Hialmar

Hialmar's Diary

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Hialmar

Thank Deity, that I am able to schedule my hours as I wish, during the break. I need to recover from that Halloween party. And some other things.

Spent the entire morning writing on the article: A few words about the imagined past before 1811, but the main part of it describe and analyse the time 1811-today. The concept of the viking became a standard character in the Swedish imagination because a poem written that year.

Scheduled my workout to lunchtime, and arrived with my training trunk and laptop to campus in the early afternoon: Pumped, satisfied by my after-workout lunch, right out of the shower, and already wearing the compression shirt I had chosen for the Halloween party. I continued to write, but had some administrative things to do, so I went to the department where the administrators work.

The Dean was at a vacation with his family, and it seemed like several of the administrators were at vacation. The passageway with the office doors seemed almost deserted. Our admin was there, though. She took my documents, and promised to run them tomorrow (today), and suggested a coffee break (which is called fika here). I accepted, but I felt awkward when our fika habits diverged. She had sugar and milk in her coffee. I drink it black, unsweetened. She had a cinnamon roll, I avoid unnecessary fat and sugar. Which brought us to the topic of physical exercise. She joked, that she wouldn't have expected me to grow into a muscle hunk, and I didn't know what to say. Muscle hunk? I? She looked suggestively at my compression shirt, and what it revealed, and she began to stroke my forearms. Since I remained shy, she literally dragged me into the bathroom, and she seemed to like it, when another part of my mind erupted and took over the situation. I have never felt like a confident jock before, and it was actually years since I had sex with a woman (men more recently). It was like I had hidden another personality inside me all the time. When I demonstrated my strength, by lifting her up against the wall, she lost control. We fucked like two bloody happy animals, and then, giggling, moved to the shower in the cellar.

The halloween party was a rather sober affair. I suppose Swedish prices on wine and beer has something to do with it (though it is more expensive in Norway). Witches and computer game characters seem to be popular among the foreign exchange students. Some of the bright young things giggled over my Captain-America-shirt, some of the lads wanted exercise advice. I explained about how All Saints and All Souls are moved to Saturday and Sunday here, and advised them to spend time outdoors during lunchtime in winter, in order to avoid seasonal depression. They are not used to our winter. Sun sets about 4 p.m. now, and it will become worse. Some of the Americans, Irish and British seemed to be unused to Protestants celebrating All Saints and All Souls, so I had to explain about Lutherans, too: Five or six saints' annual feast days were retained at the Reformation, and have never been abolished. An I mentioned Saint Lucy – they haven't experienced a Saint Lucy pageant before, and probably will in December. Weird for a mainly Agnostic country to keep all these folk customs connected to saints.

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Hialmar

Work from home. Sun rose at about 7.30. a.m. Better than how friends up north have it. Found it hard to continue writing on the article. Drank at lot of water to re-hydrate, but then I needed some coffee. A breakfast omelette and some horse-meat. Strange, that people shun horse-meat abroad. Has something to do with Iron Age history and vikings. Vikings! Horse-meat is becoming increasingly impopular here too, because the increasing popularity of horse-riding. Otherwise, it's a valuable source of protein, and low in fat. Relatives down south will eat geese in a few weeks, but I will probably not have the time to go there.

Laser eye surgery company called. They had a cancellation, and were able to offer me surgery on my left eye, Friday, if I accepted the offer immediately. Which I did.

Feel restless. Listened to a few hypno audio files. Feel motivated again. Feel fucking literally INVINCIBLE! No workout scheduled today, have to give my muscles some time to rest and GROW, so I took a jog. Better afford some time for outdoor running, while the ground is still free from ice. When it becomes slippery, it's probably better to use the treadmills at the gym. The yellow leaves look sad now, most have fallen off, and the remaining ones are eaten by insects or slowly decomposing where they are, except for some of the birches who are sturdy. Miss gym somehow: The scent of steel, the scent of rubber mats, the noises. The clunk and chime of weights hitting weights. People grunting. Staff repairing equipment or maintaining one or another detail. The background music. Coffee and amino drinks in a corner. The shared unspoken goal of becoming healthier, leaner, bigger, harder. At least among the men. The elderly ladies goal is to follow the suggestions of their physiotherapists, and decrease their back pain after many years of hard work: An impressive generation. They built the wealth of this country, but they paid with back injuries, and fat cats got away with the wealth these women had generated. Society is better than it was one hundred years ago, but it isn't fair. It isn't fair enough.

Miss Bempa and Uffe, too. Especially Bempa. Uffe can be trying when he is drunk or when he begin to talk politics. Bempa's a reliable rock of a man, with a great sense of humour. Sounds like he's closer to my political ideas too. Wasn't sure in the beginning: Friendly alright, but he looked he could have been a Nazi, and it was only after awhile he expressed something that sounded like Labour o the Left. probably not Green, I guess. If Bempa and Uffe hadn't known each other since school, they probably wouldn't have been mates. If Bempa hadn't told me about apolitical skinheads, BRUTUS1's remarks about that skinhead look would have caused me to tell him go fuck himself, but now I understand. It's a really misunderstood subculture, because the Nazis tried to hi-jack it in 1982 and afterwards. The general public doesn't get what apolitical or leftist skins are about: The music, the concerts, the sense of style, the deep male friendship and loyalty Bempa speaks a lot about. 

I don't consider myself a skin. I'm probably too old to become one now, but Bempa is. It would be fun to see the face of The Dean if I went for the full skinhead look at campus. Uffe's got another style: more beard, less care about his choice of clothes, but a similar attitude. Friendship isn't necessarily about shared opinions. Bempa and Uffe is an example of that: bantering each other about the different sides they have taken on immigration. But both are decent blokes, Uffe despite his flaws. The working class is more honest, more sincere, doesn't pretend. I didn't see it that way, when I left my hometown for university. Dad could have been right out of a John Osborne play: "So working in the factory is not good enough to you? Literary studies? That wouldn't pay the rent, would it?". My old school mates stayed: I've seen them a few times since: Broken, disillusioned, conforming to the expectations of a milltown, devoid of personality. But Bempa is different. Honest. Decent. Alive. Hard-working. Sense of duty. Tries to be the best idea of what it is, to be a man. Old-fashioned working-class ideals. Strange that he isn't married with kettle and lids already. Lots of women would like Bempa – but probably not the women I usually meet at my workplace. They would probably better go along with hipsters reading Butler and Baudrillard. Or pretending to read Butler and Baudrillard. Or pretending to have read Butler and Baudrillard long before anyone else.

Thought about the administrator. She's cute. Didn't know what a ravenous lioness hid behind that shy and brainy exterior. Liked what she called me. I don't want to become like the cocky, sporty lads back in school days, because some of them were really obnoktious, but it feels like I'm not myself. Can it be a side effect of Gro Bro Pro? No, thats totally impossible. I'm just exploring who I am. I had more inside me than what I knew. Confident stallion. Give in. I know I like it. I know I want to let that part of myself out. But what if...? No ifs! I will give in. I will turn into... Uh. What's happening? Yes, look at those guns in the mirror! Look at this hung, cocky, buzzcut muscle beast!

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Hialmar

Uffe didn't have the time to join us at the gym. He and his Missus were shopping food at the supermarket, because of the All Hallows' weekend. They will have relatives visiting them.

Bempa and I worked out. Incredible pump. Got a hardon in the shower, and was able to hang my big towel on my dick. Caused Bempa to laugh.

Ripped my shirt-sleeves when I dressed. Bempa stared. I was annoyed, but when the harm was done already I flexed and let the damage continue to the end. Feels like I'm the bloody Hulk. I had left my compression shirt in my training trunk by mistake, so I was able to dress anyhow. Bempa liked that too. I need another jersey soon. A baggier one.

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Hialmar

Had the laser surgery on my left eye before weekend, and avoided workout. Called home to parents, wishing them a good All Hallow's weekend. They lit candles on grandparents' graves, as expected. Uffe and Bempa were preoccupied with relatives. Took a stroll in one of the local graveyards: Candle flames in the dark. Removed my protective thing over my eye, and put a contact lens in my right eye. Feel unusual, but I am able to see without glasses, which is awesome. I look less bookish now. Surgery of the remaining eye will probably happen during winter.

Still struggling with the article.

The hypno audio files are supposed to increase my training motivation and hasten my recovery after workouts, but for some reason they also make me horny and cause me to explode in cum during the part of the files I never remember afterwards. I don't complain, but it is strange that I don't remember what happens during a session, and what it is that causes that reaction. Even if I try to listen to a file without relaxing, my memory go blank.

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Hialmar

I of not had time to write in this diary for weeks! Working out almost every day now, if I include cardio days: Weit training morning and night two times a week. That means six weigt workouts a week + one cardio day, and still two days for rest. Its when you rest you GROW.

My article came back. They will not print it: "An anthropological study about viking symbolism in contemporary Scandinavian gym- and strongman milieus doesn't belong to literary studies", they say. "Åarticipating observation doesn't belong to the toolbox of the theory of literature", they say. To hell wiv the journal.

Bempa is great. He and Uffe had another of their quarrels a week ago. Uffe was ranting about gays being too visible in society and media these days. Bempa surprised both me and Uffe by coming out of the closet, so I felt comfortable to mention that I'm bi. Uffe was silent. Then he told us that it is impossible, because neither Bempa or me behave gay. Uffe's got idiotic ideas about what it means to be gay or bi, and we told him so.

The company witch sells Gro Bro Pro and those awesome hypno files sent me a e-mail about a competition. Customers using there products are invited to send them before and after pics. It didn't occur to me that I could compete, but I mentioned the competition to Bempa, and he convinced me to send the pics in. I donät expect it to leed anywere.

One of the men behind the counter at our gym demanded a urine sample from me too weeks ago but it came back negative. Now he shut up about steroid abuse, the bloody wanker.

Bempa tells me that the suspicion wasn't entierly unfounded: Bempa says it looks like I'm growing much faster than I should. Faster than I should? If I could grow faster than this, I would try to, but my results are truly incredible. My pecs and shoulders and traps devour all nutrision I eat and transform food into HARD BRAWN, and I never dreamed that my back could look like this. I'm an ecto, right? Im overcoming my obstacles. Defeating my obstacles. Breaking them down and triumphing and expanding and GROWING and BULGING of STEEL-HARD BRAWN. Life is becoming real ace. Never dreamed that THIS could look back at me when I look in the mirror: A boot-clad, denim-clad fucking VIKING with BRUISER MUSCLE.

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Hialmar

Weird. I usually watch all the lectures and sofa programs surrounding the Nobel Prize, but this year I couldn't concentrate. I actually spent time at the gym when some of the programs about the Nobel prize were broodcasted. Bempa says that my phyziqe is wicked now.

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BRUTUS1

Dude Im prety sure thats not how yu spell pyhzeek, um I mean physicue. anyway wuts a Nobel prise? Like a bodybiulding comp?

 

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On 2017-12-11 at 9:27 PM, BRUTUS1 said:

anyway wuts a Nobel prise? Like a bodybiulding comp?

Yeah, like a competition in sience. And novels. The prize in economics is not a real Nobel prize, though.

Wow. More than a month since my last page in the diary. Lots of things happened.

Spent some time with family and relatives over Xmas. Uncle was surprised of my growth. Mom doesn't like my new look, but I do. Met my old bully at the Co-op. He never left my old town. Stuck with wife, kids and boring job now. I probably weigh ten kgs more than him now. Or even 15. All muscle. None of it fat. Saw the look in his eyes. Who's tough now?

Afew days went without exersise during Xmas, but lots of Xmas food: Pickled herring, rice pudding, ham, meatballs, kale, cabbage, mulled wine. I was worried this overintake of calories would cause me headache, but my muscles seemed to absorb it all and turn it into BRAWN. So I of tweaked my eating schedule after the holiday. It seems like I need more than I though, like.

Several snow storms. Sometimes minus 8 or so. Several mild and rainy days when the snow melts away. Unpredictable wether. Steel cap boots with high necks are really, really useful in snow storm. Look good too.

Happy to take the weights up again after Xmas journey. Bempa and Uffe, too. We all took out a few payed vacation days between the public holidays, and could spend more time at the gym. Experimenting with my schedule. Was able to increes resistance of many exersises. Increased several times during December and January. Bench press 100 kgs now: 15 kgs more than my own weight. Take 230 kgs in the leg press. I'm not tall, but I'm stacking on lots of BRAWN on my frame. All the big blokes at the gym says hello to me now. Some ask advice. Sometimes I'm able to say something, other times i tell them to ask Bempa. He knows better than me. Some of the young lads ask too. I tell them to not injure their joints. They will be able to lift heavier when their joints have adapted.

Pump gets better all the time. If it continues to intensify like this, the feeling of pump will cause me to cum in my training trousers publicly one day. Caused Bempa and Uffe to laugh in the locker room: Used my dick to hang my towel on, and walked around.

Twelfthnight came and went. Had some saffron buns and mulled wine with Uffe's family. Bempa was there too. Uffe's oldest son told me and Bempa that we look like the action figures he and his friends play with. He invented a game: He will grab our outstretched arms (We will take turns) and clung to it for a few minutes, and then we compete who'll endure to keep our arms outstretched for the longest time. Bempa is better at endurance than me.

Had my second eye surgery. I see perfectly without glasses now. Bempa says it improves my look. Bempa talked me into using the tanning bed at the gym more freqwently.

Our Dean told me to not dress in combat trousers at work. I told him to mind his own business. Administrator is avoiding me, which is a shame. She's cute.

Feel angry sometimes. Want to kick public waste bins and bus stops sometimes, but I have behaved. When I arrive to the gym in that state, I'm able to lift more, and it feels better afterwards. Calm. Focused. Big. Good. Veins are becoming visible. I like when I watch myself after a workout. The bruiser that stares back in the mirror can't be me, and then I remind myself taht its me, and it feels good. Bempa reminds me to. He reassure me. Uffe is impressed to. Glad he took the info that I'm AC/DC without exploding, but it seems like he has nothing against bi or gay blokes, as long as they aren't poncey.

I take early morning walks before work now, despite the chilly temperature. Bempa believe it will give me better definition.

End of January isnt particularly stressful. Reading throug studnets' exams, and give them there degrees. The exchange students wright such posh English, though. Why can't they wright in ordinary English anyone can read? It makes my work harder.

Told Bempa about the e-mail. The company behind Gro BroPro liked my "before" and "after" pics, and want me to go abroad for some contract. Never been there before. Went to other places on vacation. Let's see. May not lead anywhere, but will be fun to see something different. Supplement companies are not my usual surrounding. Feel so motivated using there products. They even sent me a new improved hypno file to listen to before sleap. You'll not believe me: It feels like I am growing in real time at the spot right where I am, and it always ends with me cumming. Handsfree. Feel like a muscle slut now. A beefy, dominant muscle slut taking a fight with the dumbbells and the other weights almost every day. 

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BRUTUS1

Dude, thanks for the update. Sounds like yu are getting closer to the dumbass zone. Dont let the pussies at work grind yu down about wut you wear. Book dudes dont understand muscle dudes. Obvius, rite?

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Hialmar
17 hours ago, BRUTUS1 said:

Dude, thanks for the update. Sounds like yu are getting closer to the dumbass zone. Dont let the pussies at work grind yu down about wut you wear. Book dudes dont understand muscle dudes. Obvius, rite?

Rite. Obvious.

Said goodbye to the exchange students today. They are returning home tomorrow. Some of them wanted to take selfies with me. Some of them wanted me to flex when they took there selfies. It was fun.

On my way to the gym now. Snow everywhere: The crisp and clean sort, not sleet. Bempa went off his working shift five minutes ago. I'll meat him there.

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