Marquis Posted May 5, 2018 Share Posted May 5, 2018 (deleted by the author) 27 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arpeejay Posted May 5, 2018 Share Posted May 5, 2018 One complaint: In English, quotation marks in and of themselves are sufficient to signal dialogue. The preliminary dash you employ is both unnecessary and distracting. Please stop using it. Otherwise, great story. Rafael is hot and sweet, his caretaker seems like a stand-up guy, and you have done a convincing job of portraying Chad as a douchebag. Here's hoping we see more of Leigh and Rafael! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeatherGryphon Posted May 6, 2018 Share Posted May 6, 2018 Nice, fresh, new approach to this genre. Love it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marquis Posted May 6, 2018 Author Share Posted May 6, 2018 9 hours ago, arpeejay said: In English, quotation marks in and of themselves are sufficient to signal dialogue. The preliminary dash you employ is both unnecessary and distracting. Please stop using it. I'll keep that in mind. We use the dash in french to signal each time a new charachter speaks. it's actually quite convenient once you're used to it. But hey, do in Rome as the Romans do 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spacevlad Posted May 6, 2018 Share Posted May 6, 2018 I really hope you continue this! I love stories with huge, shy, submissive kinds of meatheads. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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