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“Of course, I want to get jacked like you. Are you kidding me? Look at those muscles, huge, iron, sculpted masses! They’re fucking awesome! And dude, 20 minutes ago, you lifted my car, my freaking car! Who wouldn’t want to be that fucking yoked, that fucking powerful? So, how’d you do it?” “Well,” Mitch said, grinning down at me, and giving those massive, juggernaut arms a little extra flex, “It all started last fall during the first week of school. All these organizations had tables set up outside on the quad to recruit new members. I wasn’t really sure I wanted to join anything, but I was bored, so, I thought I’d just look around. Just about every organization you ever heard of was there, everything from the Young Republicans to Greenpeace. “I didn’t see anything that made me want to rush over and sign up. But then in the far corner, just past the Flat Earth Society, I saw this table with these two huge dudes manning it. I mean they were way taller than anyone else there and their muscles were giant, chiseled boulders. I’d never seen anyone like them in real life. They looked a little intimidating so I wasn’t surprised no one was talking to them. But I felt… I don’t know… compelled to go over there. “They were representing an organization called the Cult of the Muscle Gods. And looking at them, well, I thought they looked like muscle gods themselves. And as I walked up, the looks they gave me, it was like they were trying to scare me away. But I went over anyway. “So, are you like a fitness club, or something?” I asked. “No,” the huge dude answered, “We are an organization dedicated to eliminating the plague of weak and puny men, like you.”” I almost waked away after that crack, but something kept me there; I couldn’t say exactly what. “You want to kill us?” I said. “No,” he laughed, “we want to cure you.” “Cure me?” I parroted. “Sure,” he said. “Rob and I used to be about your size, didn’t we Rob?” Rob nodded once, never breaking that intimidating scowl. “Then we found the muscle gods,” he continued “They helped us evolve into our true selves. And they can do the same for you.” He definitely had my interest. I mean, I’d always felt like I could be bigger, and these guys, well they were just massive. By this point, I had pretty much made up my mind that they were some kind of extreme bodybulding club. And even though I’d never gone in for anything like that before, I found myself signing up for their group. But before I did, they gave me a warning. It would be my only chance to sign up for the cult, and once I did, they would not allow me to back out of it. “Forced to get bigger,” I remember thinking. “That might be exactly what it would take for me to actually do it.” So, I signed. Then came the initiation trials. They were tough, a lot tougher than I could have ever imagined. I began to realize that these guys were dead serious about this shit and I wondered if maybe I hadn’t leaped before I looked. I don’t mind telling you there were days that if I could have backed out, I would have. But I got through it. Then, blindfolded, they took me to their main temple. They made me dress in this ceremonial robe, and it was at this point that it finally sank in: these guys were more than just an extreme bodybuilding club. Again, I got that feeling that I might be in over my head. They escorted me to the center of their temple and then the high priest came out. Holy crap! This was the biggest human being I’d ever seen-- or even heard of! He was well over 7 feet tall and all massive, sculpted muscle. I estimated one of his muscle pylon legs outweighed my entire body. He made me repeat some oaths about dedicating myself to getting bigger as well as to their core mission of bringing muscle and power to all men everywhere. He welcomed me into their brotherhood and suddenly I just started growing. It was the most intense sensation I’d ever experienced. My body was suddenly getting hard all over, swelling up, with iron-like, chiseled muscle. I felt my abs bulge into steely mounds, my shoulders expand into rocks, and my back widen into thick plates of rippling sinew. My biceps grew into, big, sculpted masses. I felt them straining against and then ripping right through the sleeves of that ceremonial robe, while my expanding pecs ripped right through the front. When it was done, I was probably about 2 inches taller and I’d put on about 30 pounds, all of it raw unadulterated muscle! I felt big and powerful, sensations I’d never experienced before, and I liked it. The ceremonial robe was in tatters and none of the clothes I had arrived in would fit me anymore. But they were prepared. They had clothes for me, just the right size. “Didn’t anyone noticed you’d gotten bigger,” I asked. “Not really,” said Mitch. “Well… my roommate kind of freaked, but that’s another story. “So are you ready,” he continued. “Do you want to commit to the cult, to getting bigger? Remember, once you do, there’s no turning back.” “What about those initiation trials you talked about?” I asked. “What were they?” “I can’t tell you that,” he said. “You mean I have to commit to these things without knowing what they are?” I asked. “Yup,” he said. “It’s the only way. Do you want to commit?” So, do you commit to doing what ever they ask you to, even before knowing what it is?