superhero Marvelous Man - Chapter 4

[EcchiMultiverse]

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Chapter 4: License to Hero

Marvelous Man floated high in the air as he thumbed away at a smartphone he found when searching his jacket’s pockets for a phone. After the PB&J Gang’s escape, he decided to take Octomentist’s advice and research the Arkos Division and the DMR. Skimming a few articles and the company homepage, Marvelous Man discovered the Arkos Division is one of three global private superhero companies. Their specialty lies in alleviating scientific problems like runaway war machines or mad scientists. Arkos Division mainly recruits heroes that achieved their powers through technological or biological means. As for the Department of Metahuman Registration, they exist for people with superpowers to be registered and have the chance to be employed. Other than that, there was nothing but websites garnered to hating the DMR.

Marvelous Man did not bother to look further into the hate and tried to find directions to the local DMR. His phone managed to locate a DMR building close by; prompting him to take off in the direction his smartphone pointed to. Evening rush hour had started with other superheroes zipping by him and a flock of geese nearly crashing into him as he made his way.

Upon arriving at the Department of Metahuman Registration building, Marvelous Man gently landed in front of the entrance. He noticed that the building itself was dull. It had no unique shapes to its architecture, nor any statues stationed about. It was just a big bricked building reaching five stories high with its sign nailed near the glass entrance door. Colorful costumed folks and normally dressed citizens entered and exited every few seconds.

Taking in a big inhale for a feeling of confidence, he then strode into the building. Inside was a lobby paved in white with rows of chairs strewn about; some were empty, but others were filled with the people he saw going in. Marvelous Man noticed a line of people queuing in front of the Information Desk and decided to get in line.

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After fifteen minutes of painfully inching forward with only basic gaming apps to occupy him, Marvelous Man made it to the front. He approached the Information Desk when the old Philippino lady behind the desk shouted next. He leaned on the blue counter to be at a closer eye level with the clerk. She smelled like melons and cantaloupes.

“How can I help you, sir?” she asked.

Marvelous Man hesitated, “Ummm, I’d like to register myself to the DMR?”

The clerk nodded and immediately fired back with a serious face.

“As a superhero or a metahuman civilian?” questioned the DMR clerk.

Marvelous Man frowned with confusion. Was it not obvious by the way he was dressed that he wants to be a superhero? Then again, he did have his golden athletic cup suctioned on to his gifted front with nothing to cover his over-enhanced back end. For all that woman in front of him knew, he was just a metahuman stripper.

He smiled, “...Superhero.”

The clerk shuffled about; finding specific papers and then typing at the computer stationed next to her. A small receipt printer printed out a ticket with big black numbers on it. Ripping the ticket out of the printer, the clerk pulled out a clipboard from underneath the desk and clipped the paperwork and ticket on it. She then highlighted a couple of sections on the paperwork with her highlight marker before handing the clipboard to Marvelous Man.

“Please have a seat and fill out the paperwork with your real name. There’s another box on there where you can list your superhero name if you so choose to. Please know that your real name will not be made available to the public and will be protected by the US government under the Mask Act of 1934,” explained the clerk.

She continued, “However, you have the right to make your name public and can do so by selecting the box on that form I just gave you. The box has a warning listed above it explaining the dangers of publicly releasing your real name. Please have your forms filled out with proof of ID before your number is called. If at anytime during your grading, you can tell your inspector that you wish to opt out of being registered as a superhero and be registered as a metahuman civilian. Do you have any questions?”

"Ummm, no. Thank you," said Marvelous Man.

He turned around and walked about the lobby; searching for two empty seats next to each other to comfortably support his bulky body. The words the clerk said echoed in his head, but all that information felt garbled like static snow on a television screen. Finding an empty set, he settled himself down on the small seats, each of his bare glutes filling up chair.

Marvelous Man stared at the paperwork and felt lost. This was nothing like the comic books he read, and it was nothing like back at home. In that fake world, he never had to worry about social security numbers and technical paperwork that drowned comical human resources and accountants into late overtime. He realized that this was the real world and proceeded to quietly sigh with his eyes closed; letting out his frustration and trying to calm down. Marvelous Man was in his twenties and must do boring adult things if he wanted to accomplish his childish dreams.

Looking back at the forms and ticket number, he questioned if he even had a social security number or ID. Marvelous Man tapped at the clipboard and thought that his first step of tackling this grown up hurdle was finding his proof of identification. Obviously, one would find such a thing in a wallet. Slipping his right hand into the pocket of his black jacket, he focused his thoughts at finding a wallet. After all, he guessed that he would find a phone in his magical pockets, and a smartphone appeared.

Feeling his fingers grip a soft rectangle, he pulled out the object to reveal a black leather wallet. Marvelous Man smiled at his small discovery and luck. He opened the wallet and found within: a crisp twenty dollar bill, a shuriken throwing star, a driver's license of Justice Starr, a social security card, a frozen yogurt restaurant stamp card with three of the five slots stamped, a credit and debit card, and an XL wrapped condom(ribbed for his or her pleasure). Retrieving the driver's license and social security card, he began filling out the DMR superhero registration papers.
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  "Now serving: E-626 at window number five," echoed a feminine voice.

Looking up from his smartphone, Marvelous Man glanced at his ticket and noticed that it matched what the automated announcer said. It was about time they finally called him up, because he had been waiting for over forty-five minutes. He then made his way to booth window five which looked no different than the Information Desk he visited.

After getting situated with the teller and giving his completed forms to them, Marvelous Man was guided through a set of doors, located next to the Information Desk, to a basic medical room with a medical bed, medical equipment, and a sink. There, he was examined by a nurse for a vision test, heart rate and blood pressure check, and questioned for any allergies. Upon completion, the nurse guided him through the hallway to a locker room filled with other men and told him to store any equipment or magical tools that are removable into the lockers. Marvelous Man could only leave with unremovable equipment and his own bare undergarments on if he wanted to proceed. The nurse then explained how to lock his locker with the digit pad on the locker door and to look at the sign outside the locker room and then proceeded to leave.

Marvelous Man knew that his bracelets were not going to come off, because he needed them for his powers to stay unlocked. However, his golden athletic cup, wreath, boots, and jacket needed to be stored away in order to continue his superhero registration process, but that led to another problem. He would be nude if he took off his cup, and he knew they would not allow him to process if he were naked.

Walking to the nearest row of lockers, he passed by a few undressing superheroes as he stood in front of an available locker he randomly chose. Marvelous Man opened his locker as he tried to observe the other men. The two men in his locker row stuffed their costumes into their individual lockers before slamming it shut and inputting their own digit passwords using the pin pad. Clad only in their underwear, the other men then made their way to the locker room exit; leaving Marvelous Man the only person in the locker row.

He took a breath and concentrated on what he could accomplish. Placing his hand on his athletic cup, he pulled with force; expecting resistance. The cup’s suction immediately released with a popping sound and leaving the uncupped goods hanging in the cool air. Marvelous Man felt a bit disappointed at his action. It felt so good and natural to have his meaty portions canned in such a soft container. Placing his jewel-encrusted cup back into his jacket, he focused on his next: getting semi-clothed.

Marvelous Man really wished he went back to retrieve his peanut buttered battle bikini, but he was so caught up in the moment of being recognized as a hero that he forgot. It would have been great if his flagged garment was magic, then it could have come right back to him.

A thought occurred to him. His clothes were actually magical. They appeared when they transformed. So why shouldn’t his costume reappear if he were to transform again? Marvelous Man placed his bracelet-covered wrists together above his head.

He exclaimed, “Marvelous Muscle Magic, Metamorph!”

The familiar vacuum he felt during his transformation appeared about himself. He could feel his jacket, boots, and wreath explode into scattering light particles, while he sailed in the empty space. After feeling his costume completely ebb away, the vacuum surrounding himself immediately dissipated as his bare feet graced the locker room’s cold floor. Reappearing in his naked glory, it was none other than Justice Starr.

Justice looked down at himself and bent down slightly to glance over his pec shelf.

“Oh, right. I wasn’t wearing anything when I transformed,” observed Justice, “Well...at least I know it works. I should probably get some clothes soon.”

Repeating his arm motion and chanting the words, Justice transformed back into Marvelous Man. He shivered and hugged himself after once again experiencing the ribbon tentacles molesting every sensitive part of his body.

“That’s definitely gonna take a while to get used to,” remarked Marvelous Man.

Taking off his equipment except for his bikini, Marvelous Man placed the contents with the locker and slammed it shut. He then inputted a complex, four-digit pin: 1-2-3-4.

Marvelous Man felt secure in his combination and headed towards the locker room’s exit. In the hallway, he noticed a sign informing to metahuman registrars to head to the gymnasium for in-depth grading; the “You are here” map attached to the sign was an immense help for Marvelous Man as to which direction he should take.

After a couple of twists and turns in the hallway, the map’s directions led him to a spacious gymnasium room with gymnastic equipment and a running track being used by other registrars. There was a machine that looked like it could fit a person to measure their strength with slots to put their arms and feet in located in the far corner. Marvelous Man felt confident about his ranking and knew he would score high.

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Sitting in a small office, a small man swiped and poked a digital tablet at his desk, while Marvelous Man sat across from him. The man’s stubble showed days had gone by since shaving, and his white dress shirt was wrinkled with slight stains scattered amongst the sleeve’s fabric. His nametag held the name, Tim. The sound of tablet pawing carried on in the awkward silence as Marvelous Man smiled with assuredness.

Tim looked up with a small smile, “So looking at your results, you are going to be registered as a D-Rank superhero.”

Marvelous Man stopped smiling; a confused expression took over his face.

“Wh-...What?” he said.

Tim repeated, “I said-”

“N-No, no. I heard what you said. It’s just that...wh-what? I’m a Rank D? Not a B or at least a C?” questioned Marvelous Man.

Tim looked down at his tablet, “Mmmmmm...Nope. D-Rank. See the thing is, you’re not as super as you think you are.”

“I’m not?! But I can fly and heal, and I got super strength!...sir,” spoke Marvelous Man.

Tim swiped at his tablet, “Yeeeeaaaah, that’s the thing. Your strength test on the pressure machine shows that you can lift four tons. That’s not actually impressive for super strength.”

“It’s not?!” exclaimed Marvelous Man.

Tim shook his head, “Nope. It barely qualifies as super strength. See...the strongest unenhanced human in history was Louis Cyr, and he could lift two tons. So being able to do twice that is pretty...marvelous, but not really super. If I had to hazard a guess, you’re only that strong because of your size and the strength needed to keep you standing up and staying nimble. And I’m guessing you’ve had a lifetime of intense training with really great genes from your parents to get as big as you are now. At the very least, your amazing strength is not only in your arms, but also in your legs too. So super jumps are no problem for you. Gotta say, I’m surprised you can run faster than an Olympian sprinter when you’re built like a tank.”

Marvelous Man said nothing; shocked by what he heard as Tim tapped on his device. His parents raised him and gave him their essence to become a superhero. Just how super was he not?

“You mentioned your flight ability, right? The flight course the DMR put you through didn’t really have much to say. It’s super that you can levitate your body and maneuver through the courses hoops, but that’s about all you can do. You were clocked at thirty miles per hour, which is the same as your running speed,” continued Tim.

Tim halted his talking for a moment, while swiping at his gadget.

He resumed, “Going down the list of tests done to test the powers you wrote on your registration form, there was positive results about your healing and light ability. You were able to illuminate the registrars and heal their broken bones and bruises, from the combat testing, in a short amount of time.”

Marvelous Man perked up at hearing the review. Perhaps there was still a chance at getting his rank upgraded from a D to a C.

“And then there’s the invulnerability testing,” said Tim.

Marvelous Man hesitated, “...what about it?”

“Well, your nerve endings aren’t super at all. They still react like a normal person’s does...probably even worse since the nerves aren’t destroyed if nothing breaks through your skin,” said Tim.

Marvelous Man grew frustrated, “But...what does that have to do with my bullet-proof skin?”

“You got shot with a rubber bullet and keeled over,” spoke Tim.

Marvelous Man shot back, “Hey, shots to the gut will always hurt.”

“Be it as that may...the same result happened again with a real bullet. Knowing now that your body’s pain receptors are very normal, it could become a liability in the fight against powerful villains. You may be able to survive deadly hits, but the pain from receiving those hits could paralyze you. But just so you know, this flaw is not counted against you in the grading of your rank. After all, your body was able to stop the bullets, and that’s what matters. I just wanted you to be aware of your limits,” said Tim.

Marvelous Man sighed, “So...what? I’m a D-Rank, cause I’m not super enough? Did I do terrible at the combat testing too?”

“Actually…” paused Tim, “You did great on that. You were able to handle the sparing robot’s competition sparring mode and won against its level nine combat mode. Who taught you?”

Marvelous Man wondered if he should tell the truth. At this point, would it really matter, since he already wrote down his real name? It’s shown that he’s not as powerful as his parents thought he would be.

“My papa. He’s the God of War,” he said.

Tim looked up before shrugging and returning to his tablet swiping. A few seconds later, he set down his device and crossed his fingers. He gazed at Marvelous Man with a compassionate face.

Tim spoke, “Look, I know this isn’t what you wanted. But unless you can shatter a building with your own fist or can run fast enough to go back in time, most superheroes will either end up in E or D-Rank or sometimes C. You do have the qualifications to become a C-Rank, but you lack one thing and that’s experience.”

“...I don’t understand,” frowned Marvelous Man.

Tim explained further, “You don’t have any field experience. You could get trained by the God of War himself to take on all the sparing bots in the world. But it just doesn’t mean jack if you can’t apply that to real combat and show you have the nerves to handle the stresses of fighting supervillains. Field experience is why normal people who served in the army can get a D-Rank if they want to become a superhero. Though you gotta watch your back if you ever fight a normie that’s above a D-Rank.”

Tim coughed; trying to get back on topic as he noticed he was going off track.

“Anyways, there’s a silver lining to all this,” spoke Tim.

Marvelous Man sighed, “And what’s that?”

“Well, for one, you don’t have to take a morality test. Because of some superheroes using excessive force in the past when fighting normal criminals or even the nonthreatening supervillains, Congress passed a law for sensitivity courses for newly registered heroes and the ones that committed excessive force. The bill doesn’t get enacted until a month from now,” said Tim.

He continued, “The other thing is that you have to get some field experience, and you can get promoted to C-Rank. So if you join a mom & pop team or something for at least a year, you can file for a promotion. Though if you get caught up in something newsworthy, like saving the world, that stuff will get you automatically promoted. Though if you get an upgrade in your powers somehow, you can go through the DMR testing again to get promoted.”

“...Okay,” nodded Marvelous Man.

“Oh, and one last thing,” remembered Tim, “Since you’re a D-Rank, you qualify for trademark over your name. And since the name isn’t used by anyone in the US, you have full custody over your name and image. Anyone using your hero name or likeness for profit is liable to be sued by you. This right for trademark is available for everyone that is D-Rank or above. Anyways, congratulations on becoming a registered superhero. Head back to the lobby, and you’ll have your photo taken for your hero ID.”

Tim held out his hand to offer a hand shake. Knowing that Tim was just doing his job, Marvelous Man tried to smile and shook Tim’s hand with a gentle shake.

“Thank you, sir” said Marvelous Man.

Tim smiled, “No problem. Have a nice day.”

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After having his photo taken and his new hero ID printed for him to carry, Marvelous Man exited the Department of Metahuman Registration’s glass doors. He finally understood why there was so much hate towards it.

A white woman with bunned up blond hair took notice of him. Clacking in her heels as fast as she could, the woman waved at Marvelous Man with one arm with her other clutching her rubber-padded tablet.

“Marvelous Man! Mr. Marvelous Man!” exclaimed the woman.

Marvelous Man stared at the woman waddling up to him. She wore a light blue business outfit complimented by blue-rimmed glasses and color matching heels.

He flexed an eyebrow, “...Yes? Can I help you?”

Reaching within arms-length of the ebony hero, the woman stopped and held out her hand.

“Hi, I’m Peachy Lexton. I’m a scouting agent for the Nemesis Branch,” sparkled Peachy.

Marvelous Man shook her hand with the strength of a toddler.

He smiled down at her, “How do you do?”

“Fine, thank you,” smiled back Peachy, “I’m here on behalf of the Nemesis Branch to talk about your future. As you may or may not know, the Nemesis Branch is one of three global private superhero companies. Our company specializes in combatting apocalyptic-type problems like alien invasions or world-destroying beings.”

“And you want to recruit me to help fight that stuff?” questioned Marvelous Man.

Peachy pursed her lips, “Ummm, not exactly, no. You see, Nemesis Branch only accepts the best of the best, which means getting superheroes that are B-Rank or higher. But we make special exceptions for C-Ranks.”

“But I’m not a C-Rank. I’m a D-Rank hero. And even if I was C-Rank, what special exception would your company make for me?...Wait, how’d you know my name? I’m not part of a superhero team yet,” spoke Marvelous Man.

Peachy gave a professional smile, “Well you see, Mr. Marvelous, the moment you’re registered, your superhero name and profile get released publicly for all superhero organizations to look at if by chance they want to immediately hire you for the certain qualities you possess. Of course, we hold no knowledge over what your secret identity is if you did not sign the waiver to publicly disclose that. With Nemesis Branch, we have our system put a ping on newly registered heroes with special abilities we’re looking for and anybody B-Rank and up.”

“Oh...so what’s my special ability that you’re looking for then?” asked Marvelous Man.

Peachy tapped her black, rubber-padded tablet.

She replied back, “Well, our systems detected that you have the ability to heal injuries. Is that correct?”

“Yeah, but I’m not sure what I can and can’t heal. I just know that I can mend bones and cure poison,” admitted Marvelous Man.

Peachy’s eyes grew wide.

She grinned, “Really?! That’s amazing! Well, I’m not sure if you realize this, Marvelous Man, but metahumans with the power to heal are very rare. The ones that become superheroes are rarer. And with your invulnerable skin, well, you’re practically a diamond in the rough. Most known superhero healers are pretty fragile and are usually kept away from the action if they can help it. But you can be a valuable field medic, since it would be harder for most attacks to be...lethal against you.”

“So...you don’t want me to punch stuff and say a cool catchphrase.  You just want me to be used as support for the other heroes?” said Marvelous Man.

Peachy paused, “Well...yes. But you can still say a cool catchphrase while giving the other heroes a second wind. You could say...Oh! You could say, ‘Heroes never die!’ or something like that.”

“I guess...,” sighed Marvelous Man.

Peachy fished into her outfit’s pocket and pulled out a business card.

She handed the card to Marvelous Man, “Here’s my card with my contact information. Give us a call when you become C-Rank. The Nemesis Branch could really use a hero like you. I know you probably wanted to be like those big heroes you see on TV, and you still can. It’s just that your role would be different, but it would still be important nonetheless, Marvelous Man. Anyways, I have to head out. Take care.”

“Have a nice day,” murmured Marvelous Man.

He looked at the card and was impressed by its design. It was a black and shiny plastic card with golden writings on it including the business name and phrase, “Nemesis Branch: Cutting down destruction’s hubris”. Just as Peachy said, the card had her name and contact info, and there was also a golden logo of a tree acting as a hilt to a sword. As Marvelous Man placed the card into his pocket, he noticed the sun was setting.

He remarked, “Geeze, it’s almost night time. How many hours was I gone?”

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