I think I get where the OP is coming from. A trainer of mine said if I go to the gym a lot and watch porn then I'm surrounding myself with images of hot fit guys, and I'm naturally going to compare myself. Body dismorphia I really get, truly I do. People tell me all the time that I don't see how big I am.
I think on here though, there is everything from reality and training talk for those of us who are growing ourselves, to fantasy for all. Fantasies are to be enjoyed. If they're having a negative effect then it's perhaps not for you. I don't think I'll ever be as big as I want to be, but I'm still going to get as big as I can, and that's why I enjoy this site.
I can't agree that it's a humiliating site, and I'm really sorry to hear it makes you feel inferior, anciadider. Perhaps talking about it with guys on here could be a first step in turning things around for you?