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About CoyoteR

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  1. “…You called who?” “Listen Eric, you need to talk to people about your powers and these people will understand. I bet they can even help you use your abilities to do good things for the world.” Eric’s eyes narrowed. “I /am/ doing good things for the world, I don’t need you or them telling me what I should or shouldn’t be doing.” He stood up from his desk slowly. “What did you tell them Matt?” Matt backed up half a step. “I know I know, but it’ll be good to talk to someone in a similar situation right? A lot of people on their team have abilities too, they’ll understand; I mean they’re heroes after all.” Eric slid his chair out of the way. “What. did. you. tell. them. Matt?” “N-Not everything! Just a little so they’d send someone who could talk to you–” “Someone who could /talk/ to m–” #DING DONG# Eric spun around and looked downstairs then back to Matt. “I suppose that’s them then. You. Stay. Here.” Eric turned and went down the steps towards the front door, Matt tried to go after him but couldn’t move past the door frame. He just leaned out, looking down. Eric approached the door and peered out the peephole, then stepped back and burst out laughing, the sound made Matt’s blood run cold… Eric opened the door and– Matt tried to let out a wailing shout but he seemed unable to speak as well. Why’d they send him?! He thought. What were they thinking?! Eric smiled innocently. “Hello…? Can I help you Mr…?” “It’s Captain actually.” The red, white and blue hero replied. “We received a call to come check out a possible human with abilities… It sounded like a crank call but I was in the area anyway… Are you the young man that placed the call?” “…I am, my friend is upstairs.” Matt screamed inside, trying to tell the superhero to run or call for help, instead he found himself turning around and laying on Eric’s bed and closing his eyes, feigning sleep. Eric escorted the hero upstairs and spoke in a low voice, though Matt could hear perfectly. “Don’t wake him up, he’s very dangerous. He has the ability to control reality at will.” The handsome hero turned to Eric and looked at him more than a little unconvinced. “Mmhmm… That’s what you said on the call.” He pulled some sort of device off his belt. “They sent me with this, it’ll scan him and tell us what his deal is… if anything.” He pressed a few buttons then set the device on the nightstand pointed at Matt. “It’ll just take a few minutes.” Matt was able to crack his eyes open slightly as the hero leaned against Eric’s dresser and Eric sat down opposite him in the desk chair. Eric smiled and nodded. “Cool, would it be okay if I asked you a couple of questions while we waited…?” The patriotic hero chuckled and nodded, he got this all the time. “Sure why not kid.” Eric’s smile widened into an insidious grin, though only Matt seemed to notice. “There’s all kinds of rumors about where you came from and your powers… How strong are you really?” The hero laughed. “Pretty strong, not as much as some things but strong enough to move a decent sized car if I need to.” Eric appeared to go doe-eyed in wonder then his smile returned. “Wow I can believe that, you’re like what almost 300 lbs of muscle?” Matt’s eyes widened from the bed as the hero’s uniform suddenly ballooned out, his lean muscular frame replaced by one of a clear lifter and bodybuilder, but the man just nodded. “Yeah somewhere around there.” Eric smiled “And I heard you were actually born a long time ago and then frozen and that’s why you’re not super old.” Once more the hero nodded. “That’s a bit of an abridged version but true.” “Wow, if you were thawed out like 7 or so years ago… You must’ve been like 16 when you were frozen.” The hero’s face and body shifted once more from a grown man in his mid to late 30′s down to a buff young man of 23 or so. Once again the hero nodded. “Yup, pretty close to the mark again.” Eric smiled and seemed to hesitate a moment… but then he spoke. “Sorry if this is kind of personal, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want but… Do you ever get in trouble with the rest of your team because of all the modelling and porn you do on the side?” Matt’s hopes were dashed as he watched the posture and costume of the hero shift into a red, white, and blue muscle tee and spandex. A branded sweat band and baseball cap appeared on the hero denoting sponsors as the now young man gave a snort. “Naw it’s fine. Every once in a while I get a wisecrack but this is America, being a superhero doesn’t make money, so there’s nothin’ wrong with me doing some side work to pay for the good work I do.” Eric nodded in clear agreement before delivering the final blow. “Absolutely, absolutely…. I guess I was more referring to the rumors that sprung up from the /amount/ of /gay/ porn that you do… Reporters wonder if you’re just a nymphomaniac exhibitionist gay jock-slut who stumbled into superpowers…” Matt couldn’t watch, he closed his eyes for a long moment thinking they must have something to prevent this, something to warn them if something like this was happening… But when he opened his eyes, there was his hero… Clad in a red, white, and blue poser speedo and nothing more, save of course his sponsored merchandise… The “hero” seemed to just smile hungrily at Eric… He reached out and picked up the device on the nightstand looking it over. “Hmm… Well it looks like your friend is clean… I wonder then… why did you call me out here…?” He sauntered over to Eric, adjusting his overly full poser; Eric smiled innocently before reaching out and cupping the hero’s package. The “hero” let out a whimpering moan… “I think you know…” And suddenly Matt was laying on the downstairs couch instead of Eric’s bed, but he was still unable to move as he heard the two of them go at it upstairs…
  2. “Eric… Don’t you think that this is kind of unnecessary…” Matt had taken to speaking a bit more carefully and deferentially to his best friend. Without even looking as they walked, Eric coolly replied. “Oh really? Why would you say that?” Matt kept pace, he had tried walking slower to give him some time to talk Eric down but it hadn’t worked, if anything it just seemed to annoy his now god-like friend. “You’re kind of above them now… You can do anything, you can have anything. Why even give these guys a second thought?” Eric suddenly stopped, Matt froze; he knew he was standing on thin ice at this point, he had to be careful. “Who they are and what they’ve done are exactly why they deserve my attention. Random strangers I can understand…” He turned facing Matt, a look that combined frustration, betrayal, and a hint of sadness on his face. “…But why on Earth would you care what I did to /them/? They made your life as miserable as mine.” “It’s not them I care about, it’s you Eric! You’re going overboard with these powers. Having fun is one thing, but you’re ruining lives, I’m worried about you man…” Matt tried to be gentle but firm; Eric had made it so Matt would be the only other person aware of his abilities and the… changes he made with them… But that was something that could be easily taken away. Eric’s tone turned frosty. “That’s what’s important to you? That I don’t ruin their lives?” “…Yes, please. Let’s go home, we could do anything with your powers, why waste our time with this?” Eric turned away and was silent for a moment. “…Fine. I won’t hurt them the way they hurt me… But that’s the last thing you get to ask of me.” “Wha—Eric? What do you me–?” Suddenly Matt couldn’t speak, and Eric just continued on towards their house. Matt tried to shout but it was to no avail; instead he just jogged, trying to catch up. The three bullies were hanging outside on the porch laughing hysterically over some crude joke. Matt tried to move ahead of Eric but found he couldn’t do that either, and had to settle for just walking behind him. “Heh! What are you fags doin’ here? Out on a date?” The other two laughed. Eric gave them a wicked smile and suddenly they were all shirtless, though that didn’t seem to bother them. “Look at this homo, I think he’s checking us out.” “Yeah! What the fuck you little queer, you got a problem!?” Eric’s smile became flat. “I do actually, is that a problem?” One of them stepped forward, pulling back to take a swing at Eric. Matt flinched but Eric simply gave an annoyed twitch of his eye, suddenly the three stepped back together, now their pants were gone. “You loved calling people fags, but from now on you three are not only gay, you’re incredibly passionately in love with each other. You’ll never bother anyone ever again, you are far too focused on screwing each other…. So go… Get to it.” Wordlessly they stepped inside the house and closed the door. Eric turned away and Matt found that he could speak again. “…You said you’d leave them alone–” Eric whirled on Matt. “No, I didn’t! I said I wouldn’t ruin their lives! They will live them out quite happy now, which is FAR more than they deserve! And that is the LAST time you get to have any say in what I do!” Matt stepped back, pale in the face as Eric stormed off. This had gotten out of hand… He needed to get help…
  3. “Eric… Stop it, I know what you’re thinking, just let it go.” Matt looked from the two formal looking young men to his friend Eric who was currently giving them an icy glare. “Let what go?” One spoke up in an irritatingly nasal voice. “We just want to talk to you about your eternity! Your immortal souls! They are in peril if you go into such a place!” He opened his noodle-ey arms melodramatically, gesturing at the small gay bar he had stopped the pair from entering. Matt put his face in his palm. “I don’t like being preached to Matt… I just wanted to go get a drink. I really was just minding my own business this time…” Eric eyed the two now frowning men. “I know but that doesn’t mean it would be okay to wreck their lives dude…” Eric turned his glare on Matt for a moment causing a momentary chill to run down his spine. He looked back to well dressed pair and spoke through clenched teeth. “…Fine. Let us through, we just want to get a couple of drinks… Please.” Eric took a step and the second and quieter one actually physically blocked him from the door. “W-Wait!” He stammered. “You don’t want people to know you’re one of the disgusting people that goes here, do you? Everyone inside is going to go to He–” Matt just began opening his mouth but it was already done. Where the pair of annoying proselytizers stood were now a pair of handsome, if dull looking, male model types, the pushier one being suddenly rather shirtless. Matt gaped as Eric spoke up. “Sorry guys! This is just a bar, the closest gay strip club is almost clear across town.” Eric rambled off some quick streets, directing them to a rather seedy gay strip club downtown. The former talkative one put on a confused look then a pout. “Aww, I can’t believe it, I’m so bad with directions…” He eyed Matt and Eric, appearing to suddenly get an idea, flipping up the front of his shirt revealing his new ripped stomach, lightly running his hand over it. “If you guys showed us the way we’d be super grateful…” His partner put on a half grin, running his hand through his hair. “No. You guys were kind of assholes, you can find your own damn way or I’m sure some other random strangers to take you.” Eric stated flatly, walking past them as well as the bar while they stood looking flustered and confused. Matt quickly jogged to catch up with him. “Hey man, you didn’t hav–” “I was WAY nicer than I wanted to be. Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do, when the truth is I can do anything and no one would ever even know.” Matt paled a little once again but didn’t say a word as they made their way silently down the street…
  4. “No! No way! You’ve gone way too far this time Eric!” “Matt, will you calm down and stop being so melodramatic! How could you possibly be mad about this, I’ve fixed everything for him.” “Are you kidding?! You seriously can’t see why I’d be upset about this? He’s my grandfather, he was the head of my entire family, he helped take care of me ever since I was little, he- “ “He was dying! He was miserable! Laying in a hospital bed just waiting for it to all end! You told me yourself! I did this just as much for you ya know…” “Oh no, don’t you dare try and justify yourself by putting this on me. I told you I was sad, I told you that I wish he wasn’t so sick- “ “And now he’s not! He’s healthy as a horse!” “He looks ridiculous! Like a male model from the wrong decade!” “Look, his style /seems/ outdated but its only because I didn’t want to play around with his head too much; if I did then he wouldn’t even really be the same person anymore-“ “You’re telling me THAT guy outside is otherwise the same person?” “…Fundamentally yes… Just with a few improvements…” “You made him gay didn’t you.” “Well what does it matter! Your grandma passed away like a bajillion years ago, this is his chance to be happy again!” “…Eric, you’re really letting this get out of hand.” “You worry too much Matt… I could fix that for you if you want.” “Not funny…”
  5. Matt is totally over-reacting! I am not letting this power go to my head, I’m helping people and making them happier! If I’d known he was going to complain so much I wouldn’t have let him in on it. Perfect example! Our friend Brent? He was all gung ho about enlisting and he was going to start basic training next month after we graduate. He was always going on and on about it, all over facebook, all over tumblr, with awkward selfies and recruitment posts. And the truth was, he was kinda scrawny for the army, I’m pretty sure he was just trying to talk a big game and psych himself up to go. He honestly would have probably had a real rough time in boot camp. I figured, why make him have a bad experience when he was clearly excited about being in the military? In fact, would I really be his friend if I didn’t help do everything I could to make sure that he was successful in what he was doing? …Alright so I might have gone a little overboard, I’m willing to admit that. But in the end isn’t it the thought that counts? It was just a few tweaks here and there; making him a few years older than us, making him stronger, more masculine, increasing his confidence, these are all things that will help him in the field! And so what if I also made him like guys! So what if I made him a bit more dominant! I did him a huge favor and really it’s a small price for the rest of the package. Of course I made sure he wasn’t stationed anywhere too dangerous and all that either. Anyway, his parent’s are so proud of him and from these new pictures he’s been posting, he certainly doesn’t look like he would be complaining! (Thanks to some really awesome people in the community I think I've recovered all but 2 stories from my old tumblr Sadly the last part I wrote for this series is one of them but it seemed to be my second most popular set so I've been told I should get it back out there @[email protected])
  6. What goes around... comes around? This story was originally for one of http://amalianetwork.tumblr.com/ ‘s weekly challenges; I always wished I had participated in them more. Derek was dorky, overweight, and well… really kinda super ugly at this point… To hear him tell it, people had treated him like garbage all his life. Derek didn’t realize it but he’d only really been miserable for about a week… The curse I’d placed on him was just to have a bit of fun at his expense I suppose. “yTfr JyHg NfGpQw uSkOl NfGpQw” or loosely translated: “What goes around comes around,” that sounded like something he definitely needed. Derek isn’t the biggest jerk in the world, he’s actually pretty normal for the most part I guess; he just talks about other people WAY too much, poking fun at them mostly. Not to their faces of course (like I said he’s not a super jerk) but oftentimes to friends or other coworkers. Anyway, I have had the pleasure of being his best friend for about 14 years. We’ve hung out since we were in middle school actually and ended up sticking together through school then as room-mates, straight up to our current tedious office jobs. Anyways, I’d always been a bit of a dabbler in things occult and when I came across a curse that would inflict his mockery of others back onto himself, well… I couldn’t resist. The week started off kind of predictably actually, poor Phil from the office downstairs was hugely fat and the higher ups hadn’t ever seen fit to promote the guy. He came by to drop off some paperwork then sure enough by lunchtime, suddenly Derek isn’t in the cube next to me, now he’s downstairs and so overweight he had food delivered to him for lunch. The following days all went in a pretty similar fashion, I’d see Derek at the end of each day and could guess some of the things he had said: his thick glasses, his nasally voice, his weird face, his…bowel troubles (ick), it went on and on. The weight though was probably one of the funniest things, he’d go from being morbidly obese to rail thin from day to day, always talking shit about the other side I guess. So I like I said, he’s been dealing with this about a week and I think he’s learned his lesson so its about time to let him in on it. We went to the grocery store together Saturday morning like always, the only difference was Derek positively stuffing the cart with junk food, waddling alongside me today. “Hey… So I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something…” He looked up at me, squinting slightly before wheezing out in his shrill voice. “What? …Y-You’re not moving out are you?” I raised up my hands shaking my head. “No! No no no.” He let out a sigh of relief and continued back on trudging forward. “I just wanted to let you in on–” “Hahaha-*snort-wheeze*-Heh. Hey Alex, check this guy out!” Derek was holding up some workout magazine he’d grabbed up from the bookstand. “Look at this exercise homo! Just cuz he’s decent looking he thinks he’s somebody important. He probably spends hours on making himself look good every morning then I bet all he does is work out and get off on other dudes!” *snort-laugh* I laughed for a moment then suddenly winced, grabbing my head a moment (I guess you shouldn’t look directly into the curse…) then looked up and there stood the new him. “Wow… uh Derek?” “Yeah dude?” He placed the magazine back on the shelf and continued on. “So.. you know all that weird magic-ey stuff I’m kind of into?” “Yeah; that occult crap is so stupid and such a waste of your time bro.” My head hurt again a moment, looking back up at him, though nothing seemed changed… “Well I sort of… put a curse on you… and uhh…” He turned and smiled that weird too perfect new smile at me. “I know you tried to Alex, but you know I’m much better at that kind of thing than you.” He took a step closer to me, I backed up half a step while he continued. “So instead, this morning I thought it would be only fair to give you a taste of your own medicine.” “W-What? What are you talking about?” He took another step closer, wrapping one of his now large hands around my back and pulled me into a deep kiss, his tongue pressing into my mouth. I, of course, freaked out. It took some struggling (he was so damn strong now!) but I managed to pull away. Stumbling back, I tried spitting the taste of him out of my mouth. “What the hell! Sorry dude, but I’m not into fitness-junkie queers!” He grinned widely at me. That perfect sexy smile of his always made me melt and damn he knew it. I closed the distance between us, running my hands over his muscular chest, kissing up his neck and square jawline before finding his mouth. All the while, his hands explored my body, squeezing and caressing my back before trailing his fingers down over my six pack. God… sometimes I’d worry that we should be doing more than going to the gym and fucking, but times like these… “Mmm… Alex, lets hurry up and finish shopping. We still have to get in another 2 hours at the gym, Summer’s only 5 months away and you’ve barely put on any muscle.” I blushed but smiled back to him, he was right; I may be incredibly fit but I don’t really bulk up like he does, my build is much leaner than Derek’s but that’s alright; I love his muscles, I don’t need some of my own. We checked out, then headed out to the car. I loaded everything up then turned and saw Derek staring at some roided out douchebag jogging shirtless with his dog. That smile returned to his face when he looked back at me, probably noticing the sour look on mine. “Hmm.. Whats wrong?” His eyes widened a little then his voice had a teasing tone to it, like he was goading me. “Jealous?” “Hmph!” I scoffed at him. “Why would I be jealous of some muscle monster exhibitionist?” He shrugged, that teasing smile widening across his face again as he looked me up and down. I just stood there and scratched my bare chest lightly before placing my hands at my sides, smirking at him… “Whatever, I know you like what you see, just like everyone else. Besides I’m way bigger than that guy anyway…”
  7. A huge thank you to TheGreatStoryteller for finding a couple of my older works! And apologies for the white background with black font, I'm not sure how to edit that to the reverse... but anyways, enjoy Gym Confusion “The fuck are you looking at old man? If you want personal training, you pay at the front desk.” “My apologies… Actually I was drawn to you because I set my chronivac to let me know if someone else is in possession of one… or have I made a mistake..?” “…Wh-What–?! Dammit… Yeah, yeah I’ve got one but keep it down!” “No worries, no worries. I was really just here looking to maybe get a personal trainer, but I don’t know if it’s worth it yet… For now I really just want to make sure I’m using the equipment correctly; for example this machine over here, is this the right way to use it?” “Err… uh yeah, that looks right. You’re fine.” “… … You gave yourself that body and this job without actually giving yourself the knowledge to be a personal trainer, didn’t you?” “What?! No! Err… Maybe, but that’s an easy fix!” “Oh absolutely, absolutely. Here in fact, I can take care of that for you…” “Hey wait, you’ve got it on your phone? That’s okay I can do it myself–” “Pish posh… just a little adjustment… Ah there we are. How’s that?” “Err… I still don’t know how to use the equipment sir…” “Hmm that’s no good…. There, that should be a bit better… But it looks like you still don’t know how to use it… Why don’t you just go up to your manager and tell him you’re quitting and are working for me now?” “Quitting? …B-But Daddy, I–” “Now now, we both know you didn’t really take the job here to be a personal trainer. You were just looking for a place where you could get thoroughly plowed day after day, and you’ve gotten that. But working for me, you won’t ever need to fake your way through workout advice again… And I promise I’ll make you squeal like you never have before… Now go, I’ll be waiting in the car.” “…Yes Daddy.”
  8. If you can find them, that is one of the series where I seem to be missing most if not all of the parts
  9. If Wishes Were Fishes “Hey… your step-dad isn’t here… …is he?” “No asshole, and don’t even call him that, his name’s Dave. He’s just some fat old asshole friend of my mom’s whose staying with us for a while…” “Well whatever dude… he’s a total perv and a creeper. Remember last time we were playing basketball out front and he was watching us through the window? Blech… My girl doesn’t even look at me like that…” “Don’t you think I know? Try living with him. Anyway, its whatever, he got up early this morning and said he was going fishing for the weekend.” “Cool, wanna get a bite to eat and go play Call of Duty or something? I don’t have to get back to school ‘til Tuesday, we can hang out all weekend.” “Cool, yeah sure… Ugh… hang on /Dave/ is texting me…” “What? Why? What’s he saying?” “What the hell… He says he caught some amazing magical wish granting fish…? The asshat must be high or something… Wait he attached a picture…” “Holy shit he did?! Let me see! Nnngh, fuck… Daddy’s so hot…” “Wh–D-Daddy? What happened to Dav– Daddy… What happened to our shorts…Whats —Ngh!” “Dude, you okay? I said isn’t Daddy so hot?” “—Yeah! Oh man! We’re so lucky he lets us live with him, with every guy in town throwing themselves at him… I can hardly wait til he gets home…” “Me too… I’m so glad I dropped out of school so we can… take care of him… together.” “Ooooh! He said he’s cutting his trip short and we better have been behaved… And we better be ready to properly greet him…” “Yay! I’ll get the lube!”
  10. Hot New App: Chat Exchange Looking to better yourself? Have you worked hard and have useful or attractive qualities in abundance? Try Chat Exchange! Maybe exchange some knowledge for looks, skills for body enhancements. Our state of the art algorithm will connect you with other members who have things to trade that YOU want! Try it now! …User ElvenLord416 connected… …User Bball4evar96 connected… Bball4evar96: …hello? ElvenLord416: Hey, posted my pic, what r ur stats? Y no pic? Makes it hard to trade… Bball4evar96: oh… sorry. its my first time. ElvenLord416: Ahh…… Cool! No worries I can help. Just click on the camera icon in the program and you can load up a selfie from your phone if you’ve got one saved, you can also check my pic in there too. ElvenLord416: Wow! Ur pretty jacked! I mostly have to trade on my smarts! Bball4evar96: yea… yea… but I got shit i need to fix… my grades suck so bad i’m gonna lose my scholarship, my girl is gonna leave me cuz she says I have too many trust issues, whatever the hell that means, plus my eyes are so bad doc makes me wear these glasses now… ElvenLord416: Wow… Well if you make some smart trades you can definitely make what you’ve got work for you. Bball4evar96: yeah that’s what my friend told me… but wait. smart trades? I thought we just exchange stuff like equally. ElvenLord416: Ah yeah this is your first time. Nope! The way it works is the trades get worked out between individual users. After all something might be worth more to you and less to me or vice versa. Bball4evar96: oh… ok… ElvenLord416: …how bout we try a small one to start out? Bball4evar96: ok sure, you seem to know what youre doing. ElvenLord416: Cool! Hmm… You said your glasses bug you. How about I give you my good eyesight in exchange for… 15 lbs of your muscle. The way it works is, once I type out an exchange somewhere in my message the app picks up on it, so if that works for you just say okay or sure or yes, something like that in your reply and the app will register your acknowledgement. Bball4evar96: lol… OK? #Exchange accepted… PROCESSING…Complete# Bball4evar96: holy shit!!!1 i can see right again! ElvenLord416: Yeah dude, that’s how this works. Bball4evar96: man this is crazy, i can train back up again but youre like stuck with glasses… ElvenLord416: Eh. For now anyway, you’d be surprised what kinds of things you can trade on here. Wanna do another? Bball4evar96: shit yeah dude! ElvenLord416: Alright, how about I exchange half of my knowledge of calculus for 1 inch of your height? Bball4evar96: ….alright. can’t get that back, but no big deal, i play baseball not basketball. #Exchange accepted… PROCESSING…Complete# ElvenLord416: Perfect, feel any smarter? Bball4evar96: dude! i totally do! i totally get math now!!! my nerdy asshat teacher is gonna be surprised as hell tomorrow! ElvenLord416: Great, I bet he will be! …Next you said your girlfriend was upset over trust issues…? Bball4evar96: yea! the bitch is pissed just cuz i want to know where shes goin and who shes hangin out with. who wouldn’t want to know that! but i don’t want her to leave me so.. ElvenLord416: Yeah yeah I totally get you. …I can help with that. Mental exchanges kinda take us into negative exchanges which are a little more complicated with how they work. You can actually give away the absence of things to gain something. Bball4evar96: …huh? ElvenLord416: Sorry, like if you wanted to like the color purple you could give away your not liking purple and then you’d like it. Bball4evar96: Uhh…. huh… ElvenLord416: Its all in how you word it. All kinds of trades are possible like I could take all of your distrust of people in exchange for like 15 points of your IQ. The app is by nature is very free form and allows users a lot of freedom in how they want to use it. Do you understand? Bball4evar96: …yeah… i think so… #Exchange accepted… PROCESSING…Complete# Bball4evar96: …hey u still there? ElvenLord416: LOL Yeah, I just can’t believe there are still people out there who that shit works on. I even explained how this works and you still… Wow. Anyway, now that you trust me completely we can keep going. …You do trust me completely right? Bball4evar96: …yeah man, u know it. ElvenLord416: LOLOLOL Awesome. Then since I’ve helped you so much, you don’t mind doing a couple more exchanges for me right? Bball4evar96: sure, yeah i trust you. ElvenLord416: Perfect! I exchange all but 4% of my body fat for 95% of your muscle mass. Type okay. Bball4evar96: okay. #Exchange accepted… PROCESSING…Complete# ElvenLord416: Next I’ll exchange my pale skin tone for hmm… 90% of your cock’s length and girth. Type okay. Bball4evar96: okay. #Exchange accepted… PROCESSING…Complete# ElvenLord416: Wow… Really wow, this is fantastic… Trust issues, jeez what a dangerous thing to play with. Lucky for me, nobody with a brain trusts anybody on here already. Bball4evar96: …what do i do now? ElvenLord416: ah… man… ya know, I look so good maybe I’ll leave it at that… I’ll even keep your shitty vision, hell I look amazing even with glasses. You need to try and find someone on here that you can trick into giving you some smarts back… or maybe just stay off here altogether before you lose even more. I dunno, you’ll figure it out. Anyways, seeya dude! …User ElvenLord416 has disconnected…
  11. Please Don’t Touch the Artifacts (Still just recovering old shorts I did from tumblr @[email protected]) -“Where have you be– HOLY SHIT!” —“What bro?” -“What the hell happened to you?! The professor sent me to find you after you wandered off in the Persian exhibit…” —“Chill dude, I was just checkin’ the stuff out.” -“B-But we aren’t supposed to touch any of the new artifacts yet… and I mean what happened to you… you’re huge… but not like fat anymore– OW!” —“Fat?! You callin’ me fat bro?!” -“N-No! Just how’d you get all buff-” —“Fuckin’ hard work bro that’s how! This bod is how I get shit done, its why I -don’t get in trouble when I do shit like accidentally break old shitty pots.” -“Wait… You broke a– OW! OW! Okay Okay nevermind! But we have to go!” —“Damn straight nevermind… First I’ma get a selfie for my instagram, fuckin’ queers eat this shit up. Now if you shut the hell up the rest of the way, you can have your usual reward and get all up on this after you finish my homework.” -“Do your homewor–?! …….Oh! ….Okay…”
  12. Sometimes It’s Best to Just Leave Well Enough Alone “You! You did this, I know you did! The other two can’t even remember what we used to do but I still do!” “You were drunk and getting out of hand, we’re bouncers; its our job to throw people out when that happens!” “Stop saying that! We are not male escorts! And you definitely aren’t our client! Jake, Ramone, stop looking at him like that, hes tricking you somehow!” “Sure we may work the streets sometimes; moneys tight and times are tough, but its the middle of the day and this wasn’t even arranged! Guys! Don’t you remember, he’s doing something to us!” “This is insane! Listen buddy, I’m calling the cops; what you’re doing can’t be legal.” “Hello! I’d like to repo– Err… wait did I dial the wrong number? Err– Y-Yes sir, I’m sorry sir. Yes… the client is right here… Are you sure? The three of us for the whole weekend? A-Ahh– Alright! I-I mean– Yes Daddy! The whole weekend; you can count on us!” “Mmm… Sorry handsome, my mistake; looks like you’ve bought one of Daddys deluxe packages. Lets get back to your room and we’ll show how with us three definitely isn’t a crowd…”
  13. Girdle of Masculinity - Unconscious Desire “Give him some space! Give him some goddamn space!” Coach Saunders shoved the gawking football players aside as he and a pair of the assistant coaches looked over James’ unmoving form. It had been a near perfect play, they thought the other team didn’t have a clue. The coach’s misdirection would’ve been flawless… if not for the fact that their opponents had just come to assume the ball would always end up in James’ hands… Four guys on their team had hung back and tackled the shit out of him as soon as he caught the ball… When they got up… James wasn’t moving. “He’s breathing, he’s breathing! Probably has a hell of a concussion and god knows what else… I SAID BACK THE HELL OFF! BACK TO THE SIDELINES!” The last of the players trudged off the field reluctantly. “Bring that stretcher over here Billy!” The timid looking water boy practically jumped when he heard his name but quickly complied. “Alright, we’ll lift him on three, make sure you’re supporting his head… Jeez this guy weighs a ton… Billy get your ass over here and help! Get his feet!” Billy nodded vigorously and stepped up obediently, not sure how helpful he’d really be… “One…. Two…. THREE!” With a great deal of effort they managed to heft James onto the stretcher. Billy paled when he saw how still the star athlete was… “Alright let’s get him to the locker room.” They wheeled him carefully but swiftly off the field, closing the doors behind them… The room was so quiet compared to how it had been before the game… It seemed wrong somehow to Billy. Coach Saunders looked James over one more time before sighing and taking a breath. “Alright you two, get back on the field… We’ll need to win this game without our ace player.” The two assistant coaches nodded, heading back out, Billy went to follow when the coach stopped him. “Hold up Billy, I need to get on the phone with administration and let them know what happened, then I need to try to get in touch with James’ parents. You stay with him until the ambulance arrives and try to take off some of his pads; VERY carefully… Let’s try and make it easier on whoever they send to move him…” The coach sighed and headed out to find a phone… The room became silent once more… Billy stared down at James’ handsome faced, trying to control his breathing. “…I…I’m sorry this happened to you… I-I hope you’re okay…” The silent room was his only reply. Billy peered at all the straps and clasps on the larger man’s gear. He had helped players into and out of them a thousand times, James included… The day James came out to the team was one of the best days of Billy’s life, he was still far too nervous to come out himself, but seeing someone as tough and cool as James do it made him feel so much better about himself. He had tried to psyche himself up into asking the quarterback out countless times… But everyone knew James could (and usually did) have anyone he wanted… He was practically perfect, why would he date the equipment manager… Billy removed most of the padding, dropping it to the floor softly as if he were worried about waking the unconscious player. He paused a moment and looked around the empty room before gently running his hand through James’ hair… He flushed and looked down at James’ uniform pants… He reached out his hand then stopped… embarrassed at his own behavior, he looked around the room again before turning a deeper shade of red and undoing the QB’s pants and belt. A wave of dizziness came over Billy but he steadied himself on the gurney… He looked down at Jam– at Jimmy, his eyes widening… He then looked at the weird belt he held in his hand… - “Alright the medics should be here any second.” Coach stepped back into the locker room right as Jimmy began to stir. “Oh good, you got all his gear off… Hey you with us buddy?” Jimmy winced, looking around then flushing as he saw their equipment manager standing beside them before nodding slowly… Coach Saunders looked Jimmy over again. “You’re fast as anything but man… there ain’t enough padding in the world for a quarterback your size…” He sighed then stepped back. “So… when’re /you/ gonna finally get in the game rather than wasting your time playing equipment manager?” The coach smiled, and looked at his ridiculously over qualified water boy. William just smiled. “Sorry coach, I’m happy where I am…” The older man laughed at that. “You’re the biggest guy on the field when we practice. Half the guys hit the weight room just to try to get guns as big as yours, not to mention how many enjoy just watching you work out…” The coaches eyes flitted to Jimmy then back to William. Jimmy turned bright red and tilted his head to stare at the blank wall beside them. “Oh?” William asked coyly. He leaned in close over the prone quarterback, his large frame warming the air between them. Jimmy turned back and started to stammer something before William closed the distance and pressed his mouth softly to Jimmy’s… The smaller form gasped then let out a low moan before William pulled back and smiled. “An incentive for you to get better… There’s much more where that came from…” He smiled and Jimmy somehow managed to turn an even deeper scarlet. Just then the paramedics burst through the door, they expertly shifted Jimmy onto their stretcher and headed for the door. William reached out, his fingertips gently brushing Jimmy’s as they left… The room was silent for a moment more before William turned back to the coach. “I’m gonna head back out there with the team… You can hang back for a few if you need to.” Will smiled, gesturing to the coach’s obvious wood which the older man quickly tried to cover with his clipboard. Will just gave another charming smile and raised his arm, flexing his meaty bicep and giving a thumbs up before heading out to the field. The coach sighed… “Looks like I’ll need another bottle of lube tonight…”
  14. Girdle of Masculinity - Team Player “I-I don’t know Coach… There’s too much riding on this. I’ve done okay for the year but I feel like I’m barely keeping it together.” James “Jimmy” Conroy was confiding his anxieties to Coach Felix Saunders. “You’ve got nothing to worry about. You’re a fantastic quarterback Jimmy… You’re fast, agile, and clever as anything, more than making up for any size difference you have with other players.” “Thanks Coach… I-I just… I should have never come out to the team… I thought since it was senior year and we’d been together for so long, it’d work out… but…” Felix winced and patted Jimmy on the shoulder, he’d advised the young man earlier this year to trust his team mates and go for it. But for the most part they had… disappointed him. “It’s alright son, it just surprised some of them is all. You knew… a couple would be bothered by it… … …At least the water boy seemed pretty excited to accept you.” Coach Saunders tried to add a bit of levity to their conversation and Jimmy offered him a small smile but resumed hanging his head all the same. “Just… this is the last game of the main season. Scouts will be there, my… family will be there. Between this, my grades, coming out… it’s all too much.” Jimmy’s words broke Felix up inside… He didn’t ever plan on becoming a PE Teacher and Coach when he was younger but he turned out to be one of the great ones. He cared about the kids, and seeing Jimmy like this tore him up inside. The boy was an incredible player, one of the best the school had seen… but his confidence and self-esteem were shattered. And he wasn’t wrong, if he blew this game it was going to affect his future big time… If only he could get his confidence back…– “Jimmy– James… There is something…” Felix slowly breathed in, choosing his words carefully. “…Something we can do to get you through this game and off on the right track again.” Jimmy looked up, confused and red eyed. “…But just this once… Just for this game.” “…What coach?” Felix gripped his belt buckle and paused a moment before undoing it. Jimmy flinched a moment as the wrestling muscle god that was Coach Saunders shifted back to the man that he was, gut, graying hair, and all. “C-Coach… W-what?” “Calm down Jimmy… Let me explain.” And Felix told him all about the belt and how it worked and what it did (leaving out the circumstances of it coming to him of course…) Jimmy’s eyes slowly widened as he took in what Coach Saunders was proposing.,.. “…S-So noone will notice the difference?” “Put it on right here and now before you go back to the locker room and yes, only you and I will know.” “O-Okay…” He reached out and took the simple looking belt from his Coach. “Here goes…” —————————— The game was INCREDIBLE. Felix was right, all that boy needed was an injection of confidence and he was unstoppable. Not only did they win, not only did he carry the team, but when the score hit 49 - 0 the other team just gave up, forfeiting the game. All his team mates, his friends, were cheering and hugging him; none of the tension, none of the discomfort was there as the Coach watched them carry him off the field. The young man had had a big day and a big night ahead of him. Felix decided he’d leave the belt with him for the night, let him enjoy himself, he had definitely earned it. —————————— …But when Jimmy didn’t show up the next day at school however, Felix grew a bit concerned. Fun is fun, but there are limits. He drove to Jimmy’s house that evening after practice and knocked on the door. It took several moments but a sheepish looking Jimmy, normal Jimmy, finally opened the door. “Uh… Hey Coach…” “Hi Jimmy… I think you know why I’m here.” He turned a bit red in the face, nodding quickly. “Yeah, come in, come in.” Felix stepped inside, looking about. “Oh- My parents left this morning on a trip, its just me. Sorry the place is a bit of a mess. They’re not very neat even on the best of days and we don’t have company a lot so there wouldn’t be any reason for them to usually clean up before they g– “Jimmy…” Felix said flatly. “Right right. Sorry, it was just such a rush with the game and everything after, I was just kind of riding high…” Felix chuckled and nodded. “I know, I know. Believe me I know the feeling. But you still need to go to school and finish out the year. Why don’t you go grab it?” “…Y-Yeah. I’ll get it.” Jimmy quickly moved out of the living room into the house. Felix took a moment to look around… pill bottles, garbage everywhere… Jeez its a good thing he’s getting out of here, going off to a good state school to play while he gets his degre—— “…Hey Coach. What’d you need to talk about again?” A deep voice filled Felix’s ears as he turned around and sucked in his breath. James had removed his shirt, of course he had… it looked so uncomfortable… God some days Felix worried he was going to do something that would get him fired. The QBs body was built like a brick house. Powerful tree trunk legs, thick torso, ripped biceps… But most of all… James’ most distinguishing figure that got him all the attention… His enormous pectorals and perfect angled quarter sized nipples. Felix had to actively keep himself from drooling as well as shift the way he was standing. James just gave that awkward smile of his. “Uh… James… I needed to talk to you about something important…” What the devil was it?! It was… something about… James’….muscles… …? Felix shook his head, no it wouldn’t be that. James just gave a rich laugh. “If you were going to try to talk me out of skipping school and just going straight into the NFL, I told you I made up my mind. The team is going out on a limb and waiving a lot of rules to scoop me up. I’ll keep doing games with you for the rest of the year, but there’s no point in going to class anymore.” Felix opened his mouth to protest but James just offered him that same awkward apologetic smile and his heart melted. He knew it wasn’t a great choice, but the boy was talented… There’s a reason he is being given this opportunity… Before he could say anything the larger man stepped up and wrapped the coach in an enormous embrace. The coach could feel those powerful slabs of muscle on James’ chest pressing into his own and felt faint. “Thank you Coach… For everything, you’ve done more for me than you know.” Felix gave a small smile and just patted James on the back lightly. “Alright alright… Why don’t you get some rest. Now that you’re out I know guys’ll be keeping you up after your performance the other night at the game.” Felix smiled and James actually blushed a little! “I’ll see you at practice tomorrow.” James released him and gave him a grin and a meaty thumbs up. “I’ll be there!” And Felix left, got in his car, and raced home… only stopping to pick up a bottle of lube on the way…
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