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  1. EDIT: I've accidentally posted this story in two different places because I didn't realize there was a separate place for unfinished stories. I can't figure out to delete this one. Oh well! Hey bros. Writing a pretty personal story that I'd thought I'd share with you all. I'm super tired and depressed these days, so writing stuff like this really helps me process. This story isn't just a quick sex scene, so I want you to try and get into the characters. It's still in progress, so any feedback helps. Appreciate it! CHAPTER 1 - The Gay Bar Escapade --- They met online. Usually, online connections don’t really work out. Sometimes, you think you’re talking to a cute boy who just got out of college, so you start texting each other. But suddenly, when it’s time for you to meet each other, you find out that it’s just a 60 year old man who’s lonely, bored, and a compulsive liar. But this time, it worked. And don’t ask me why. Sometimes, it just does. And you always hope that it does. Jake was always on the computer. He didn’t like going outside a ton, because going outside meant that he had to face the terrible world of adulthood and wearing pants, and really, no one wants to do that. He’d met Brad randomly, on a YouTube comments section. It was a sadder song, the kind that people listen to when they just want to feel things. He’d offhandedly commented on the music, and someone had replied, with a message that was strangely kind. “I feel that way too,” the comment said (strange, knowing the kinds of comments youtube had), “do you have any other music like this?” And so they’d kind of bounced music back and forth, and it was kind of exciting because they’d feel the same about certain things, and they got to discover music together, and it was strangely easy and anxiety free. One day, when Jake was flipping through recommendations, he’d stumbled on Brad’s actual channel, which included his face, and the upper half of his body. Brad did commentary on random things— this time it was about an indie video game released in 1994. Jake was infatuated instantly- not only because Brad’s beard was full, dirty blonde, and masculine, but because Brad was someone who wasn’t an idiot or a liar. He didn’t do things for the attention. He had a good head on his shoulders. And goodness, he had some good shoulders. And suddenly they were seeing each other. Texting at first, then video chatting. Then they were talking about life, coming over to each other’s houses, sharing the same sweaters. It never seemed this easy with other people he’d met. Brad was easy to talk to, and seemed to keep conversations going. Jake was quieter and less socially skilled, but had a lot to say when he opened up. For whatever reason, it was like they already knew each other, already wanted to find out more. Brad was older and had the money to move around, and wasn’t afraid of many things. So they got together one day, after a multitude of texts, and it felt pretty effortless. It helped that Brad was especially eager. When they first started seeing each other, he’d not stop texting. Before they were even close, it was clear that Brad wanted to initiate. And sometimes it was a little uncomfortable, because Jake had never dated anyone that seriously before (besides one girl he’d seen in High School for no reason except for the recognition). Brad was taller, 6’4”, well built, with a slightly greying head of hair that Jake would always ask about. He had nice shoulders, the kind you could put throw a hunted deer on, to take home to eat. They were wide and muscled, and always fit well into the XL T-Shirts that Brad would wear just about everywhere. He looked like a dad in a lot of ways, especially because he had the girthiness that only enters into the muscles with age. A moderate weightlifter, he made sure to work out all the parts of his body with equality. He loved his body, as he would tell Jake. He made sure to take care of it so that it looked good for other men. Jake was certainly shorter. Many would call him a gold star gay, because he looked so unsuspecting and everyone would invite him to events because he was just an easy gay person to have around. With surprising biceps that he got from being on the swim team, Jake was always just trying to be more than ordinary. He didn’t want to be the typical person, didn’t want to have a normally sized body, didn’t want to act like all other gays. It was hard though, because who else was he supposed to be? He wanted to be manly as hell, this huge man with a life. But instead, he was average, average, average. His dirty blonde hair and eyebrows got him a lot of looks from the girls, and some of the guys at school, but never the attention that he wanted. He’d always been drawn to the football players and swim guys, but they were all too immature or terrible to have decent relationships with. Once he thought he had a thing with another player on his water polo team, but it turned out the other guy was just drunk and touchy. He was too closeted and didn’t think Jake was valuable enough to come out for. So it was always back to the computer for Jake, trying to find something worthwhile, but getting nowhere with people he didn’t even care about. People online were just awful. They spent no time getting to know him and only wanted pics. “Nice jawline!” “Your so Hot” or “<3 <3” were the only kinds of conversation he got. It wasn’t even worth his time. Not to mention the people on the other end of those comments were always these creepy men that clogged up any hope of real interactions. When Brad showed up, everything changed. It was like there was finally someone he could talk to. Someone he could be there for. Someone who didn’t hang around just because the scruff on his face made him look so cute. It was because Brad really wanted Jake, even before they could see each other. When Jake thought of this, it really turned him on, in ways other things hadn’t before. The first thing they did when they got together was go to a gay bar. Just for kicks. Also, because Jake had never been to one before. It was a surreal experience, one that still didn’t make sense to Jake after he thought about it. “You ever go to a gay bar before Jake?” Brad had asked him in the car. “No, it’s kind of scary to go out into places like that,” Jake replied. “Why’s that?” “Well… because… I don’t know,” Jake started. “Naw I get what you mean,” Brad replied with a giggle, “gays are just about the most unpredictable thing you’ve ever seen.” As if to emphasize that, he grabbed Jake’s thigh. It surprised him. “Yeah! I—” Jake started. “Okay I’m gonna park the car around back, and you can get out and wait for me in front,” Brad continued, interrupting Jake casually. Jake was confused by this at first because all his attention was drawn to the human contact on his left leg, and Brad was talking like nothing strange was happening. But he nodded like it was just nothing out of the ordinary. They pulled up at the bar, and Brad shoo-ed Jake out of the car. Jake was on the darkened street now and awkwardly walked toward the place that they were trying to get into. It must have been around Eight o’ clock, so the street wasn’t well illuminated by anything but unnatural light. As he neared the bar, he immediately felt a bunch of eyes on him, like he was walking into the wrong classroom. It wasn’t a gentle kind of attention either. It was aggressive, almost thirsty. A couple standing out front, illuminated by the purple yellows of the neon looked directly at him together, and continued talking. The Bouncer immediately turned to face him. The line waiting to get into the bar glanced at him like he was kind of a challenge. Jake remembered why this was something he didn’t do. He got into the line, even though it was painful, in the vague hope that Brad would show up before he got into the building. But after an uncomfortable amount of time, he’d gotten to the front, and Brad still hadn’t showed up. “ID?” said the bouncer. “S-Sure,” Jake stammered. He was trying to play it cool, but really had no idea what that looked like here. He pulled out his wallet and took the card out of the display. He handed it to the bouncer. “So what’s this all about again? Trying to get with older men?” The bouncer said. This was so painful. Jake almost wanted to shut down completely. “Oh, uh,” he said, “I mean, that’s my ID.” There was almost no conviction in his voice. “Hey, it was a nice try, but you gotta do better than this,” the man said. He unhooked the rope that led the line into the bar. Jake could feel the eyes of everyone on him. This was so embarrassing. He looked like a child trying to cheat other adults. He looked around like someone would help him, but felt only the small smiles that the people in line were showing. He didn’t know what to do, so he froze up. Suddenly, Brad was there. “Hey bud, what’s going on here?” He half shouted. Jake looked up. “He handed me a fake so I got him out of here.” said the bouncer, addressing the man walking towards them. “You can’t be coming into bars if you’re not old enough.” “What?” Brad’s brow wrinkled. “This kid’s too honest to use a fake. If he were trying to get in with a fake, don’t you think he’d try a little harder?” The bouncer sighed. “Look,” said Brad, his face starting to make sharp movements, “this is a gay bar. Gays have had it rough enough. The kid’s 22, and I know, has the courage of a 17 year old, but we’ll pay the cover charge, which is like 10 each right? Just let us in.” Jake looked around. He was trying to dissociate from owning the trauma of the situation, but he’d realized that the cover was only 5$ that night. “Hm,” the bouncer looked at Brad, then back to Jake. “Are you his Dad or something?” With this, Brad grabbed the rope that had been unhooked, and with the other arm, grabbed Jake’s entire torso. He moved forward, clipped the rope back in, and pulled out a wallet. “‘Preciate it,” Brad said, as he handed a 20 to the bouncer. He didn’t seem to respond with resistance, so they kept walking forward. They made it through the door and onto the hellish disco in front of them. “Thanks,” Jake said weakly, looking back at the bouncer. “What!?” Brad replied, looking at Jake. They met eyes. “Did you just thank the bouncer?” Jake just chose not to reply. He looked kind of dazed. He’d thought it romantic, and scary, and embarrassing all at the same time and wasn’t sure which emotion to proceed forward with. In front of them was a lake of people jumping to a neon fuschia music beat. Things were essentially cloaked in darkness, save the glow in the dark paint splatters across the walls that strangely resembled other less appropriate substances. All around, people came and went in a sweaty, disorganized cacophony. The looks were less intense in here, and the biting coldness of the air conditioning felt kind of nice. It was almost like a different world entirely, one that wasn’t faced with so much social pressure. They started to walk over to the bar, and Jake found himself clinging to Brad without actually touching him. It was like he actually had a Dad today, to go with him places and make him feel less afraid. It was nice. Jake eased up a bit. Along the way, Jake met the eyes of a cute blonde guy who was skinnier than him. There was this strange burst of electricity, and then he broke eye contact. He’d noticed that the man was only wearing a thong, which really turned him off. Brad walked up to the bartender girl making drinks, and ordered something that sounded like a country and a randomly generated noun. It was hard to hear over the noise, and the words didn’t usually go together anyway, so Jake had a hard time recognizing what was being said. The girl nodded, cocked her head, and gave them a brief smile. “Do you ever wonder,” Brad asked, facing Jake “how many good, attractive people like you are just sitting at home, too afraid to come out and meet people?” . “Oh thank you,” said Jake. Brad had just complimented him, and it made him feel good inside. Then he realized he forgot to answer the question. “Oh, yeah, I know what you mean. Like, there are probably so many amazing people out there, but it’s just so hard to meet them.” “Right,” Brad replied, looking around, then back at Jake. “I guess the problem is that there are so many brave idiots who really should just stay home and do some thinking.” The bartender came back with their glasses. “Been a while since someone here’s winked at me,” she said to Brad. “Are you his dad?” “Oh honey,” Brad said with a melodic gruffness that surprised both the girl and Jake, “I’m gay. Just think you’re cute is all. The bandana on the arm is such a touch.” The girl beamed with enjoyment. She was incredibly pretty, and had a soft face that was somehow angular. “Well thank you” she almost squealed, “that’s so sweet. Gay men are so wonderful. You know they’re being honest because they don’t use compliments to try and get inside your pants.” She handed them their drinks. Brad started a little bit too quickly, and Jake watched as his Adam’s apple moved to compensate for what was going down. It scared him and intrigued him. He looked at his own drink and took a sip. It tasted like vodka and did not go down easily. Again Jake felt like a tiny, tiny boy, out of place. “How’s it taste?” the girl asked Jake, a little too pointedly. She’d noticed. “I… like sweet drinks,” Jake replied with a smile and a cough. He felt comfortable around her, like he did all women, but was finding it harder and harder to sound cool. She laughed. “I’m Lacy. You two are kinda likable. I’ll keep you in my mind,” she said to them. “Lacy, I’m Brad.” “I’m Jake. This place is kinda nuts isn’t it?” “Yes,” said Lacy with a nod. “But it’s fun. I get to be a mom to these sisters. Don’t have to dress like a nun. Men won’t try to grope me except sometimes. And even then they’re just lonely. I can work with that.” Lacy nodded and looked at the group of other men clumped around the bar. It was growing harder and harder to have a conversation. “Well see yuh!” Lacy gave them a small wave and then grabbed a rag to wipe up a spilled drink. She picked up the cup and placed it on the counter in front of an older man who looked severely drunk. She slapped him on the cheek gently and told him to pay attention to his containers. He nodded, stupidly. “Wanna move around a little?” Brad said. Jake met eyes with Brad again, and felt a little flutter in his chest. Brad was just....he was just… incredibly sexy. Jake didn’t really have the words to contradict or express a desire. He just nodded. He wanted to be next to Brad. So they started walking. They headed towards where everyone was dancing, and Brad got sidetracked looking at a Go-go dancer. Jake wasn’t paying attention, and was drawn in to the mass of excited bodies. It was interesting. He started to smile and join in. It felt good, to be in a comfortable place, moving to a beat in unison with a bunch of other strangers. They weren’t aggressive or mean. They just smiled and danced along. After a couple minutes, Jake opened his eyes and saw the guy from before standing still with a glass of wine, staring straight at him. It was unnerving, but he continued to dance. He moved into some people’s bodies to get away from the gaze, but he knew it was following him. Seconds later, he felt a touch on his back. He turned around to the same guy from before. “Hey babyyyy!!! What’s up?!” the voice said loudly. “I don’t know! Just dancing!” It was a dumb answer, but it was true. “That’s hot,” said the other guy. The statement made Jake uncomfortable, but he wasn’t sure what to say. Jake was half moving, half conversing with this other person for a couple of seconds before he spoke again. “So where are you from,” the guy asked. He moved in strangely close. “I’m from around here, yeah,” said Jake. What was going on here? He spotted Brad, but Brad wasn’t looking at him. Jake was beginning to feel awkward. “Oh really me too! What High school did you go to?” The man was persistent, and Jake was clearly not interested. “Uh, Carp High,” he said, not really sure if he should have lied there or not. “Oh my god that’s where my sister went!” the person replied with a strange sense of eagerness. Why was that exciting? It was just high school. “Yeah, well that’s great!” Jake was trying to be as polite as he could. “Did she like it?” “No, she kinda hated it. Her name’s Angelina. Did you know an Angelina?” “No I didn’t.” There was a long and uncomfortable pause. “Mmm, I like your face,” said the man. Jake was trying his best not to cringe inside. And then it got really weird. The man leaned in and got close. And put his hand on Jake’s crotch. Jake froze up and blinked. He couldn’t believe what was happening. The music proceeded as usual and no one seemed to notice. Brad didn’t even step in. “So…” said the guy, noting the lack of response, “do you like sucking dick or anything?” Jake could not believe the nerve of this person, how oblivious of the right things to say in conversation he was. He remembered what Brad had said about idiots being the bold ones. Jake didn’t want to be here. But he was having a panic attack. Brad walked by and stood watching. Jake broke away and walked over. The person followed. “Hey Brad, can we go somewhere else?” Jake said. “OH, is this your DADDY??!” said the man, “He’s so cuuuute. And sooooo masculine. Hashtag, masc for masc!” Brad raised his eyebrows. Jake was shaking. “You know, masculinity is like… toxic, just so that you’re aware. Just embrace your inner queen, okay sister? Don’t try to be masculine when you know inside you’re just as gay as the rest of us!” The man teased. Jake put his face really close to Brad. ”Besides, the guys you find on Grindr don’t actually want to be your friends.” “Hey Brad,” Jake said, in a normal voice, but one that could be heard over the volume. “Yes, Jake?” “He uh, he grabbed me. I feel weird.” At this Brad’s face turned to stone. He found Jake’s hands and started to squeeze them. The man was still there, and he’d got some other guys to sniff around as well. What happened next still felt like a dream to Jake, though the whole night was hazy. Brad started to breathe, faster and faster, as he looked at the person behind Jake. Jake stared absently at Brad, and then started to notice that ever so slowly, his hands were starting to move. Not move, just expand over his. Like they were growing. Jake thought Brad was somehow looking to hug him, but as he looked upward in the dim neon lights, he realized Brad was getting bigger somehow. It was subtle, and with all the movement happening, it wasn’t super obvious, but Jake noticed because he was starting to feel more skin and more hand on him. There was a guttural rumbling he could hear through their bodily contact, and immediately, Brad broke contact and went up to the man. He was immediately encircled by two others, though they didn’t seem to notice the slow growing Brad kept up. Brad spoke slowly, with intention, but the other guy made no expressions that he was afraid or sorry. Then one of the men took out a cloth and put it over Brad’s face. Jake’s eye’s widened. All he could remember happening next was calling the police because there was too much to think about. He’d never done it before, but when the men noticed he was on the phone, they scattered, and Brad sunk to the floor.
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