Magic isn't real (part 1)

[gobiology]

Oh, hey. Sure, you can buy me a drink.

 

Thanks.

Hmm, you think there’s an aura about me? Why do you say that? There’s something about me that seems different…that, feels different?

 

Yeah, let me explain some things.

 

Some of you would call it magic, or godly powers, or something stupid like that. Not saying you’re stupid, but the ideas are. Kinda. You hear of these people who can squat 1000 lbs, or have 20 inch biceps, or cannot get sick, or something else that seems cool that you wish you can do…and then you try to figure out how they did it. Those things fall, sorta, within the normal realm of human possibility. But what about those people who get hit by a truck and survive? What about those people who somehow hit growth spurts in their 30s and 40s and gain inches…everywhere? What about these people who seem to fly, or can lift anything they want, or cum a gallon or more? That shit is clearly made up, right? Or, as we humans like to attribute such things, it’s clearly the work of magic? Y’all watch those Avengers movies and think that’s all made up, because it can’t be real….

 

I’m here to let you know that it’s not magic. It’s science. And I tell you that because I’m one of those…well, freaks, if you will…and I know how I do what I do.

 

You see, I have a gift. It took me a while to figure out my gift, but I got it none-the-less. I’m calling it a gift because it’s actually possible for any of you to do this – but, for whatever reason, I can and you can’t. I have the ability to change your body to, well, a lot of things. Not everything. I can’t make you a fish, and I can’t make you 30 feet tall, and I can’t make you sprout an extra cock. I’ve tried, it doesn’t happen.

 

Without going into too much detail, we are the product of two things: the environment around us, and our genetics. Nothing is one hundred percent one or the other. Why are you short? It could be your genes, but it could also be your environment. It could also be both, which sucks, but such is existence. I can’t do much about the environment, but I have the ability to influence your genetics. No, I don’t rewrite your body’s genetic code, but I can mess with your genes’ expression rates. There are these funky chemicals we give off, called pheromones, that help dictate gene expression. Again, I don’t understand this part, but I can control which pheromones and gene regulators I secrete into the environment around me. You sniff them in, you absorb them through your skin, and boom. I am now changing your genetics. The skin’s the best, though – direct contact.

 

I’m also pretty good at detecting pheromones, which is weird for guys. We don’t typically pick up on this stuff as well as women do. That’s why they’re always ‘oh, I have a bad feeling about this person,’ and all that catty shit. They’re reading pheromones.

 

Maybe it’s because I can deal ‘em, I can detect levels of pheromones being given off. Some of them are hormones excreted by your skin, which aren’t in high doses, but I can tell. Yeah, I can sniff if someone’s in heat or got performance issues or even if a person’s got cancer. That lady over there, talking to that guy who wants nothing to do with her? Her FSH is off – the – chart. Oh, you don’t know what that…nevermind.

 

I don’t know how many of you took high school biology, but let’s summarize a whole lot of shit you don’t remember succinctly: fucking with genes takes a long time, because there are lots of things going on. If I walk past you and release the chemicals to make your muscles grow, you aren’t going to gain 30 pounds in the next three seconds. That’s not possible, and your heart couldn’t handle it. I can’t make you gain ten feet in height, because your body couldn’t handle pushing blood up fifteen feet into the air. There are limits to these things, ok? Science is science. I just can fuck with what science lets me.

 

Oh, you don’t believe me? Ok. Let’s do an experiment or two. It’s gonna take some time, so you gotta be patient.

 

See that guy over there? The one talking with that tall guy having one too many Guinesses? He’s trying to gym consistently and he wants to gain some muscle.

 

How did I figure that out? You’d expect me to say I can “read minds,” but that shit ain’t possible. Ever try to figure out your own thoughts? Yeah, exactly. He’s like 5’5”, maybe 100 lbs, and he’s wearing a LVFT shirt. People who don’t lift, or want to lift, typically wear that. Shall we verify?

 

Told you. Oh, I said he has a nice brand of shirt and he smiled and said he’s been hitting the gym for about a month. He’s frustrated that the growth isn’t as fast as he’d like.

 

Why did I touch him on the arms? Ah, you weren’t paying attention, were you? Touch is the best way to deliver the pheromones. I got them to concentrate on my left hand, so when I asked to see his progress – yeah, he’s trying – I had an excuse to feel his arm and, boom. I had to apologize for having a “sweaty palm,” cuz I left his arm wet. I made sure I poured out a lot for him. Had to have an excuse, so I blamed it on the heat. It’s always hot in this bar, which sucks cuz the drinks are good.

 

He said he comes here regularly, so I said I’d get him a drink the next time I’m here and he is too, which is next Thursday. Yeah, conveniently a week from today, no? I’m pretty sure you’d want to come back to see if I’m full of shit or not. For full blown muscle growth, it typically takes a few weeks to see pounds of muscle mass to be gained. Wait, you think that’s normal? Hell no. A few pounds a year is pretty spectacular. I’m not entirely sure – I will need to smell what he’s giving off next week – but I think I gave him enough for thirty or so pounds. That’s a lot, and he’ll be showing.

 

What’s in this for you? Well, I told you an experiment or two. You’re the second experiment.

 

I can’t figure it out from what your body is dumping off, but your testosterone, hGH, FSH, dihydroxytestosterone, LH, progesterone and androstene levels smell normal. Doubting there are enzyme deficiencies. So, I’d guess you’re packing what? 6 inches? Something about average?

 

Yeah, I figured. Oh, oops. Sorry if I’m being too loud – I do like this Jaegermeister shit. I like these, um, discrepant events? You think one thing is the case, while I’ll show you’re wrong. Yeah, this works for doing other things, too. I’m still not great at the cancer thing – but I’m working on it. If I figure it out, yeah, the medical community is gonna know.

 

What about my body? Oh, I’ll explain that later. Sad story.

 

So, while we’ve been here, I’ve been pouring out as many of those hormones as I could. Hormones, pheromones, eh, they basically do the same thing. I’m giving you some other fun things that only target your dick. This will be a bit more entertaining, because you’ve been sniffing it for the past thirty minutes. It’s stuck on your clothes. You’ll keep absorbing it after I say goodbye. If I’m not full of shit – and I’m not – I’ll see you in a week with a bit more stretching your pants than I can feel right now. Yeah, it’ll take time, just like my muscle man project over there.

 

Oh, I’m good to go home – I live within walking distance. See you next Thursday.

[Ro20316]

Pretty interesting setting. Lets see how this goes

[cutlerfan]

Yes It will be great to read more of this. Peace, CF