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Please Don't Touch the Artifacts



Please Don’t Touch the Artifacts (Still just recovering old shorts I did from tumblr @[email protected])


-“Where have you be– HOLY SHIT!”

—“What bro?”

-“What the hell happened to you?! The professor sent me to find you after you wandered off in the Persian exhibit…”

—“Chill dude, I was just checkin’ the stuff out.”

-“B-But we aren’t supposed to touch any of the new artifacts yet… and I mean what happened to you… you’re huge… but not like fat anymore– OW!”

—“Fat?! You callin’ me fat bro?!”

-“N-No! Just how’d you get all buff-”

—“Fuckin’ hard work bro that’s how! This bod is how I get shit done, its why I -don’t get in trouble when I do shit like accidentally break old shitty pots.”

-“Wait… You broke a– OW! OW! Okay Okay nevermind! But we have to go!”

—“Damn straight nevermind… First I’ma get a selfie for my instagram, fuckin’ queers eat this shit up. Now if you shut the hell up the rest of the way, you can have your usual reward and get all up on this after you finish my homework.”

-“Do your homewor–?! …….Oh! ….Okay…”

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I couldt stop wathcing that wild Tortmund on the background....

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