As for muscle on the hoof, I think the first time I ever spotted a real muscleman was on a family vacation to the Pacific Northwest. We were in Gastown in Vancouver BC at a pizza joint. I think there had been a contest of some kind that day. Anyway there was a table of bodybuilders at the next table going to town on multiple pies etc. I suspect it was a post contest celebration as there were several pitchers of beer as well. I particularly remember this one musclegod--blond, tan, handsome with a killer bod crammed into a very tight navy blue short sleeve Polo. He was showing considerable pec cleavage and had a gold chain with what looked like it might have been a coke spoon on it. This was the late 70s after all.
I spent the entire meal staring at this glorious stud, while desperately trying not to stare... or drop my pizza...or space off the family conversation and have the folks ask what the fuck. As I watched this dude's biceps try and escape from his sleeves I developed a significant tent in my pants. Terrifying and thrilling for a closeted fat teen in public! I swear by Odin's bristling shorthairs that this stud knew I was oogling him. Either that or he was just putting it out for the whole restaurant.
At any rate, they got up to before we were done and he had to squeeze out between me and their table. He had on very tight white bell bottoms and sported a great set of wheels and a very full pickinik basket indeed! I managed to get up without falling over (keeping my napkin in a strategic place trying to hide the chubster), but was so stunned that I just stood there gawping for what seemed like a month. In real time it was likely only a second or two. I then came back to reality and shuffled aside trying not to look at him in any sort of obvious way. I think I mumbled something apologetic as I shuffled. As he sidled by I looked him in the face. He had very nice blue eyes and a big grin. I swear he winked as he gave me a bit of a light shoulder punch and said "no problem." If my folks had not been right there I think I could have dropped and blown him right on the spot!
The sight of him walking away from me across that restaurant is one I will cherish until I drop dead.
10,000 thanks to he who I think of in my mind as Thor...who ever you were!