five minutes after I’d text him, his response came through.

“Hey Noah. Wow. Good to hear from you. Well I won’t lie, I was pretty gutted when I didn’t hear back from you, but hey, these things happen and I guess we didn’t know each other for that long. But I think you’re a great guy too, and I’m not really surprised that you met someone. I mean, you’re so fucking sweet and endearing. (And handsome too - obviously!) Whoever he is, he’s a lucky guy. I guess you’ll be going back to uni soon, but maybe we can still be friends? x”

I felt like huge wave of warmth as I looked at Eddie’s text. He really was a great guy. And even though being friends with him seemed like a really nice idea, I had a feeling that that wasn’t going to happen. That once I’d gone back to university, we’d lose touch. Still, I did what was expected and replied to Eddie, thanking him for being so understanding and telling him that I’d really like for us to still be friends. But before I finished composing the reply, Eddie sent though another text, which completely surprised me.

“Hey again. Can I just ask? The guy you’re seeing. Is it your hot bodybuilder friend AJ?”

Fuck. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t help but smile at Eddie’s text. At the cute way he’d described AJ, and also the fact that, just like my mother, Eddie had clearly been able to tell that something had been going on with us. The whole thing also gave me an unexpected buzz, while also making me think, once again, about the boy I’d spent the summer falling in love with.

It was the sound of something outside my house that initially woke me up that night. Half asleep, and unsure of whether I was dreaming, I ignored it. But then the light from my phone screen lighting up fully woke me up. It was two am and AJ was calling me. No doubt probably drunk. I won’t lie, there was a part of me that felt excited about the fact that he was calling. Just seeing his name on my phone made my insides flutter.

He hung up, and I put my phone back down beside me. And then it lit up again. AJ had sent me a text message. Two simple words which made my whole body jolt. I was panicked. Surprised. But also kind of excited too.

“I’m outside.”

What. The. FUCK?!

And then I heard something hit my bedroom window. And then again. What the fuck was AJ doing? Was he throwing stones at my window? I lay dead still for a moment, my heart thumping.

And then I suddenly heard my parents stirring from the next room and my dad’s voice and fuck, a panic shot through me.

I thought about quickly texting AJ to warn him. I guess my pride was very much still in tact at that point, though, because I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

I heard my parents frantically climbing down the stairs. Shocked and nervous at what was unfolding, I sprung up in bed, and tried to listen to what was happening. I heard my dad confronting AJ and being stern with him. I heard AJ desperately saying “I want to see Noah!” I hated how upset he sounded. I felt like crying. I had never wanted to hear or see AJ upset. I had never wanted anything bad to happen to him ever.

A part of me judged him for the incident. It was such a reckless thing to do. Coming to my house drunk, throwing stones at my fucking window. But at the same time, I don’t know, there was a part of me that liked it. It was crazy and irresponsible. And so dramatic. But it also felt oddly romantic. Him being so out of his mind and desperate to see me that he came to my house in the middle of the night. It was a like a scene from a film.

He text me the next morning.

“Hey. I’m so sorry about last night. I was drunk and I just wanted to see you. I understand if you don’t want to see or talk to me but I fly out to Ibiza tomorrow. I’ll be at home pretty much all day if you want to come round and talk. Tell your parents I’m sorry.”

I looked at the text on my phone, and something finally broke inside me. I was ready to talk to AJ again.

[Bjort]

Ohhhhh daaaaaaamn!!!!  I am pounding my fists on the desk wanting the big make up scene you teasing bastard!!!    God I love this story and check for the next chapter about eleventy jillion (yes that is a real number well in excess of the proverbial Imperial shit tonne!) times a day!  Go on muscleaddict, revel in our delight and agony!!! ARRRRRGH!!!!!

[Wrestlejock646]

muscleaddict, do you accept bribes for sneak peek previews?   These cliff-hangers are killing me--in the best way.   I was filled with  dread after you  wrote earlier that the next few chapters  were going to be up and down, yet excited to find out what was going to happen next.  As always, you didn't disappoint!  If Noah fears what could happen with AJ unleashed in London  pubs, I have to wonder what will be swirling around in his head with AJ on display in Ibiza and an island full of Dales ready to pounce.  By the way, I really despise Dale.  And I hope we see more of him too <G>.

I want to keep binge reading this story all weekend long.  I need Chapter Thirty Seven sooner than I expect you'll post it.  Like, right now.