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      Help contribute, donate via PayPal or join with a monthly Patreon contribution.   01/01/17

      To help raise funds I've introduced a monthly contribution option called Pateron. This service allows you to pledge a monthly contribution plus allows me to offer you some rewards for your contribution. If you have any questions you may PM me. If you'd like to make that contribution please click on the image below:      
    • CMiller

      NEWS: Discord Server & Clubs (aka Groups) are back!   08/19/17

      Hello everyone I'm back with a couple big updates! Firstly we now have a Discord server, this is a real-time chat messaging client you can run on your phone, desktop, or anywhere. It's a pretty powerful desktop application that enables people to chat together, and with multiple channels you can find people interested in what you're interested in. If you don't already have a Discord account it's pretty easy to get one, just click the following invite link to get started: https://discord.gg/U93PYnB Secondly I'm proud to announce the return of Groups, it's been renamed to Clubs and is now available here: https://muscle-growth.org/clubs/. This system is entirely user generated and allows users to create groups of their own based on any subject they want. Go ahead and try it now, visit the link above to get started if you want to create or join a group!   As always thank you to all of our donators and Patreon contributors who keep the forums going! 


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About CardiMuscleman

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  • Birthday 08/31/74

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    Astronomy, Bodybuilding, Current Affairs, Drama, Elections, Fitness, Geography, History, Literature (English, European), Meteorology, News, Politics, Renn Faires, Science, Theatre

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  1. Additional Hobbies or Talents

    Whilst watching archive general elections on BBC Parliament (especially from the 1960's), the presenter would often say something like "Surname is elected" and I would recite (from the comic opera "Iolanthe" the first few lines of "Strephon's a Member of Parliament". Despite knowing the majority of the canon though, I have never actually appeared on stage as a major role because I am not entirely sure if I can sing or not
  2. When did you start lifting?

    Two months ago (thanks to a free bus travel scheme)
  3. Additional Hobbies or Talents

    I know the feeling as I am also somewhat of a photographer (having had images broadcast on CNN and the BBC) but just like you there aren't any bodybuilding contests near by that I am able to photograph and it's been six years since my friend from Suffolk, who is one, has been able to visit. In case you are interested, here are some of the photographs I have taken (Taken in 2007)
  4. Shirtless Workout

    Further to this point, Dean (who I met in passing yesterday at gym) was only wearing a pair of shorts when I came in, but left wearing only a gym vest (thus proving the point that private gyms do not have a code about shirts, save pure common sense)
  5. The American Musketeer Goes to Olympia

    Chapter Ten "Gentlemen, Gentlemen, please!" As the Ultimate Musketeer raised his hands to try and quiet the throng of the press, Man Incarnate was worried that this mass intrusion of the press would make them late for their appointment. "As has happened ever since the election of the President" the Ultimate Musketeer said, "my words have been taken out of context. All I said was, that as someone who appreciates the old school style of bodybuilding, I wanted to congratulate Jeremy on his winning the 2017 Olympia Physique title and Breon on winning the Classic Physique title. And what did you do? You twisted my words so it sounded like I was slamming both Phil Heath and Flex Lewis for being too big. Need I remind you gentlemen, and there are times I use the word in its loosest sense, that I am the reason that your papers have such a big circulation on the day that I give my interviews to you for some of my feats of strength for charity. If you continue with this trend, I will be minded never to give another interview to you again. Now, if you will excuse us, we have an appointment to keep!" and with that he pushed the mass of media aside, creating a path that he walked towards the hotel with Man Incarnate following. As he entered, he said to the receptionist, "Good evening, Ultimate Musketeer, Man Incarnate, I believe we are expected!" As the lift descended to the basement of the hotel, Roger sighed "Give the press an inch!" to which Henry nodded sadly in agreement adding "and they'll hang themselves by a mile!" as the lift doors opened revealing an empty basement save for a chair made out of metal and a man who bowed respectfully and then opened a file. "Sadly, my client is unable to be here this evening, as he has been called away on urgent business. However, if you would care to know there are four cameras in the corner of this room each of which is trained on that chair so that he can view this performance later on. Therefore he is willing to pay an extra million dollars for that!" "I thank your client" bowed the Ultimate Musketeer, "and would ask that my companion assists me in this production" and with that turned to Roger and whispered "How good a lawyer can you pretend to be?" to which he replied "LA Law extra 1987, I was the bodybuilder witness!" *** "Your honour, please forgive me for using the English term for a judge, but as you will have seen from my records, I am English, first of all I wish the court to know that I accept the verdict. I am indeed guilty of causing the death of an innocent man who, without my knowledge, was holed up in the building I had to collapse in order to prevent a bomb going off that would have destroyed most of downtown San Francisco, there is no question over that. However, I contend that the proposed punishment of the electric chair would have no impact on me due to my muscularity, and therefore would request that you put me to death by wild horses. An ancient punishment, yes, but the only one that will enable people to see that I have paid for my crime!" "Judge Johnson" replied Man Incarnate, "this trial is being conducted under the legal statutes of California, a state that has never used the electric chair, but given the severity of the charges, which I should point out the defendant has admitted to, it is only logical answer. This suggestion that he puts forward that the chair wouldn't have any impact on him I find very hard to believe, therefore ask you to rule in my favour so that we can test that theory!" "My client has prepared the following statement" said the man, "In the case of the Ultimate Musketeer versus the state of California, I find in favour of the state. Therefore, I condemn the Ultimate Musketeer to death by the electric chair" "I accept the court's decision" said the Ultimate Musketeer, as he started to remove his breastplate, "and ask that the footage taken is broadcast at a suitable hour to show that my death has occurred" and with that he removed his loin cloth, boots and wrist cuffs, walked to the chair, sat in it and announced in a loud voice "It is a far, far better thing that I do than I have ever done. It is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known!" and nodded to Man Incarnate who restrained the Ultimate Musketeer who whispered to him "Remember, what I said!" As Man Incarnate nodded, he added cables to the Ultimate Musketeer's nipples, cock and balls stating "In order to ensure no deception, his most intimate organs will also be electrocuted!" and with that he stepped to one side and grabbed hold of a lever and with a mighty declaration of "Let justice be served" pulled it.
  6. Mr. Olympia Weekend

    Indeed, but will that sixth win (making him the most successful Welsh bodybuilder of all time, passing the legendary Paul Grant) be reported in the Welsh media? The **** it will! Therefore I have written to him (via his website) citing the fact that he's been in competition for 14 years, bodybuilding for close to 20 years, and that in a week that has seen three of my friends retire from competition (all slightly younger than Flex is now) due to the stresses of the sport on their bodies, he should consider retiring himself and standing in the 2021 Assembly elections as an Independent candidate promising that if elected, he will ensure that his knowledge of training should be the base for a new Welsh health policy to ensure that Wales is no longer the sick man of the United Kingdom (as we have much lower life expectancy and higher levels of chronic illness than anywhere else in the UK)
  7. Mass arrest of alleged LGBTQ persons

    During the 2014 Commonwealth Games, the SNP (who were in majority control of the Scottish Parliament) made a deblierate effort to raise the poor level of LGBTQ rights in the Commonwealth by not only giving the heads of states visiting Scotland for the Games a rainbow pin badge but giving very clear hints that the opening ceremony would address the matter, and boy did it! The first part of the opening ceremony, a song about Scotland, was sung by Karen Dunbar (lesbian) and John Barrowman (gay) plus it featured the following lyric when referencing Gretna Green in the Scottish Borders Then the chorus sing something which is not very clear but is in kin talking about marriage and couple off leaving one man left on his own but is then given a whacking big guess by John Barrowman whilst Karen declares "Here's to equality in Scotland". Clearly however this message has been lost on a large number of Commonwealth nations
  8. The American Musketeer Goes to Olympia

    Chapter Nine "Didn't I tell you that you were a shoe in for the Grand Master Olympia title again" chuckled Henry as they entered their hotel room. Roger smiled as he hefted the Sandow high above his head and moaned "Yeah, look at me, lifting Eugene high above my head" before adding "And this time I actually got to experience it" "Indeed you did" smiled Henry "and did you like the Ultimate Musketeer's guest posing routine at the same time?" "Oh man" moaned Roger, remembering it, "to be picked off the stage by that Herculean mass of muscle, lifted over his head and to become Man Incarnate in front of all those people and then turn back again having flexed my massive body to the point of bursting and they still believed it to be CGI!" "Ah" smiled Henry, "the power of the Ultimate Musketeer's mind" and with that tapped his head. As Roger placed the trophy on the mantelpiece he turned to Henry and said "So, you've decided that you want me to help you communicate with Adam then?" Henry nodded as he lay on the bed saying "My mind in the Ultimate Musketeer's body would never work, but his mind in my body would certainly allow him to focus on the situation at hand, so yes, I give you permission!" Roger nodded and as he pulled out a fob watch Henry said "Just remember, you're supressing my mind not his, we don't want another situation where the Ultimate Musketeer doesn't know how he is, do we?" Roger laughed at a previous hypnosis session when he had accidentally wiped the mind of the Ultimate Musketeer when he got excited at the idea of being hypnotised himself but as Roger started to swing the watch, Henry was soon under and as Roger called forth Adam, Henry's voice changed from a polite Englishman to a rough Frenchman's "Ah, Monsieur Dixon" Adam chuckled, "You wish to be rammed again?" but as he fumbled to remove his loincloth he gasped "What have you done? I'm not in my body!" "I have been asked by Henry to make a representation on his behalf over him being a straight virgin and you being a gay icon" replied Roger, "I have hypnotised Henry so that you are the dominant personality and be able to access his mind. I want you to look for his memories of the following date: September 8th 1986" "If I have to" moaned Adam and with that closed his eyes, stating a few moments later, "I have found that day" but then added "Hold my hands and I will allow you to experience them as well". Roger wasn't sure but inside he was curious to see why Henry's insistence that he was not keen on sex stemmed from that day, so grabbed hold of the hands. There was a brilliant flash of light and Roger found himself in a unfamiliar environment. It was a school, much smaller than the one he attended but a school none the less. As he looked down he gasped, and as Adam's voice filled his mind he said "Welcome, welcome to September 8th 1986, we are both now remembering what happened that day as seen from Henry's viewpoint" and as Henry walked towards the building, they could hear his own memories saying "Games, I hate Games, perhaps I will be lucky and thanks to the this half day strike there will be so few people it will be cancelled. Oh, who am I kidding? This is Wales, all of the big strong lads will come flocking just to play a game of rugby!" and with that Henry trudged towards the building. A few moments later, having attended the class's registration and found himself to be the only person in his class having attended school that day, Henry trudged towards the gym class which both Adam and Roger were surprised to see was nothing more than a changing room and a sports hall next to it. As Henry sat down with a thump he started to take off his clothes but was stopped by a "Need not do that today, Henry, you're the only one here!" and as Henry looked up Roger moaned "Man, that gym teacher is built!" a sentiment that Adam agreed with noting the gym teacher's bulging pecs. "In my class!" replied Henry, "but the whole year, that I doubt!" "No, I mean it" replied the gym teacher, "you're the only person in the whole year, that's some 75 boys and 80 girls to attend!" and with that he sat down next to Henry causing both Adam and Roger to moan with desire saying "So, what can I do with just you then?" Henry was about to speak when Roger closed his eyes, concentrated hard and through Henry said "I realise this may seem like an imposition, but...could I ask how strong you are?" "You want to know how strong I am?" asked the teacher, a little surprised, "What for?" "Oh, I see what you're doing!" smiled Adam and took over making Henry say "The reason I feel I have been bullied all these years is because I am not strong enough. I shall be honest and say that ever since I first saw you last year, I've tried and failed to pluck up the courage to ask you if you can help me become stronger!" "And you're asking now because?" asked the teacher "Because I'm the only one here" replied Roger and as he did, the teacher placed a friendly arm around Henry and said "I know the feeling, when I was in school I was the one who was always bullied. I only started getting strong in college, so yes, I can help you!" and with that he gestured Henry to follow him outside and to a building that was outside the main sports hall. Taking a key from his pocket, the teacher opened the door and as he walked in he presented Henry to "a multi gym, the best way to make any one stronger. Now, change into your gym clothes, just through that door, and when you come back I'll show you just how strong I am!" As Henry went to change out of his school uniform and into his gym class clothes, Adam whispered to Roger "What to see what I know already?" and with that both men appeared in front of the teacher who was pulling his shorts on when he realised that he wasn't alone. As he turned he moaned "He-Man? Conan? Oh fuck, you're my heroes!" and with that he embraced them both just as Henry came back in and he said "I'm sorry" and was about to head back when Adam asked "Why?" "I am afraid to say that I am scared" replied Henry, "this is reason why I don't like having Games lessons. Everyone is bigger than me, stronger than me and more powerful than me and that's why I hate them!" As Roger looked at his friend, his head bowed in shame, he said "Excuse me, if you were big and strong, would you like Games then?" to which Henry nodded saying "But there is little chance of that?" Adam smiled and turned to the teacher saying "Would you be willing to give Henry a lesson in strength in return for becoming He-Man in person?" to which the teacher moaned. As they looked at each other, they both had a smile on their faces and closing their eyes entered Henry and the teacher respectively and roared "YOU HAVE THE HONOUR!" and as they did, they unleashed their raw and primal power making both Henry and the teacher into monsters, both standing seven foot tall, both weighing three hundred pounds and making the teacher so horny that as his shorts ripped apart he couldn't help but moan "Henry, you know what this is from your biology lessons? Let me show you what else it can do!" and with that he started to rub the eleven inch flaccid cock that so became a fourteen inch rod and as it did, he started to breath hard grunting "Henry, give me that 50kg weight. I think you are strong enough to lift it now and watch!" and as Henri placed the weight onto his teacher's cock, bobbing with each heartbeat, the teacher gritted his teeth and lifted the weight with his cock until it was level and then grunted "Another, as many as you can!". Soon he was holding 400kg on the monster of a manhood as he held it aloft he roared "Look Henry, look at the power I am exuding. This is what it means to be strong, this is what it means to be a man, this is, oh fuck, this is, fuck, fuck, fuck!" and with that he came screaming "THIS IS MAN!" and as his cock softened and the weights fell off Henry heard Roger say "Remember, Henry, Remember" and with that Henry passed out. As Henry opened his eyes, he found Roger looking over him saying "Wow, we really did let that teacher have it, didn't we?" Henry nodded and said "So, is that it then? Am I no longer a virgin?" "Even better!" chuckled Adam in his mind and suggested that Henry log on to his e-mail. As he did, the first message was "Hey!" and was from a man named Hywel stating "Sorry I couldn't come this year and see you guest pose, but I thought that you might like to know that my dad wanted you to see this!" and attached was a photograph of a man, in his late 60's, overhead pressing a 400kg bar with the caption "Teacher says YEAH, world's strongest man (Over 60's Class)" and as Henry looked at the picture he gasped "That's my Games teacher!" and as he looked up at Roger, Roger smiled "Who thanks to us retired from teaching the day afterwards, had a 20 year bodybuilding career, took up strongman events and a decade ago today introduced you to his daughter who was royally rammed by the Ultimate Musketeer in order so that he could have a grandson!" As Henry looked at the picture he smiled sand replied "Well done, please tell your father that I am very happy for him and hope that his grandson will come and visit one day!"
  9. The American Musketeer Goes to Olympia

    Chapter Eight "Ladies and Gentlemen, it's been building up to this all morning, please welcome the finalists for the Olympia Weekend Wrestling Championship, Henri from France and Richard from Alaska!" As Henry and Roger stepped into the ring, Henry's suggestion before they had started was absolutely correct. Both of them had sailed through their qualifying bouts and just as Henry had said the Ultimate Musketeer and Man Incarnate were about to battle each other not only for the title of Olympia Wrestling Champion but to decide the argument that had led them to this position. "Gentlemen, are you ready?" announced the MC's to which both men grunted and as a bell rang they each launched at each other and they were grasping each other's hands but whilst it looked to the audience cheering them on as if they were grunting, sizing up each others strength, they were actually holding a conversation "Admit it Roger" grunted Henry, "the Ultimate Musketeer is practically immortal, compared to me, you're a kid! This is going to be like taking candy from a baby, again!" "Not this time" grunted Roger in reply, "I'm going to be the one who beats you!" "Talk is cheap" grunted Henry, "Prove it!" "Oh, I will" smiled Roger, "I'm younger than you, I'm stronger than you..." Suddenly, the Ultimate Musketeer grabbed hold of one of Roger's arms and bent it behind Roger's back whilst holding the other one behind Roger's head. As Roger gasped the Ultimate Muskeeter sneered "And yet I am going to beat you!" and with that pulled Man Incarnate into him taunting him "Now, stop blathering and start wrestling!" As the hold continued, Man Incarnate managed to free his hands and, as if doing a cable crossover, he broke free of the hold and grunted "Oh, I'm not done yet!" and in a turn of speed that even the Ultimate Musketeer was impressed with he wrapped his around around his opponents shoulders saying "Now I've got you, admit it, your prime was centuries ago. When I win this bout, the only man you'll be wrestling is the UItimate Titan!" "If you want to beat me" chuckled the Ultimate Musketeer, "then you're going to have to do better than that" as he broke free of the hold in the same manner but just as he was about to turn Man Incarnate grabbed hold of the Ultimate Musketeer's mighty pecs and squeezed them as hard as he could chuckling "Oh, you're not breaking away that easily!" "You've got the strength" smiled the Ultimate Musketeeer, "but I've got the experience" and with that he broke free again and launched himself at his opponent who grabbed him with both hands and the two wrestlers pulled themselves into each other. Then, just as quickly, Man Incarnate, fell to the ground on his knees sending a bolt of pain up the Ultimate Musketeer's back. Pain that was repaid, in kind, by the Ultimate Musketeer squeezing Man Incarnate's pecs. As he continued to squeeze, Man Incarnate started to pant and as he did the Ultimate Musketeer started to chuckle "Do you know why I am such a good wrestler?" he asked, "Well, you can thank Porthos for that. Wrestling him every day for the last decade has given me control over my sexual impulses" and with that he chuckled saying "I can feel that mighty cock of yours hardening under that singlet. You want me, I can control my impulses but you cannot!" "As great as this feels" panted Man Incarnate, "I'm going to win this bout!" "Oh yeah?" smiled the Ultimate Musketeer, "and what happens if I do this?" and with that kissed Man Incarnate in such as way that to the crowd it looked as if he was suffocating him with his mouth. As Man Incarnate's cock continued to grow, Man Incarnate murmured "Oh fuck, yeah, Make me cum!" "I thought that might do the trick!" chuckled the Ultimate Musketeer, "I can feel you're ready to blow" and with that raised an eyebrow as he said "And you know what, I think I am as well, so how about we give this crowd a show eh?" and with that he lifted Man Incarnate high over his head and slammed him down onto the floor of the ring so hard that the entire audience grimmaced in pain. As he collapsed onto Man Incarnate the two kissed again and using his powers of telepathy said "You're going down, Man Incarnate, and the buldges building up between us tells me we are both going to like this" "Oooooh, fuuuuck!" moaned Man Incarnate in the Ultimate Musketeer's mind, "You may not be able to beat me, but fuck, you sure know how to get me aroused" "Then how about we really go for it?" asked the Ultimate Musketeer and with that broke off the kiss and squeezed Man Incarnate's pecs so hard that he screamed in agonised estacy as he came but not before grabbing the Ultimate Muskteer's pecs and inflicting just as much pain on him to cause the same reaction. However, as Man Incarnate orgasmed, his strength failed and he feel to the floor of the ring. The announcer counted him out and raised the hand of the Ultimate Musketeer declaring "Our new champion, Henri!" As the Ultimate Musketeer slumped to the floor of the ring he breathed "So, agree that my idea wins?" Man Incarnate nodded and panted "Can we do this again soon?" "After your contest?" came the smiled reply to which Man Incarnate just moaned his approval, "but you have bested me, therefore I will listen to Henry's wishes. See you at your contest!" and with that the Ultimate Musketeer stood up, bowed and leapt into the roof of the convention centre, a thousand smartphones trying to follow him.
  10. How do you see yourself?

    That is very interesting indeed I must say, it's like me (but in reverse). I thought that I was terribly overweight and fat (but I am not) and you think that you're not in shape (when I am sure that most people who say the opposite), could it be therefore that all of these people who state that male models being used to demonstrate normal people has had an impact on what people define as normal?
  11. Incredible Hulk

    As we know the old adage of "the angrier the Hulk becomes, the stronger he becomes" is quite true, and therefore it prompted this question from one of the question sites I am on. I replied that most people would agree that he was the most muscular man already, but that I could not answer the man question but would consult with experts, so here's your chance to shine, what would happen if the Hulk was electrocuted (i.e Banner get sent to the electric chair or the Hulk is struck by lighting)?
  12. How do you see yourself?

    I have always considered myself to be overweight and overly fat, so it came as rather a surprise when I bought a new set of scales which stated I had a BMI of 27.5 (halfway between healthy and obese) and a body fat rating of around 14% (also listed as healthy) which came as a genuine surprise to me
  13. How do straight bodybuilders worship

    It is all absolutely fascinating indeed. When you have finished, may we ask questions on aspects of it?
  14. Gym interactions

    A couple of weeks ago, there was someone at the gym I attend finishing off with a session with ab crunches and when he finished his first set he moaned "Man, why do I put myself through this?" to which I replied "A: to impress the girls, B: to impress the boys, C: to be healthy, D: to get away from your day job, E: to become a bodybuilder or F: something else?". It turned out the answer was a combination of D and E as he was a registered carer for someone with Down's Syndrome to which I instantly stuck out my hand and said "From a fellow carer to another, you have my absolute thanks for the work that you are doing!"
  15. The American Musketeer Goes to Olympia

    Chapter Seven "Now's that what I call a breakfast!" smiled Henry and as he Instagrammed the picture of Roger's overladen plate onto "UltimateMusketeer", he chuckled as it was liked nearly two thousand times in five minutes. "Well, yours isn't that bad!" replied Roger as he gestured to the sixteen pound lump of beef on his plate and as the two got stuck in Henry smiled "You know, before I became him, I wouldn't be able to touch this with a bargepole. Amazing what happens when you gain a bit of muscle eh?" Roger nodded adding "and that's what happened to us earlier on" "Oh, yes" said Henry, "you were going to explain what happened?" and with that leaned in asking "How did we manage that?" "When you made me Man Incarnate" replied Roger leaning in, "I soon noticed that the closer I was to you, the more powerful I became. I believe that our proximity is what makes us. As an example, say we were both curling a ton and were stood a hundred feet away? It would be nothing for you but a real challenge for me. However, as I would walk towards you I would find it easier and easier and you would become more aroused as well. I believe therefore that if we were both literally on top of each other, our bodies pumped like nothing and thinking of nothing bar raw physical sex, we'd be able to do anything!" and with that raised an eyebrow "Plausible" replied Henry pondering it, "but that brings up another question. Now, please don't take this the wrong way, but there's a part of me that doesn't like becoming the Ultimate Musketeer and it's this bit here" and with that he pointed to his groin, adding, "When I'm like this, the idea that you and he go at it like rabbits, and again, please do not take this this wrong way, revolts me, and yet when I am him, I have to physically stop myself thinking up new and deviant ways of making you cum. Now, I think it may have something to do with when I was born you see" and with that he looked around before adding "I was born on September 12th" and held his head in shame. Roger nodded his understanding and said "There's nothing to be ashamed of. Just because you're a Virgo!" "But that's the point" said Henry, "I am a Virgo" and with that took out his tablet and showed Roger the Wikipedia article on the star sign stating that Virgos were "typically analytical, kind, hardworking and practical. According to astrologers, Virgos tend to worry often; they are shy and dislike being the center of attention. They are also known for being modest, faithful, quiet, and very persuasive, as well as for having a good sense of reasoning and memory. Virgos are also known for their intellect and usually enjoy art, literature, science, mathematics, and are skilled at completing detailed work" "Yes" replied Roger, "that's you to a tee, but I don't quite see..." "I'm a virgin!" said Henry, almost with tears in his eyes, "but Adam isn't and there are times I..." and with that Henry got up out of his seat and left the dining room in a brisk walk. Deciding that he should follow his friend, Roger found him in their room on the bed sobbing. As he gently turned him around Henry wailed "I'm a virgin, a straight virgin, do you have any idea how I feel when Adam ploughs you?" "Have you asked him?" asked Roger "I daren't" replied Henry, rubbing his eyes, "If I did I am sure he'd reject me and as much as I hate ploughing you, I don't want to be not the Ultimate Musketeer anymore. He gives me a sense of worth!" As Roger saw his friend conflicted with himself, he asked gently "Can I speak to Adam please? Just me and him. Man Incarnate and Ultimate Musketeer. I will try my best to intercede for you!" "You'd do that?" asked Henry, "for me?" "Henry" Roger smiled, "how long have we known each other? The best part of twenty years I think. You first met me online when you started on the internet looking for people who had an interest in American history and I had an interest in British history. Why do you think I waited five years before telling you I was a bodybuilder? It's because I thought you would run a mile. But over those five years it was clear that you were more interested in me as a person and that my muscles came a very distant second. As you saw beyond the muscleman me, let me convince Adam to see beyond you. You have the heart of a hero, your valiant heroics in France prove that, allow me to speak to him and I will try my best to convince him that despite you being a virgin, I love the Ultimate Musketeer!" As Henry sat up, he rubbed his eyes, sniffed and nodded and with that retrieved his sword from his suitcase and stood in the middle of the room, raised it and said meekly "Thank you, Roger, you're a true friend" before becoming the Ultimate Musketeer and turning Roger into Man Incarnate. "Mmmm" moaned the Ultimate Musketeer, "twice in two hours, we are feeling kinky aren't we?" "Ultimate Musketeer" declared Man Incarnate, "I challenge you to a wrestling match. In two hours there is an open wrestling tournament, if you agree to that match, we shall both enter it. No doubt we shall meet in the final. If I win, I wish to make a representation on behalf of Henry!" "And if you lose?" asked the Ultimate Musketeer "I will be your sex slave for the rest to the day!" As the Ultimate Musketeer licked his lips, he moaned "It's on!"