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About CardiMuscleman

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    Astronomy, Bodybuilding, Current Affairs, Drama, Elections, Fitness, Geography, History, Literature (English, European), Meteorology, News, Politics, Renn Faires, Science, Theatre

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  1. CardiMuscleman

    Francais - Condamnation de bodybuilders

    It's the same here in the UK, I say Growing steroid use in Newport, Gwent Terrorist "took steroids" before attack Steroids seized in County Donegal, Ireland And yet at the same time, whenever anyone from the bodybuilding community wants to talk about natural bodybuilding they are either ignored or placed at the end of a news bulletin as a "human interest! story.
  2. Am I correct in the understanding then that James can call himself "the undefeated 212 Olympia champion" when he switches to open next year?
  3. CardiMuscleman

    The Dreams of the Ultimate Musketeer

    Part Five "By the way" asked the Ultimate Titan, "where is Henri?" "Oh" replied Adam, and with that reached for a remote control on the shelf, "he'll be in Parliament" and with that switched on the gym's 60 inch widescreen plasma 4K television chuckling "Only the best here you know" and tuned it in to the Parliament channel where there was Henry sitting in the place reserved for the Prime Minister. "QUESTIONS TO THE PRIME MINISTER" bellowed the Speaker, "NUMBER ONE!" Henry got to his feet and replied in the time honoured manner "Mr. Speaker, this morning I had meetings with ministerial colleagues and others and in addition to my duties in this House I shall have further such meetings later today" and as he looked up to the camera winked as he added "and if time permits will hold a meeting with a delegation from the military corps known as the Musketeers to discuss how to increase the health and fitness of the military services of this nation" and with that sat down leaving the Ultimates bewildered and Adam almost collapsing with laughter. As he recovered he chuckled "See, he always knows when you are around!" *** "Wow, Henry" remarked the Ultimate Cadet, "so in your dreams you are Prime Minister!" "Why not?" smiled Henry shaking both their hands, "after all, I cannot do much worse than some of the past occupants. So, to what do I owe this pleasure then?" As the Ultimate Cadet explained how they had entered Henry's dreams, Henry replied "Any excuse for an e-stim session eh?" and then got down to business asking if they had had any joy. They both shook their heads and as they did so, Henry frowned. "Please, my friends" he pleaded, "You have got to help me find the source of these nightmares. As I said, I miss being on patrol with you during the day, I miss the chance to become the Ultimate Musketeer and..." "Henri, mon amis" said the Ultimate Titan, "we are determined to find the reason and to restore you to your Ultimate self" and with that sought permission from Henry, which was granted, to lift Henry over his head whilst still sitting in his chair. As he lifted him over his head, the Ultimate Cadet moaned "Oh, Henry, if that was you as the Ultimate Musketeer, I would be underneath the Ultimate Titan sucking him dry!" Just as he spoke, there was a knock at the door and quickly getting the Ultimate Titan to lower him, he called "Enter" and a rather flustered man, who looked identical to Henry in every way, save his "Oh, do excuse me, sir, but this just came for you" dashed in holding a sheet of paper. As he handed it to Henry, he looked at the two Ultimates who waved politely and as they did, he moaned "Oh, my god!" and dashed out of the room. "Foreign Secretary" replied Henry to the unanswered question, "in laymen's terms the aspect of myself that cannot deal with how massive you are" and with that he read the note and as he did, his face drained of all colour. He looked up and whispered hoarsely "My friends, help me!" and with that turned the sheet around that caused both Ultimates to gasp in horror. On the sheet was a declaration of war between Henry's nation and France with Adam having been taken hostage with the final line of "Give me Henry, or see Adam killed" sending a shiver down their spines.
  4. CardiMuscleman

    The Dreams of the Ultimate Musketeer

    Part Four "Yes, that's it, Hercules, lock out those arms. Yes, I know you are gritting your teeth in agony, but think of all those muscle fibres being destroyed in that chest of yours, and how once the DOMS has faded every man in ancient Greece will want to slap them. And the same goes for you too He-Man, really flex those biceps on those curls and hold it for a count of two and then Skeletor will be forced to choose between worshipping you and fleeing for his life!" As the two heroes, training in nothing more than their posing shorts followed Adam's instruction, pushing their chest and arms to the limit of their endurance under the heat of the midday sun, their muscular bodies covered with sweat and the air full of their musk, Adam smiled to himself and thought "Where's Roger when you really need him?" As both men screamed as they reached their maximum effort, two more screams filled the air. These were screams of agonised ecstasy and as Adam peered through the window of his gym , he spied two figures in the distance starting to appear. As the slightly bigger one, slumped to his knees, threw back his head and roared "FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!" and the other one, only slightly smaller, grunted as he tried to steady himself Adam's smile was in danger of escaping his face. Turning to his clients, he said "Right, see you next week then. I've got two special customers to see to!" and with that practically jumped out of the window and ran to the two men. As he approached them, he got down on one knee and said, in an almost deferential tone, "Hail, Ultimate Titan, Ultimate Cadet, I, your humble servant, await your agonies!" and with that stood up with one hand on his posing suit. "We have come to help you" moaned the Ultimate Titan as he recovered from his declaration, "and help us all at the same time" *** "Yes, I know" nodded Adam, as the two Ultimates devoured the protein shakes he had made for them, "Henry's never been the same since that first nightmare. I mean, I try as hard as I can to make me into the Ultimate Musketeer, but, well, he just can't bring himself to do it. He talks about "a fate worse than death" but has never explained to me why. As the Ultimate Titan explained the nightmare that had put Henri into this position, Adam shook his head in disbelief. "But, that's not possible" he said, "he knows that all he has to do is invoke me and I will save him from anything" and then he suddenly gasped, "What if he's having a crisis of confidence? I shall be...undone!" "Undone?" asked the Ultimate Cadet "It's been four weeks since I became the Ultimate Musketeer and took control of Henry's body. That's what happens when he invokes me. I become him and he becomes me!" "Sorry?" asked the Ultimate Cadet, "You swap places?" "Places and Bodies!" replied Adam, "His body moves from where he is to here, during which time the gym is closed and he is able to train as hard as he likes, my body moves to where he is and I, for want of a better term, give those Cardinal's guards a right seeing to. But unless I am invoked with in the next five days, he will lose that ability!" "So these nightmares are deliberate then!" asked the Ultimate Titan and as Adam nodded, both Ultimates gasped "Your Eminence, I bring grave news!" As the Cardinal looked up, he smiled as he saw his spy, Milady de Winter, curtsey and kiss his ring. "The Ultimate Titan and the Ultimate Cadet have found out our plans and even now are colluding with Adam to save Henri!" "Good" replied the Cardinal, "everything is as I planned. I knew that those two men would fall for my trap. You have your orders, Milady, dispose of all of them once and for all!"
  5. CardiMuscleman

    The Dreams of the Ultimate Musketeer

    Part Three As the sun rose over Paris, Henri stood to attention saluting the new guards who were taking over his duty guarding the entrance to the Louvre Palace. The formal handover complete, Henri turned on the spot and marched towards the gate where he was pleasantly surprised to see Porthos and Roger greet him. "Special treat" said Roger, pointing to Porthos, "he lost our last wrestling match and so I told him to carry you home!" As Henri clambered onto Porthos's back he said "You know, this is why I became a Musketeer!" "To feel the strength of the Titan?" chuckled Porthos as he raised Henri high above his head before letting him sit straddling his shoulders "Well, that can come in handy" smiled Henri, "but, no, I mean the friendship. You offering to take me back to my digs when you don't have to. It's a shame that this never happens in 2018!" "So, anything interesting happen?" asked Roger "Hardly" replied Henri, "the most exciting thing that happened was a butterfly landing on a flower that I had never seen before" and with that he sighed, "Oh, as much as I like having to do these night duties, it's not the same as being on patrol with you Athos, Aramis and D'Artangan I say, and yet I know that until we work out why I am getting these nightmares I have to sleep during the day" and with that he yawned, apologising as he did so. "Don't you worry" smiled Roger, as they arrived at his digs, "We're still working on it" and nudged Porthos as the Titan knelt down to let Henri off. A few moments later, Henri was in bed fast asleep, and as he gently murmured to himself, Roger looked at Porthos who nodded. Kneeling down to be level with Henri Roger said "Henry, sorry to bother you, but Porthos and I fancy a good hard powerlifting session and well, boulders can't cut it any longer. Any chance we could pop to 2018 and have a real battle?" As Henri murmured "Of course" he started to glow and as Roger gestured for Porthos to hold Henri's other hand, the three of them vanished. *** "Right, Titan, ready for the biggest e-stim session of your life!" Porthos's moan of desire was greeted by a chuckle from Roger as he finished his work. "Now, Alexei told us that in order to find out the reason for Henry's nightmares, we would have to enter his dreams. Therefore, I've rigged up the mind transfer machine we have here to transfer our minds into Henry's mind but not transfer his out. In other words there will be four of us in there!" "Four?" asked Porthos, stopping mid squeeze of his nipples "Yes, you, me, Henry and Adam" replied Roger as he placed a helmet on to Henry's head, "I think it's Adam who is going to be key to all this!" and with that he stepped back and examined his handiwork. "So, you and me will be strapped into the chairs, I pull the lever and we get stimulated to the point where we would normally switch minds, however because we will both be concentrating as hard as possible on Henry, I think we shall be transferred into Henry's mind and therefore his dreams. The moment we get there the first thing we do is find Adam and explain what's been going on" and with the turned to Porthos who was already sitting in a chair, moaning with desire. As Roger strapped him in he chuckled "Something for the weekend, sir?" "Oui, mon amis" moaned Porthos, "let us hold our breaths and use our strength to break free of these restraints at the moment of maximum pain!" As Roger sat down and strapped himself in he smiled, "I never should have told you about BDSM should I?"
  6. CardiMuscleman

    Posing advice

    Well, I don't mind offering some assistance I say, after all, we are all in this together in a manner of speaking
  7. CardiMuscleman

    The Dreams of the Ultimate Musketeer

    Part Two Two weeks later, and at the Poome du Pin, the traditional inn of choice for Musketeers, Roger, Porthos and the Captain shared a weary look at each other and they all sighed. "These last two weeks" said the Captain, "have been the worse of my life. Henri, the man that I would often consider as a son, struck down in his prime by these nightmares that make it impossible for him to sleep during the night and therefore becoming the only active Musketeer to be assigned night duties" "I know" added Porthos, drinking the last of his beer, "And yet, it is strange that when he sleeps during the day, these nightmares don't plague him, the problem is though that we Musketeers operate during the day, at night, well we..." and with that he nudged Roger who finished "...like to do our own thing" "Indeed" replied the Captain, "I have often wondered what you three get up to in the evenings. After all, you are all completely different. Porthos, the strongest man ever to live, you, Roger, nothing like as big as Porthos and yet almost as strong, and Henri, as big as Porthos but nothing like as strong. And yet you all seem to act like brothers to each other!" "We are brothers" said Porthos, "when I became a Musketeer, you told me yourself Captain, that we are one big brotherhood of men. This is why we are determined to find out what is wrong with Henri and ensure that he returns to full duty!" "I hope so" said the Captain as he stood up to leave, "Her Majesty and the Duke want another meeting soon, and without Henri I dare not agree to it!" and with that he doffed his hat to the two men, who nodded back in reply, and left. As he did so, Roger leaned in to Porthos and asked "Do you think he knows that we are lovers? And that we are the Ultimates?" "The latter, unlikely" replied Porthos, "the former, who can tell!" and with that drank the last of his beer and announced that if there was one person who could solve the problem of Henri's nightmares, it was the man who had enabled them all to become the Ultimates, Alexei, and so that with that resolved, the two men rode off to Alexei's cave deep in the Bois de Boulogne. Alexei listened carefully and using his seeing water to review Henri's plight declared "You need to go to the source of the problem. You need to go into his dreams!" "But that's impossible isn't it?" declared Porthos to which Alexei nodded sadly. "Do you mean into his dreams, literally?" asked Roger "Yes" replied Alexei, "you and Porthos would need to enter his dreams, find out what is causing these nightmares and defeat them at source!" As Alexei finished his reply, a smirk started to cross Roger's face, that turned into a grin and then a massive smile as he turned to Porthos and said "We are going on a trip into the dreams of our mutual friend!" and whispered into Porthos's ears "and get a good e-stim session at the same time!"
  8. Part One "Oh, I am so sorry, Captain" yawned Henry right in the middle of a briefing, "but these last few days have been terrible!" The Captain nodded in appreciation saying "I understand, Henri, but, it's just another example of your chivalry. You agreed to look after Porthos during this time when he sprained his ankle, but what you have done is above and beyond the call of duty. Carrying him to and from his bed to the toilet, helping him dress and wash, Henri, you are more a gentleman than any of us!" and with that smiled as Henry was already snoring leaning against a pillar in the Captain's office. Carrying Henri to his room, he laid the Musketeer on the bed and left the room with a quiet "You shall be well rewarded for your care" and with that closed the door. Several hours later, Henri yawned and said "I'm sorry, Captain, you were saying" and with that went to stretch however found himself unable to move. Thinking that he had wrapped himself up in his bedclothes very tightly, usually an after effect of Adam's influence, he opened his eyes and then screamed in horror. "Ah, excellent, the English Musketeer is awake" There, before Henri, stood Cardinal Richlieu and as Henri looked around, his face drained of its colour. "That's right, my dear Musketeer" cackled the Cardinal, "you are in my personal quarters, specifically in the section that I like to call "The House of Truth" or as you would more likely call it, "The House of Pain" and with that, he nodded to the man stood next to him with a leather hood over his head. He pulled a lever and instantly Henri screamed in agony as his arms and legs were pulled at forty five degree angles to each other. "Now, that I have your complete attention" continued the Cardinal, "I would like an answer to a question that has been causing me no end of trouble these past few years, but I hope that its a question that you will answer, especially in your current position" and with that he stepped forward and leaning over Henri, practically touching noses he asked "When is the next meeting of the Duke of Buckingham and Her Majesty?" Henri's eyes opened wide in horror. The Cardinal knew about the meetings, the meetings that he had sworn, on pain of death, to protect the existence of. Hoping that the Cardinal hadn't seen his reaction Henri replied "No! The First Minister of England, and Her Majesty, meeting? Pull the other one!" "If you insist!" replied the Cardinal and as Henri screamed again he added "Oh, and don't think that your friends can help you. Roger is currently, how do you say, "do the trick" and as for Porthos, well, let's just say he's finding out just how Sisyphus felt at the end of his task. Now, when is their next meeting? Or do I have to get nasty?" and with that Henri screamed in agony again, this time so loud was the scream that... ...he sat bolt upright still screaming and as he opened his eyes he saw the Captain, Porthos and Roger all holding his hands and asking what the matter was. "A nightmare" Henri panted, "A nightmare that I never want to experience ever again" Little was Henri to know that that was the first of many.
  9. CardiMuscleman

    The Student and the Coach

    Well, that was actually the end of that story, but you never know.
  10. CardiMuscleman

    Americanised Stories

    When I write my stories I always try to include at least one American out of simple courtesy that most members are American.
  11. CardiMuscleman

    The Student and the Coach

    Part Eight Each time James gunned the engine of the car, Larry benched the car and at the maximum extent, he grunted as he felt the electricity surge through his chest. Each grunt caused James to moan and thanks to the Bluetooth function in the car, not only could Larry hear the moans but James could hear the pounding of Larry's heart getting closer and closer to its maximum, prompting James to moan "Come on, coach, really show your strength, your power, your manliness. Next bench, take a deep breath and then hold it, both your breath and car whilst I send as much power through your heart as possible". As Larry grunted, "Yeah, I am a man!", he took a giant breath, benched the car and held it. This was James's ultimate fantasy and turning everything on in the car that he could, he leaned back and listened to Larry's heart pounding. It wasn't long before he had practically ripped off his pants and rubbing his eleven inch member started to feel himself lose control. Encouraging Larry to "hold it, hold it until you reach the limits of your strength, and then hold it for a second longer" he started to rub the tool and moaned "Oh, fuck, yeah, Coach. You, Porthos, Hercules, He-Man, oh, how I wish I could somehow drain all their strength and combine in it me. I've been feeling the urge ever since I started training with you. I, Oooh, fuck, I need to step on stage, show off their muscles and strength in the one body, bench a thousand pounds for reps, hit such a massive front lat spread that tape measures snap, to have such a cavernous vacuum that ever the pros moan with desire, oh, yes, yes, yes, I can feel myself cumming, yeah Coach, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!" and with that James came so violently that his orgasmic scream jolted Larry from his own muscle dreams of wrestling Hulk Hogan to a stand still and as he lowered the car he peered in to see James completely covered in cum and passed out. As he did, an idea crossed Larry's mind and he smiled "Your wish is my command, James" *** "This is the big one, folks, the pairs contest in this, the first bodybuilding contest at the Commonwealth Games being held here in England. The Games, which have the slogan "Everyone welcome", wanted to become the first international federated multi sport games to include specifically same sex competitions, and if the stature of the contestants we have seen today is any guide, the Commonwealth have taken that idea and run with it. Now, there is a an anxious wait as the results of the pairs contest is being announced. The bronze medal, representing Canada, goes to the pair from Vancouver, Tim and Tim, the silver medal goes to Wales with Ioan and Barry, and the gold medal goes to, Larry and James from England who have been the crowd's favourite throughout this competition" As Larry and James stepped onto the rostrum to collection their gold medals, they bowed to the crowd who had banners reading "Go Team England" before receiving their medals. As the cross of St. George was hoisted into the air and "Jerusalem" played, both men stood to their seven foot height and sung with every bit of gusto they could before raising both their hands in triumph and accepting the roar of the crowd. As they were interviewed afterwards,. they announced what many has thought could happen, but still broke the hearts of many of their fans, they were going to get married that autumn and to celebrate would set a new world record by pulling a plane as many feet as pounds had been raised in donations to a charity set up to, as Larry put it, "enable people who feel that they have been put down by the world to rise to their true standing" and with that looked at James who winked back and whispered "When we are ten feet tall, it will be a doddle!"
  12. CardiMuscleman

    how long to rest after tooth extraction

    When I had a tooth extracted, I was given the following timetable: Moment to extraction until bleeding stops (minimum of 14 hours): Don't do anything From when bleeding stops: Be very gentle for the next 48 minimum, continue to not use straws or anything that makes you suck so as to prevent a dry socket At least a week after the extraction: Exercise gently At least two weeks after the extraction (but not before a dentist confirms a successful extraction): Train like a man!
  13. CardiMuscleman

    Posting progress pics on social media

    The general rule of thumb I believe applies is: For people aiming to become fit, as often as you deem suitable. For off season bodybuilders, every day. For contest bodybuilders, every day until 12 weeks out then media silence until the day before the contest.
  14. CardiMuscleman

    The Student and the Coach

    Part Seven Half an hour later, and Larry was transformed. As he sat down with his head just touching the ceiling he moaned "Tell me" Using an app on his tablet James read "Well, as I said you're 20 feet and 8 inches tall, and therefore given your body mass weigh 2,619½lbs!" "And" panted Larry, "am I big?" "Bigger than anyone on the entire planet!" replied James which prompted Larry to moan "Measure me!" Lining up the tablet with Larry's frame, James took a photo and after entering Larry's new height announced "Biceps: 63 inches, Chest: 174 inches, Waist: 130 inches, Quads: 94 inches, Calves: 63 inches" and with that looked up to see Larry's head leaning back moaning with desire and so added "which means that for every inch of height you are now you are carrying 10½lbs of mass, or to put it another way, if you were that massive at your original height you'd weigh 655lbs!" "Strong?" Larry asked in a moan "Well, we know that you can bench 80kg for 4 reps so that's a 1RM of 87kg so times that by 10½ times, we are looking at a max bench of 914kg or 2,010lbs..." "But that is 133% of my bodyweight" replied Larry …"so that would mean close to 3,500lbs so in theory you could bench a car!" "Then that is what I want to do, let me out of here, place me underneath a car, let me bench it, let me demonstrate my strength, my power, my manliness. I need to do this!" "Well, what a good thing I had the foresight to install this then?" and with that James pressed a button on the wall and as the opposite wall rose it revealed a garage, the same height as the room, with a gleaming new car in the middle of it. "That is a brand new Corolla" smiled James, "which weighs 2,800lbs. Now I know what you are going to say, but let me explain. I am going to make myself 7ft tall, that would make me 300lbs for a total of 3,100lbs. Your challenge is to bench me and the car for as many reps as you can whilst doing two things. First, holding your breath and two, withstanding the electric charge from the battery which I want to send across your mighty heart. Yes, that's right, Coach, every time I have listened to your pulse after a gym session it's not because I want to know how to take a pulse, it's because I'm a cardiomaniac, the sound of a pounding heart drives me mad, to the point where I cum. Make me cum coach and make us both men!"
  15. CardiMuscleman

    Oh, good! American Gladiators is getting another revival!

    And dependent on how well it is marketed, Sky Television in the UK may decide to have another stab at it themselves (although their last outing left a lot of to be desired, such as a set that was 10% of the size of the original set)