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sithspawn

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Sithspawn,

I'm honored that one of my comments inspired this sequel!  Glad to be of service!

 

I really liked this sequence:

<snip>

“A bit, that’s why I really needed to talk this stuff over.  I want to make sure I stay grounded and don’t go off on some ego trip.”

“Do you think that’s likely to happen?”

“I doubt it.  Thing is, when I’m like this people are either afraid or in awe of me and it gets old you know?  There’s only so many times you hear ‘You’re incredible’ or ‘You’re so big’ until it gets annoying.”

“So changing back into Chris is an escape from that?”

“Exactly!  When I shrink down to this people don’t really pay much attention to me so I can do more normal things.”

“The thing I find strange is that you almost see yourself as two different people, whereas I see both forms as two parts of the same whole.”

“Really?”

“Sure, your humanity and sense of humour from Chris make you a likeable hero, yet your self-doubt and vulnerability from worrying about your heroic deeds makes you a hero rather than being a cocksure asshole that would only do things for himself.”

“Wow, I never thought of it like that.”

“Although talking about yourself in the third person is a bit egotistical.”

“Right! For that I’m gonna get big again to watch you bone up.  And there it is.”

“Asshole!!”

“That’s not very professional.”

<snip>

 

Another thought I had:

Given that Our Hero/Chris is so invested in being able to become big and sexually enticing, what happens to his sense of self if all that goes away or can't be invoked? Think about  what happens to a pro athlete when his career ends - who is he without the gridiron/the court/the rink?  What does he do then?  

 

I really like this latest (and unexpected) episode where our hero debunks what you would think would be awesome about being a superhero - the strength is great, but how can you enjoy something when you are second guessing yourself all the time? Conversely, what if he became "normal"? Would that be "enough" for the boy friend? 

This premise could go so many ways.  Again, it's a terrific idea!  Thank you for sharing it.

Mdlftr

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On 4/23/2018 at 5:44 PM, sithspawn said:

I don't think I can do any more to this.  It's really hard to convey everything you want to as a conversation and it's hard not to make it really depressing.

You've done a great job already! Please don't take my comments as anything other than a respectful acknowledgement of all the work you put into these stories already!

I know how hard it is to write stories - the few that I've submitted over the years! 

Kudos to you!

Mdlftr

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On 4/25/2018 at 8:49 AM, sithspawn said:

No worries, I think I just chose a really hard style with this one, there’s no easy way to describe what’s going on without making the conversation sound unnatural .  It could easily be continued just not in this style.

True.  Also, if you think about it from a counseling perspective, all our superhero wants to do is vent to someone who will listen.  He's not going to change his behavior.  He likes rescuing people AND he needs to have a secret identity so he can live amongst normal people.  The number of counseling breakthroughs he's going to have will be limited.  

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