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Deebee

Am I too sexually addicted to muscle?

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On 7/30/2017 at 3:09 PM, DaveMuscle said:

I suppose I might be in a position to answer this question, as a straight man, though obviously any answer is going to be personal. For me, muscle is always sexual in its own way, even though I'm not interested in having sex with men. It's sexual whether it's my own muscle, muscle on other guys or muscle on women. There could be men who are interested in muscle but their interest is entirely non-sexual, but I'm not certain whether there are. This is so complicated it it hard to untie all the elements. Because, I'm also interested in lifting and strength in a way that is not sexual, but achievement-based (like someone might be interested in doing a good job in home decoration, or playing an instrument well), but clearly it's not disconnected with muscle, which remains sexual (but also aesthetic in a way that might not be sexual).

Another question is whether a straight man interested in muscle is aroused by muscle on women. The answer in my case is yes, usually, but does that mean I want to have sex with them? Only maybe. There are going to be so many other factors in that decision. 

Just had to jump in here and say, Dave we are verrry similar and I love how you described this. I feel exactly the same.

This is not meant in any way to be derogatory some sort of brag, but I feel like *true* muscle fetishism means being turned on by *any* display of unusual muscularity whether male, female, or on one's self. This is usually the definition of sthenolagnia ..  "sexual arousal from displays of strength or muscles" Honestly sometimes it feels like a curse because I am so uncontrollably fascinated and aroused by muscular displays. I identify as straight (despite what my profile might say this week, or next week, etc ;) ) because when it comes to actual, live sexual contact it's women that turn me on by default, and they don't have to be muscular. But I am also turned on by most muscular men, and I would get off worshiping their muscles, and yet .. don't feel an urge for sex with them. Same arousal really when I'm getting attention for my own physique. <sigh> it's very complicated, like Dave said....  any case, it's very cool to have a forum to air this stuff out with others who feel the same urges, sometimes the same way, sometimes differently but there's always that unifying base-level fascination we have in common.  :)

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3 hours ago, acd889 said:

Just had to jump in here and say, Dave we are verrry similar and I love how you described this. I feel exactly the same.

This is not meant in any way to be derogatory some sort of brag, but I feel like *true* muscle fetishism means being turned on by *any* display of unusual muscularity whether male, female, or on one's self. This is usually the definition of sthenolagnia ..  "sexual arousal from displays of strength or muscles" Honestly sometimes it feels like a curse because I am so uncontrollably fascinated and aroused by muscular displays. I identify as straight (despite what my profile might say this week, or next week, etc ;) ) because when it comes to actual, live sexual contact it's women that turn me on by default, and they don't have to be muscular. But I am also turned on by most muscular men, and I would get off worshiping their muscles, and yet .. don't feel an urge for sex with them. Same arousal really when I'm getting attention for my own physique. <sigh> it's very complicated, like Dave said....  any case, it's very cool to have a forum to air this stuff out with others who feel the same urges, sometimes the same way, sometimes differently but there's always that unifying base-level fascination we have in common.  :)

awesome speeches i would say i am the same though i dont like females with muscles as it is not sexy what so ever. also i am not straight and i really am sexually interested in muscle on men no matter what they do as well as being attracted to men in general. hope no one is offended about what i said about females it is my honest opinion. i get they want to be fit and healthy but in my eyes muscles only look good on men. female athletes get a way with it as they need it to do Olympic sports and other intense physical activity

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On 7/13/2017 at 4:05 PM, Deebee said:

I'm a 34 year old gay guy. I've been into muscle as long as I can remember. I didn't start masturbating till relatively late in my teen years, and when I did, it was obviously to photos and videos of muscular guys, as assisted by online venues like this one. 

I have not been very lucky in love, but I'm a good enough looking guy that I've been able to go out with a number of buff guys, and hook up with others. I'm always really obsessed with their muscles, and can't wait for them to flex, and let me feel them up, etc. Some are into it, some less so (weirdly, to me). 

Anyway, here is the problem. I've been single for a very long time, and I feel relatively resigned to it. My worry, however, is that part of the reason I'm so resigned to it is because I've become so resigned to my fetish and the limitations of it. I like masturbating to muscular guys, and I like occasionally using real-life muscular guys for sex. But I feel this is ultimately a very shallow, dehumanizing, transactional way to look at men, and a mindset that is not healthy, particularly at my age, when I really should be putting more effort into getting into a relationship. Yet I feel my primary interest in men always drifts into the sexual, and for things to be sexually interesting, there has to be muscle involved.

I don't know. Does what I'm describing ring true to anyone else here? Surely it must. I'd be curious to hear your thoughts, and if any of you have overcome similar feelings of being trapped.

 

Everyone has different experiences, and I will add my own. I've spent some 50+ years of working actively on how to integrate my love of muscle in a healthy way in my life. I have come to the conclusion that sexual desire has two components: one is the basic sexual energy we all have, a vital part of being a human being that seeks expression, and the second one is usually a more primal fundamental desire. The best way is to explain it like this: we all have primal desires for companionship, and this desire for companionship will combine with sexual energy to form our drive for our sexual desires for a partner. But, as most people on this board surely realize, and most people with fetishes should learn to understand so they don't feel like freaks, is that there are other fundamental desires that also hitch a ride with sexual energy. In my case, I've accepted the fact that I really like perfectly fit, chiseled muscular guys. But I've also discovered that my interest in muscle has nothing to do with wanting to be with someone else, and has everything to do with me looking for youthful vitality and strength. And honestly, this fetish is insane in that regards, it actually does give me energy and strength. It is what keeps me active, fit and motivated to stay fit. As several have expressed here, trying to have sex with a guy that is into muscle is going to be an exercise in frustration if you're both not into it for the same reason, because each guy is just going to be into it for either his own muscles or admiring the other guy's muscles. Because in fact that is exactly what it is about, a desire for muscle. In other cases it might be related to being dominated or wanting to dominate. In either case, these drives have little to do with partnering up and/or procreating.

When it comes to partnering, though, I have never included muscles as a requirement, either for myself being admired or for admiring someone else. When I meet people in real life, it's their mannerism, their face, their character that drives everything. I happen to be on the straight side of the Kinsey scale, but I have also felt attraction to some men, I am mostly 80% women, 20% men when it comes to partnering. For the most part I find the muscle desire to be rather disconnected from the partnering desire. I've seen people (women or men) with hot muscle bodies and have no interest in them. Yet the people (women or men) I do get interested in from a partnering perspective rarely are super hot bodies or rarely are muscle hunks/hunkesses.

What works for me is to be aware of the root of my desire and honor it accordingly. If I am looking for vitality and health, I will focus on muscle, and I am happy to look at photos of beautiful chiseled young guys I want to look like, but mostly I prefer to focus on myself, because it's more realistic and also makes me feel more sexy for when it comes to partnering. When I desire closeness with someone else, then I will focus on that instead, and the muscle thing will then take a back seat, I may still leverage it but it's not the primary driver anymore. 

I have thought about what it would be like to actually be able to combine both - have a super sexy muscle partner. But then what happens when they get sick and the muscles are gone? I don't think muscles are a good foundation for a relationship. Muscles make for fun sex play, so I personally don't make them part of the mating dance.

One last word around addiction: there's no such thing as sexual addiction, it's been proven through brain scans that the brains of people on porn do NOT look like the brains of people on dope. So don't believe the media hype, it's BS. Yes, there are people who have boundary problems and they go and fuck everything that moves, and go look to do kinky and forbidden things because those things are just so much more arousing. And they often are willing to trash their marriages and careers for it. But that's a compulsive spectrum disorder, not an addiction. At the end of the day, sex is more like food, in that you can do it too much in order to escape from uncomfortable feelings and you can do it compulsively. So it's important to have good boundaries on what behavior is appropriate and beneficial and when. But in itself, a muscle fetish is just a muscle fetish and can be part of a healthy sexual life.

BTW, here's what I consider to be the epitome of muscle perfection.

 

 

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This thread really struck a cord with me.

I have an emotional and physical attraction to size and muscle. Physical attraction is straight-forward; if I could, I would explore, fondle, and have my way with every part.

But I marvel at guys who tower over me, even if I'm not in the least bit sexually attracted to them. I love to feel small, safe, and protected. That is a good portion of where the emotional aspect comes into play. I want to be engulfed in the shelter of large, strong muscles. I love size differences and would love to be literally swept off my feet and carried.

One of my primary love languages is service, which factors into my interests in BDSM. There's something really sexy about a strong, masculine man laboring, fixing something, or otherwise taking care of something. To have a huge, devoted muscleman---someone I can rely on to get the job done, whatever that may be---is the dream.

Of course, I want someone who loves me, supports me, is nurturing, doting, and is everything you would want in a meaningful romantic relationship....but a part of me would question if a tiny guy who looks susceptible to a slight gust of wind could realistically meet those emotional needs. It can feel really shallow at times, but it's like that is the reality of my emotional needs.

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This has been a very interesting read, from many points of views, straight, gay, bisexual, etc. It's great to see everyone's opinions on the love and fascination of muscle.

I started liking muscles ever since I was about 10 years old when bodybuilding on TV was in it's prime and very widely televised. I think my fascination with men and muscles started long before I even knew I was gay. Back then, I loved their muscles but didn't know what being gay meant, and I had not ever thought of men in a sexual way, yet. That didn't come until later.

 

Anyway, sometimes I wondered if I was only attracted to guys with muscles and maybe I wasn't really gay, but just attracted to guys with that body type. I found out later on that it wasn't true, since I had my first attempt at a long distance relationship with a guy who wasn't muscular at all, except he had some nice legs. Back then, I liked him for who he was, not what he looked like, which is one of the most important things to remember when finding a partner. the muscles are nice, but it's more about what is on the inside that counts, as I've found out the hard way, at different times in my life.

now as far as the Female physique goes, I don't really find the bodybuilder style women's physique beautiful because women lose alot of their beauty and start looking like guys with all the testeserone that they have to take. There are women out there that have a beautiful looking swimsuit style model type physique with muscle on them to look attractive without overdoing it. I've never been with a woman sexually, so I don't know if I would get hard around a women, feeling her muscles or not. Even I know a gorgeous woman when I see one. But just from looking a pretty woman, I don't get aroused. But I can see a very attractive guy with or without muscles and get aroused, instantly.

I would have to do some foreplay or something with a woman to determine if I would get hard or turned on by it. if I did, then I can say I'm bisexual. I've done foreplay and lots of kissing and such with guys, so I know I'm attracted to men, sexually too, not just the muscular fetish.

Also, I will be 40 years old in December of this year, and I have still not lost my virginity yet. In my 20s, I always had this fantasy of losing my virginity to a big strong muscle stud, who is just as nice of a person as his body is beautiful. But unfortunately, fantasies like that don't become a reality, especially since, what a muscular doctor friend of mine once told me, that if you want a muscle guy, you have to get muscles of your own. Muscle attracts Muscle. But sometimes that's not always true. There are muscle guys who like thinner guys, since the thinner guys sometimes appreciate muscle more. I can't speak for those big muscle types who appreciate muscle, just as much as thinner guys, but this is just from my point of view and how I feel.

Muscle worship can be sexual or non-sexual. In my opinion, I feel muscle worship can be the most rewarding experience for both involved, no matter what your sexual orientation is, and it can be better than any sex, sometimes. Because both parties leave satisfied. the bodybuilder leaves feeling loved and appreciated for his hard work building up his physique, and the muscle worshipper is left with the memories of an experience that is wonderful beyond words.

Any of you remember the last time you were left speechless and overwhelmed with emotion after making love with the person you loved the most for the first time. Although you could have had sex many times with many people, when you find someone you love, it doesn't become about having sex anymore. Making love is so much different than having sex. When you make love to someone, you worship them, mind, body, and soul. Sometimes I feel muscle worship can be like this as well.

I define muscle worship as making love to the muscular individual with my hands and kissing over the body with my lips. At least to those who don't mind having their muscles kissed. I know some straight guys who don't mind it, as long as it's muscle worship related.

And I think, through muscle worship, you can make love to a straight man too, without crossing any sexual boundaries. Because you are loving and appreciating him for what his has accomplished through hard work in the gym, for the person that he is, and for giving you the opportunity to experience his hard work through the art of his physique.

Plus, you can make love to someone, without actually being in love with them as well. I think if more straight men saw it this way, they wouldn't be so creeped out when it comes to muscle worship.

I personally don't feel there's anything wrong with admiring a straight man's physique or wanting to feel his muscles, as long as you keep in your mind that nothing sexual will happen and that you respect that he is straight. I think once most straight men understand this and aren't so weirded out by it, then they can actually relax and enjoy the attention as well, without being judged by others for it.

Because most times, straight men are worried that people will question their sexuality if they're associated with anyone whose gay or anything that is seen as gay. If you know the truth about yourself, that's all that really matters. What people think or say about you shouldn't matter.

Feel free to share your opinions about my post. Sometimes I can get my point across well and other times, I can't, so If anything said here is offensive to any of you, who are straight, I sincerely apologize, and you can probably put you own point of view on it, in a way that I can understand it better, from a heterosexual point of view.

In this world, there should be something for everyone to enjoy without be judged or criticized. Those of you who said the love and fascination of muscle is definitely a very complicated thing, was definitely right. There's no real easy way to explain it. You just know that you love it, you love the people who have it who have worked their asses off to get it, and you want to share the experience with them, in a way that is still very much frowned upon by many. We all love the attention our muscles get us when they look good and we are proud of our accomplishments. 

I don't think there should be anything wrong with that. We are after all, only human.

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