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Dad's Lost Glory Years (Updated MAY 26: CH 20)


dredlifter

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On 3/22/2017 at 1:45 PM, Bear said:

 

Just a note, I often use images of this guy when I think of Chad.  Your character is much bigger, but I think the "visual attitude" is similar.  I thought I'd share.

GentleGiant

(BTW: If you want to delete this and leave things more solidly to the reader, I'm OK with that.)

 

Wow, he's a beast, too bad his account is private.  No worries to me on posting this!  I do like that you posted a link to him instead of an actual pic.  That way if people are worried about jeopardizing their visualization of Big Chad they don't have to click on the link;)

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I kind of hope the height tales of soon, personally not a fan of the height but your writing is incredible and I'm invested in the story wondering what will happen next 

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So great! I love the "mini" growth spurt from Chad. He just keeps getting huger and huger.  The way he's going, I'm sure he'll make his goal of 400 pounds by the contest, if not blow way past it.  And maybe he'll do it at 7 feet or more.  I hope Jed holding off on relieving himself spurs a "mini" spurt in him too or maybe even a bout of the "flu" like what Chad had a few chapters ago. Poor Ted just seems like he's being left behind, but I kind of think that's cool if he sees Chad, and then maybe Jed too, just become massive to him. It would make sense, since they share genes and Ted does not. Of course, if you decide to make Ted's treatments more effective now that he's done with his contest, that would be A-Okay too!

BTW, I also love the Airplane! and Seinfeld references.  One of my favorite movies and TV shows.

As always, I'm looking forward to the next awesome chapter!

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What you've done here is impressive on so many levels.  Clearly the feedback you're getting here confirms that.  What I think makes this work is how well you ground the fantasy in reality. You get things like contest prep, heavy duty training, Ezekiel bread, the excitement at the expo right. They all feel real and part of these characters' world.  This attention to detail makes me excited to see this incredible fantasy character, Chad deal with the realities of a modern bodybuilding competition in at least two possible scenarios you've cleverly alluded to that feel realistic---although he's a man mountain, maybe Chad could get beaten by a guy with a smaller more pleasing or ripped physique in the same way that Ted judged the competition for a light heavy over a super-heavy during Dallas' show (lots of bodybuilding examples--I keep thinking of guys like Markus Ruhl or Eli Hanna in this situation) or, like in that same show, Dallas could use politics to unfairly sway the judges.

 

The way you use Ted to provide information and expertise in so many chapters without overloading the story with expository detail is just brilliant.  Ted is way more than a device though, I really get a sense of this decent, honest guy who is trying to maximize his average ability.  He is the everyman who gives his gifts (knowledge, expertise, science connections, his wife!!!) to forge our superhuman hero, Chad.  While I love the interaction between these characters, it's sometimes hard to see Ted so completely (albeit goodnaturedly) emasculated by the narrative although his nornalness enhances the fantasy of Chad.  I was hoping for a victory for Ted in the competition but you took a more realistic approach and also allowed our villain Dallas to take the overall. I think these are both stronger choices than I would have made because I like Ted so much and want him to get a big moment.

 

Your balancing act between likability and mega alpha male superiority in Chad is also a piece of brilliance.  Being this alpha guy that can command the room like a god is the fantasy you are taking on and yet keeping Chad from devolving into a complete jerk is a nice tightwire act and so far you've pulled it off.  This is especially true where you get away with Chad having sex with Ted's wife and still keeping their ongoing friendship believable.  As Chad becomes less realistic and more superhuman, this seems like it might become trickier although you've laid excellent groundwork here.  So far you've kept Chad's strength within recognizably human achievement but pretty soon with his size, it seems like he will be shattering world records and will this garner him celebrity?  You have opened the door with Chad's exploits at the expo and his upcoming contest.

 

In many ways Jed is the most problematic character.  As a narrator he exists to provide info on Chad's development.  You've touched on his own emasculation at the exploits of his father and an almost reverse Oedipal situation where the dad not only sleeps with Jed's former girlfriend but her friend at the same time and easily pleasures them BOTH simultaneously better than Jed.  This is incredibly hot as a scenario but it seems like Jed would have some more anger at his father than he does.  However, the good natured camraderie between uber alpha dad and normal alpha son is also a pleasure to read.  I'm very glad you did explore Jed's alpha qualities in the expo chapter and look forward to seeing Jed develop further in this direction. Jed's exploits also realistically relieves the narrative of possible Jed resentment against Chad.  What is ultimately stunning about your achevement here is that Jed should feel like a device and yet you've touched enough issues for him to be his own presence in the story.

 

Thanks for the tremendous work you've done here.  I'm looking forward to what you have in store for us.

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