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About Rue96

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  1. Putting in my thoughts here as well. Like deebee, muscle has somehow become almost an addiction for me. In the sense that if someone was not fit, muscular, or big-framed in some sense, I would not be as interested in that guy. And yet, I am also not someone who would enjoy the idea of casual sex. So, it's a weird space where I have to question in what balance do I include this fetish, and in what portion do I be realistic in finding a relationship. For me, the fetish is strong enough to almost be a problem. In the sense that I can lose focus of my life if I don't balance the desire in some form or another. If I don't do anything it gnaws on my psyche forever, (not too bad, but annoying) and on the other end if I overindulge it or express it in the wrong way (for me that's anything related to casual sex or porn), it becomes almost engulfing in its intensity. One thing that IS sort of helping me is starting to work out. Ironically, it eases the tension. But I always think: "How do I coexist with this?". I don't hate having such an interest in muscle, in fact I enjoy it. It's rather the difficulties that surround such intense want for it that tires me out.

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