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The Librarian - Chapter 4


dredlifter

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19 hours ago, dredlifter said:

Ahh this is my ultimate bugaboo, haha.  I do this all the time in my stories, in my emails at work, etc.  I know what I'm saying in my head but my fingers can't type fast enough so random words get dropped, lol. 

Join the club! I do it all the time!I only mentioned it because it is often hard to spot since the words are usually spelled correctly! ?

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I love your writing!  Thank you for sharing this with us.

Some of the especially vibrant sentences that caught my eye:

<snip>

Then it happened. The doomed shirt split right up the back along this erectors. The sleeves blew out at the arms. Tom could barely hear the fabric tearing as he roared loudly, looking proud and cocky in the mirror. Tom relaxed the pose and chuckled to himself. He looked like the 1970's TV Hulk after the transformation, shreds of a t-shirt hanging from his frame.

<snip>

 He had on a sleeveless shirt with large duffel bag slung over his shoulders. The strap of the bag was nestled in the gap between the pyramidal trap and his cantaloupe-sized shoulder muscle. Each exposed arm could provide any biology class a lesson in muscular anatomy. Cords of veins ran down each arm, encircling sinewy biceps and triceps that bulged off his arms even when unflexed. Tom could only imagine how much the muscles jumped if the man flexed. The veins spread out across his large forearms like parasitic vines on a tree trunk.

 

<snip>

Tom silently prepared his brain to speak as the hottest man he ever seen approached him. He was glad he was sitting at a computer desk, his crotch safely hidden underneath.

<snip>

 

Tom relaxed the stretch, stood up and turned around and froze. Jack was standing there in a small maroon tank top, plastered to his rippling, caramel colored body. The outline of his heavy square pecs clearly visible, his nipples barely visible more so because they were mostly pointing downward due the heavy development of his chest. A deep canyon formed above the neckline of the tank where his upper pecs surged upward. A large gap of air formed underneath the straps of the tank where the fabric was suspended between his huge traps and those mountainous pecs.

 

=======END=====

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3 hours ago, Mdlftr said:

Some of the especially vibrant sentences that caught my eye:

THANK YOU!  :) :)

I remember feeling especially proud of the line about his forearm veins and parasitic vines ?

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 1 month later...

Well I feel bad. I was coming to comment to "encourage" another chapter and noticed I never commented on this one when I read it. My apologies to dredlifter, because this chapter was fantastic. It sounds cliche to say it, but the story really does get better with each chapter, not just because Tom keeps getting bigger and better, but the characters and plot continue to get better and more interesting as well. The descriptions of the growth and the ever tightening clothes are some of the best on the site. So, while I know it's summer and people have better things to do (including comment on good work apparently ?), I hope to see this fantastic story continued sometime soon!

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fear not!  The rough draft of the next chapter has been written. Just need to clean it up and get approval to post it!  Stay tuned.

...and sorry for being lazy all summer.  But that's WHAT we're supposed to do in Summer, right??  ;)

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